Product Description

What if there is a You that has never seen the light of day, has never got to say, "Hey, what about me?"

What if there is a You that you have never even met and certainly never permitted to just be, without fear of judgment or condemnation?

What if you live your life on the sidelines in constant fear of failing to please those who forever seem to stand in judgment of you and your life?

What if you discovered that you had settled for what life has served up instead of what you really wanted and needed?

What if you really think and feel things you have never allowed to come out, and certainly never acted on?

What if your marriage is not at all what you really emotionally want and need, but you silently stay the course anyway, selling out your hope to be happy?

What if you are allowing days to turn into weeks and weeks to turn into months and months to turn into years, all adding up to a lifetime of being what some nameless, faceless world has assigned you to be?

If any of these "What ifs" are true in your life, then we need to talk, and through these pages, we will. First, I have some bad news, and I have some good news. The bad news is you are making the choices that have put you in this life circumstance; the good news is you are making the choices that have put you in this life circumstance. Now is the time to make the biggest choice of your life. Through Self Matters, I will help you do just that.

-- Phil McGraw

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #26387 in Books
• Published on: 2003-05-06
• Released on: 2003-05-06
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 336 pages

From Publishers Weekly
The well-known "life strategist" and TV personality Dr. Phil begins this upbeat self-help book by recalling one of the most unpleasant phone calls he ever had to make. In 1989, ten years into a flourishing career, McGraw called his father to say that, despite the outward trappings of success, he was miserable. His new plan was to move away and start a new career and a new life. According to McGraw, many people are currently in a similar situation-trapped in unsatisfying lives or jobs that they loathe. Too many people, says McGraw, are "so busy being busy, that they have let the colors fade from their lives." They're worried about superficial matters rather than what's important: "I'll bet 90-plus percent of them spent months, or even years, planning their wedding and almost no time planning their marriage!" To change their lives, McGraw's readers must first complete two questionnaires he designed to assess their "authentic self" and their "congruency" (how someone's current life compares with a vision of an ideal life). With the scores from these tests, readers can then embark upon a specific plan for changing their lives-and for determining which external and internal forces they will, or won't, allow to control their futures. Readers familiar with McGraw's aggressive TV personality may be surprised by this book's thoughtful and serious tone. McGraw's notion of making change is not a simple one-it requires readers to examine every aspect of their daily lives-and it's likely that some readers may not be able to make all the changes he advocates. But his book offers a thorough, realistic resource for those who are committed to turning their lives around to get what they really want and need.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From AudioFile
SELF MATTERS is a powerful self-help, self-realization audio performance guaranteed to catch the listener's attention from the very first word. In a loud, exuberant voice, McGraw goes straight to the heart of the matter: Who are you, and how is the real you going to find expression and realization in the real world? Workbook and journal exercises are the key; so is facing the truth about the events, choices, and people that have shaped your life. With all the energy McGraw exudes, listeners will be inspired to work on themselves. M.B.K. 2002 Audie Award Winner © AudioFile 2002, Portland, Maine-- Copyright © AudioFile, Portland, Maine

Download Description

Your life has a root core that, once understood, unlocks a powerful force to create your life the way it was meant to be, the way you want and need it to be.

Key questions and an amazingly clear "map" are now at your fingertips to begin your journey to "Live by Design." These are questions that, with the help of this book, you can answer and bring into action-oriented focus:

• What are the ten most defining moments of your life?
• What are the seven most critical choices you have made to put you on your current path?
• Who are the five most pivotal people in your world and how have they shaped you?

Identifying and working with these key elements are at the heart of Dr. Phillip C. McGraw's latest work, Self Matters, and soon they will be at the heart of your own new work: you.

Through his books, McGraw has changed the lives of millions. In introducing the world to his matter-of-fact, tell-it-like-it-is philosophy of life, Dr. Phil, as he is known to his legions of fans, has put an end to the "everyone's a victim" attitude that had taken hold of our culture. Published in over twenty-five countries, and with millions of books sold, his two number one bestsellers, Life Strategies and Relationship Rescue, forced readers to take a serious look at the excuses they had so long been clinging to as to why they were not happy, not successful, and not enjoying their one chance at living.

