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General Zombie's Movies Watched in 01/09
By an Amazon.com customer
King Arthur - The Director's Cut (Widescreen Edition)King Arthur - The Director's Cut (Widescreen Edition)
Buy new: $10.99 / Used from: $1.00
(C+) Competent but entirely generic historical epic. The normally excellent Owen is bland and lacking in charisma. On the other hand, watching adowable widdle Knightley scamper about the battlefield covered in paint and wielding a sword is ridiculous but strangely . . . compelling.
Mute WitnessMute Witness
Buy new: $9.95 / Used from: $1.05
(B-) Thriller about a mute fx girl starts quite tense, but it becomes to unfocused and jokey by the end. Too bad, it started out very strong.
About SchmidtAbout Schmidt
Buy new: $5.79 / Used from: $0.01
(B) Payne directed drama/comedy could use more of one or the other, and is a tad too slow much of the time. Also, the middle-class satire is rather shallow and frivolous. On the other hand, Nicholson is great, and I must admit that the somewhat predictable final scene nevertheless made me cry. (A rarity, I assure you.)
Dark WatersDark Waters
Buy used from: $5.43
(B) Ultra-atmospheric Italian horror from the 90s is short on story, but there's never been enough Lovecraftian horror in film, and the visuals are excellent.
Stir of Echoes (Special Edition)Stir of Echoes (Special Edition)
Buy new: $9.98 / Used from: $1.37
(B) Very much an old-fashioned ghost story with a fine central performance from Bacon. It's a tad predicatable, but it fits the form well. Also, my love J. Morrison plays the ghost, and though it's a small, unusual role, her presence never fails to please me.
The Missing (Widescreen Edition)The Missing (Widescreen Edition)
Buy new: $12.99 / Used from: $0.40
(C) Visually-striking but somewhat dull Western from Howard. Jones sleep walks through his role. It passes the time w/o making any impact whatsoever.
Strange DaysStrange Days
Buy new: $8.99 / Used from: $1.88
(C+) This provides a thorough, interesting portrayl of a dystopian near future, but the story is bland, and Fiennes' performance is an irritating knockoff of James Woods in Videodrome. They might as well have digitally inserted Woods. I imagine this film has the same effect on me as does "Blade Runner" for its critics.
Sideways (Widescreen Edition)Sideways (Widescreen Edition)
Buy new: $10.99 / Used from: $0.99
(B) Another entertaining and funny, but not altogether remarkable film from Payne. I find Giamatti annoying, but I suspect I'm supposed to, so it's an effective performance.
Twin Peaks - Fire Walk with MeTwin Peaks - Fire Walk with Me
Buy new: $15.99 / Used from: $3.51
(D) I like some of Lynch's other material, but this just bored the hell out of me, despite a (very) few effective scenes. It verges on self-parody. Also, for being so supposedly creative and unusual, Lynch's films sure are formulaic.
The PromotionThe Promotion
Buy new: $14.95 / Used from: $1.97
(B-) Comedy is more constrained and thoughtful than you might anticipate, though it's never more than modestly amusing. I really like Reilly, but SW Scott bugs the hell out of me, so I guess it's a draw.
Fallen (Snap Case)Fallen (Snap Case)
Buy used from: $1.03
(C+) Post-Seven supernatural thriller has some nice ideas and is watchable, but it's a little too prosaic and unsensationalistic, particularly for a film about a demon killer. Also, Washington isn't edgy or dark enough for the role.
The Man Who Would Be KingThe Man Who Would Be King
Buy new: $17.49 / Used from: $13.16
(B+) Old-fashioned adventurer combines humor and action effectively, and both Caine and Connery are excellent. The ending is also quite effectively tragic.
Captain BloodCaptain Blood
Buy new: $5.79 / Used from: $4.93
(B) Errol Flynn's starmaking role is a little talky for an adventure pic, but it's still a good watch, and has some surprisingly elaborate visuals for the era.
The Unborn [Theatrical Release]The Unborn [Theatrical Release]
(C-) Standard-issue modern ghost pic has an interestingly different backstory, but is largely generic and hackneyed otherwise. Yustman is a friggin' fox, though.
WrestlemaniacWrestlemaniac
Buy new: $24.49 / Used from: $1.22
(C+) Killer Mexican wrestler pic is surprisingly competent technically and has decent gore. On the downside, the performances are incredibly grating.
MirrorsMirrors
Buy new: $15.99 / Used from: $1.49
(C+) Though it may superficially appear otherwise, this follows the Asian-horror blueprint to a t, despite the absence of a girl ghost. It has a little great gore and some decent scares, but it's too long and diffuse overall, and Sutherland is distractingly like his Bauer in 24.
The Elephant ManThe Elephant Man
Buy used from: $16.50
(B-) Has nice B&W photography and is generally competently acted, but the characterizations are a little thin and it turns out Merrick's life wasn't really that interesting. Also, Hurt looks nowhere near as disturbing as the real Merrick, though that's probably for the best.
Haunted (Full Screen)Haunted (Full Screen)
Buy used from: $22.39
(C) Most modern ghost movies are too over the top, but this very 19th century ghost story is so low-key and slow as to be practically catatonic, not to mention predictable. It looks decent enough, however, though Beckinsale has a tragically short and unattractive haircut. What a waste.
