This is a book worth reading if you find it difficult to say no as the book is loaded with scripts.

The authors' scripts give you examples of how to say no in many life situations: impossible deadlines; events you don't want to attend; and pushy people.

Not all of the suggested scripts may work for you, but they will give you a starting point on how you can create your own scripts or ways to say no.

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Product Description

"To this book I say yes, yes, yes!"
—from the Foreword by Richard Carlson, author of Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

Find more time and energy for the things you love to do—learn to say no without feeling guilty!

The simple word "no" is often the most difficult to say. Yet anyone can develop the skills to say no with confidence, kindness, and peace of mind. And the benefits are enormous. You'll spend less time doing things you don't want to do with people you don't want to see, and move closer to your own priorities and passions.

How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty shows you:

The five simple techniques that will help you say no with finesse in nearly any situation
How to apply two basic principles to minimize guilt about saying no and reduce the likelihood of personal conflicts

In addition, authors Patti Breitman and Connie Hatch provide specific language and practical strategies for defending your boundaries against life's many intrusions and distractions, including:

Demanding friends and family members
Unwelcome invitations, dates, and romantic entanglements
Requests for money, whether from friends, relatives, organizations, or panhandlers
Unreasonable assignments at work
Pushy people who ask for too many favors
Junk mail, annoying phone calls, and buddies with something to sell
High-maintenance people
And much more

Ultimately, "no" can be one of the most positive words in your vocabulary. Whether you crave more family time, more time for yourself, or more time to pursue a dream, saying no frees up room for the "yeses" in your life.

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Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #100224 in Books
• Published on: 2001-02-13
• Released on: 2001-02-13
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 272 pages

From Publishers Weekly
Featuring an extremely promotable high concept, this effort to combine assertiveness training with the aims of the simplicity movement results in an occasionally useful, if unoriginal, self-help book. By saying "no"--with skill and sensitivity--to draining, unsatisfying activities, literary agent and public speaker Breitman and writer Hatch argue, readers will have time and energy for more important ones. After covering the principles behind graceful refusals (e.g., act from generosity; saying less is more), much of the book is devoted to scripts for dealing with a variety of sticky situations--from requests for loans to handling freeloaders, high-maintenance acquaintances, service and professional help--and preventive strategies, some of which are helpful while others could easily come off as insincere. A section on handling unreasonable work demands, such as overtime and extra assignments, does not seem especially realistic, although there is some thoughtful advice on delicate issues such as critiquing performance, dealing with requests for raises and turning down job applicants. Advice on following one's bliss and self-employment seem misplaced here, while suggestions about how to say no to spouses and children are adequate. Readers who want a thorough grounding in assertiveness techniques would benefit more from classics like When I Say No, I Feel Guilty, instead of this hodgepodge of excuses.$40,000 ad/promo.
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review
Advance praise for How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty:

"This book is the bible on how to say no and still be seen as a nice person. It can change your life forever."
--Jack Canfield, coauthor of the Chicken Soup for the Soul® series

"It's a book to consult over and over again. I recommend it."
--John Gray, Ph.D., author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

"Brilliant! This practical, powerful book will help you express what you really feel and want."
--Harold H. Bloomfield, M.D., author of Making Peace with Your Past

"This is a charming, intelligent, and practical guide to finding the great YES of life, by learning that NO is a complete sentence. Thoroughly enjoyable."
--Anne Lamott, author of Traveling Mercies

"A road map for opening up lots of needed space in our lives.  Out with the guilt, and in with a life that is ours again!"
--Janet Luhrs, author of The Simple Living Guide and Simple Loving

"How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty enables us to rid ourselves of needless guilt so we can live a richer, more fulfilling life."
--Dave Pelzer, author of A Child Called "It", The Lost Boy, and A Man Named Dave

"This book is wonderfully useful, doable, wise, and inspiring."
--Sue Bender, author of Plain and Simple and Everyday Sacred

"A must for anyone who wants to live a life of joy and ease, and feel good about it."
--Marcia Wieder, author of Making Your Dreams Come True

"The best book I ever read on setting boundaries. This is a must-read for everyone!"
--Sirah Vettese, Ph.D., author of What Happened to the Prince I Married?


From the Hardcover edition.