Now, Dr. Phil takes those lessons a great leap further and explores one of the most challenging questions facing us all: When you look in the mirror, who is truly hiding beneath that face? Instead of taking a surface look at the way we live our lives, Dr. Phil demystifies how your self-concept came to be and gives a nuts-and-bolts approach to creating a new plan for living and, in turn, for discovering the real you.

In this groundbreaking work, Dr. Phil challenges you to find your "authentic self" -- that person you once were before life took its toll. It is you at your greatest, most fulfilled, most real moment. It is the person you have always wanted to be, but were too distracted, busy, or scared to become. Instead, you have created a "fictional self" -- taking on the identity of who you believe you are supposed be, the person people tell you you are. The incongruence between these two selves is what leads you to feel that your life is incomplete, unbalanced, and altogether more difficult than it really should be.

The good news is it no longer needs to be that way. By using the plan set forth in Self Matters, Dr. Phil helps you to demystify your self-concept and learn how to reclaim your authentic self. In evaluating your life by only the facts, you can learn to think beyond the excuses and fears that have masked the person you have always wanted to be.

Self Matters is one of the most forward-thinking works on self-concept and self-esteem ever published. For the first time, an author tells it how it is and, in the process, teaches us all how to live the lives we have always wanted but prevented ourselves from living. We get only one chance in this world, and now, Dr. Phil shows all how to make the most of it.

Customer Reviews

Great Read!
This is a great book to kick start your personal relationship with self. Dr Phil uses his personality, experience, and education to help others learn the valuable lessons of life. I could totally relate to his book.

Great addition to finding a healthier life, while keeping it simple.

Merna

Pocket of Pearls: A 30-day pocket workbook to start hearing a softer voice inside of you!

Dr. Phil's road to self-awareness
Self Matters is Dr. Phil's self-help guide to achieving awareness of ones true self, which he believes will lead to a more rewarding and fulfilling life. Dr. Phil postulates that we are ultimately responsible for the way we are, what we think, feel, and how we behave. Even if we are living with a fictional self-concept of ourselves, it is because we have chosen to do so. The problem is that we tend to make these choices based on the expectations or influences of others, or based on external events for which we have no control.

Self Matters tends to be simplistic in its approach and also in the real-life examples Dr. Phil uses to illustrate his points. Of course, it has to be if the average person is going to use this book as a guide to practicing therapy on themselves. However, Dr. Phil does provide some key insights into the nature of relationships and personal behavior, and uses a number of interesting labels to describe the determinants of our thinking and behavioral processes.

This book will be of benefit to people who meet the following criteria (per Dr. Phil): You believe in God, and that God has a plan for you. You believe that you have a purpose in life, and if you dont realize that purpose, your life will be unfulfilling. You have had one or more profoundly negative experiences in your childhood that has altered your thinking and behavior in a negative way. As a result, you have developed a fictional concept of your true "authentic self", and this "fictional self" causes you to make bad choices/decisions in life. You tend not to be aware that you are living a life that is based on this fictional self.

Dr. Phil then outlines a lengthy process of self-awareness exercises, that involve you recounting your significant life experiences, choices, feelings, beliefs, self-concepts, and their related consequences. Through the process of reviewing, uncovering, and understanding your life's key moments, you become aware of their signifance and value, which will be either positive or negative. With this new awareness, you can create an action plan for changing your thinking and behavior, in a way that will eliminate your fictional self-concepts, and restore you back on track with your authentic self. Or so the theory goes. The older you are the harder it will be to effect this change.

Whether you are successful with Dr. Phil's guide seems to depend on whether you really want to change, your honesty and sincerity with your self, your level of commitment, and your faith in God. Some may be wondering how God fits into the science of psychotherapy, or whether psychotherapy alone, or religion alone, could achieve the same result. Finally, I found it interesting that Dr. Phil would quote Carlos Castaneda in this book. Is Dr. Phil practicing psychology or shamanism, or a little of both?

Self Matters
This book changed the way I look at myself and the way I look at the rest of the world. One of the best books I've ever read and I recommend it to anyone who wants to change their perception and get the most out of their life.