Alone With HerAlone With Her
Buy new: $11.99 / Used from: $2.99
(B)High-concept thriller about a crazed stalker who tries to seduce his mark, with all the footage coming from hidden cameras. It's a short, efficient movie that uses the limited budget well.
SabretoothSabretooth
Buy new: $13.49 / Used from: $1.71
(D-) Direct to DVD dreck is everybit as terrible as you'd expect. Too bad, Hickox previously made Children of the Corn 3, a veritable classic of the direct to DVD dreck genre.
The Adventures of Robin Hood (Two-Disc Special Edition)The Adventures of Robin Hood (Two-Disc Special Edition)
Buy new: $8.66 / Used from: $7.40
(B+) Filmed in eye-popping technicolor, this classic adventure has the humor and energy often lacking from older pics. The performances are entertaining across the board, with Flynn being of particular note, obviously.
Eden LakeEden Lake
Buy new: $14.95 / Used from: $5.16
(A-) Ruthless pic about a nice middle-class couple terrorized by hoodlums is one of the best horrors in recent memory. It reminds of Them and Wolf Creek, with great atmosphere and intensity. Merciless film isn't fun, but afficianados should admire it. It's also very socially reactionary, which I like.
Clerks (Collector's Series)Clerks (Collector's Series)
Buy new: $10.99 / Used from: $2.82
(B-) Reasonably funny most of the time, though the poor performances cut from the humor. Still, if this is Smith's masterpiece, my general suspicion of him being largely irritating and repetitious sounds probable.
The Warriors (The Ultimate Director's Cut)The Warriors (The Ultimate Director's Cut)
Buy new: $8.99 / Used from: $3.86
(B) 70s gang-oriented action movie is severely unrelenting and quite entertaining. The gangs tend to be quite homosexual looking, though perhaps this was the style of the time.
Room 6Room 6
Buy new: $9.98 / Used from: $1.46
(C+) Shameless Jacob's Ladder knockoff is inferior in every way, save for having a far more attractive lead in Taylor. It's got a certain creepy-cheesy charm that you get from the better direct-to-DVD horrors, though I couldn't call it good.
6 Films to Keep You Awake6 Films to Keep You Awake
Buy new: $17.49 / Used from: $6.33
(C for Xmas Story and A Real Friend) The two I watched were technically competent and just shy of boring. I may rent the others later, but I'm not optimistic.
Wrong Turn 2 - Dead End (Unrated)Wrong Turn 2 - Dead End (Unrated)
Buy new: $10.99 / Used from: $2.98
(B-) Though lacking Dushku, the original's greatest ASSet (tee-hee!), this is probably more enjoyable than the decent but unremarkable original. It's just a gory, reasonably fun modern slasher pic. Too bad the mutants look pretty stupid, as they often do.
StrangeLandStrangeLand
Buy new: $9.98 / Used from: $2.30
(C-) Contra expectations, this Dee Snider-written vanity project/horror pic is merely quite bad, as opposed to totally horrible. It's no good, but it's also a short, fairly painless watch, and Snider is occasionally amusing in the lead, as he generally overdoes it.
Just BuriedJust Buried
Buy new: $22.49 / Used from: $3.52
(C+) Black comedy is modestly amusing most of the way w/o every really being funny. It passes the time okay, and I always enjoy Rose Byrne.
PROPHECY 2PROPHECY 2
Buy used from: $4.24
(B-) This is mostly just a shadow of the delightful original, but it's surprisingly well-made, andd Walken is still a lot of fun, even if it lacks the mock-epic goofiness of the first film.
My Bloody Valentine 3D [Theatrical Release]My Bloody Valentine 3D [Theatrical Release]
(B-) The rare modern slasher that is a legitimate throwback, with the sort of goofy plot and acting typical of an 80s slasher. Much of the goofiness seems intentional, though, and it's got the standard slasher gore/nudity goods. The 3-D is entertaining too.
Atonement (Widescreen Edition)Atonement (Widescreen Edition)
Buy new: $11.99 / Used from: $1.75
(B) Not really my thing, but the novel wasn't bad and I must expand my horizons now and then. It's immaculately made and acted, though they never fully sell the romance. They just want us to love Knightley/McAvoy automatically. The ending is still a weak, pseudo-intellectual ploy, just as it was in the novel.
Criss Cross (Universal Noir Collection)Criss Cross (Universal Noir Collection)
Buy new: $12.99 / Used from: $6.39
(B) An initially slow and over-talky noir is also highly stylish and well-acted that comes to an effective climax.
Layer Cake (Widescreen)Layer Cake (Widescreen)
Buy new: $10.99 / Used from: $2.35
(B+) Brit gangster pic is made to look like a Ritchie knockoff, but it's much more serious than all that. It has an effectively elaborate plot, slick visuals, and a strong center in Craig.
Saw V (Unrated Director's Cut)Saw V (Unrated Director's Cut)
Buy new: $14.49 / Used from: $3.98
(C-) The Saw sequels weren't ever good, exactly, but they still had a certain charm. This is largely lacking from this turgid, dull installment which mostly serves to make the already ludicrous plot all the more extravagant. There are a few decent setpieces, but it's a flat watch as a whole.
The Alphabet KillerThe Alphabet Killer
Buy new: $17.49 / Used from: $1.01
(C+) Direct-to-DVD serial killer pic is quite nice looking and competently acted, apart from the hot but unconvincing Dushku. The story adds a few new wrinkles to the formula by having the detective be schizophrenic, but the script is ultimately mediocre.