Review
Advance praise for How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty:

"This book is the bible on how to say no and still be seen as a nice person. It can change your life forever."
--Jack Canfield, coauthor of the Chicken Soup for the Soul® series

"It's a book to consult over and over again. I recommend it."
--John Gray, Ph.D., author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

"Brilliant! This practical, powerful book will help you express what you really feel and want."
--Harold H. Bloomfield, M.D., author of Making Peace with Your Past

"This is a charming, intelligent, and practical guide to finding the great YES of life, by learning that NO is a complete sentence. Thoroughly enjoyable."
--Anne Lamott, author of Traveling Mercies

"A road map for opening up lots of needed space in our lives.  Out with the guilt, and in with a life that is ours again!"
--Janet Luhrs, author of The Simple Living Guide and Simple Loving

"How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty enables us to rid ourselves of needless guilt so we can live a richer, more fulfilling life."
--Dave Pelzer, author of A Child Called "It", The Lost Boy, and A Man Named Dave

"This book is wonderfully useful, doable, wise, and inspiring."
--Sue Bender, author of Plain and Simple and Everyday Sacred

"A must for anyone who wants to live a life of joy and ease, and feel good about it."
--Marcia Wieder, author of Making Your Dreams Come True

"The best book I ever read on setting boundaries. This is a must-read for everyone!"
--Sirah Vettese, Ph.D., author of What Happened to the Prince I Married?


From the Hardcover edition.

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Customer Reviews

Book..How to SAY NO
Bought for Wife because she just couldn't say NO to her children, which she let "Run All Over Her" until I came into her life, she says to give it a THREE, It was worth every Cent, I've seen a lot of improvement towards standing up for what she really wants to say. It's a Four now.

Exactly what it says in the title
The book literally tells you *how* to say "no" nicely. It doesn't tell you when to say no, or why to say no, it tells you *how* to say no. It doesn't try to give you a moral compass, nor does it judge you or those around you. It doesn't tell you how to best handle the alcoholic in your life; it gives you complete sentences you can use in conversations with the person to make it clear that you don't want to participate (even just by your presence) in X, Y, or Z activities.

There are sections that promote "little white lies", but there are no situations offered where that's the only suggested method of handling it. There are also "preventative" techniques in most of the sections. While those techniques are generally avoidant, I can see how they can be useful for those who are just learning to be assertive and thus can not be assertive frequently.

I don't think there's anything all that groundbreaking in the book; it's literally a book of stock phrases in list format between short sections of motivational prose designed to give you the guts to say it. It can't give you a backbone, but if your in the process of getting one implanted, it can help you change your speech patterns to reflect this (and avoid transplant rejection). It may also help you fake having a backbone with those who aren't pushy.

This book is definitely for when you've already decided that "no" is what you want to say, but you can't actually come up with the words to do so. While the book is clearly by and for middle-middle and upper-middle class women, most of the stock phrases will work for anyone.

Much useful advice about a subject we're never taught!
Heard the cassette program, HOW TO SAY NO WITHOUT FEELING
GUILTY--written and read by Patti Breitman and Connie Hatch . . . and
am so glad that I did, in that it contains much useful advice on this
useful topic that nobody ever teaches us about.

Think about it . . . we get bombarded with requests and, at the
same time, we are told to be polite, kind and considerate of
others . . . so too often, we fail to stand up for ourselves and
just take on more and more responsibilities.

Or we find ourselves burdened with having to deal with
(still another) request for money . . . even turning down
invitations to social engagements can often prove irksome.

What made HOW TO SAY NO so useful to me was the fact
that it covered all these areas, as well as such topics as
demanding friends and family members, unreasonable
assignments at work and telemarketers.

I'm not sure that will become the expert as a result of
having heard this book, but having such techniques as the
following will certainly help make my life easier:

Buy time before responding to a request; e.g., I
need to check a policy.

Say, "I have a policy" . . . e.g., about lending money.
Or: It's our policy to have dinner together every Friday night.

Say, I have plans. Don't go into too much detail when declining
an invitation.

Ask: Will your quality of life improve with another job?

When asked out, you can say, I think I have plans; thanks anyway.
(If you do have plans and they change, you can always call back
if the initial invitation is still open.)

If asked if somebody can bring children, you can say, "This
party is for grownups only."

Give a child two choices to get them a manageable freedom of choice.

When you buy something new, get rid of something old.