Product Description

Thousands of parents have asked the Baby Whisperer to help them solve their problems. With this book you too can take advantage of the advice, insights, and parenting techniques from beloved child expert Tracy Hogg. "A problem is nothing more than a situation calling for a creative solution," she reminds us. "Ask the right questions and you'll come up with the right answers."

Once you learn how to translate banguage, the "baby-language" your infant uses to communicate needs, feelings, and opinions, you can see your child for who he or she really is -- an understanding that will serve you well as your child blossoms into the toddler years. By helping you establish a daily routine and tailor your parenting strategies according to your child's unique personality and stage of development, Tracy will teach you how to:

• Ask the Twelve Essential Questions to recognize potential problems and employ the Twelve Principles of Problem Solving -- simple troubleshooting techniques for everyday situations

• Avoid, or remedy, accidental parenting -- inadvertent adult behavior that often leads to such common parenting challenges as sleep problems, poor eating habits, separation anxiety, and tantrums

• Be a P.C. parent -- patient and conscious -- who knows how to detect prime times -- windows of opportunity for teaching babies how to get to sleep on their own, introducing bottles to breast-fed babies, toilet training, and other growth issues

• Inhibit runaway emotions and foster his or her emotional fitness -- the ability to understand and manage feelings

...and so much more. For Tracy's fans, this book will be a welcome addition to the Hogg library; for readers unfamiliar with her philosophy of care, it will open a new world of understanding and insight.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #4302 in Books
• Published on: 2006-01-03
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 416 pages

Features

• ISBN13: 9780743488945
• Condition: NEW
• Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.
• Click here to view our Condition Guide and Shipping Prices

Review
"The high-spirited Hogg is humorous yet relentless in her quest to help parents find out why their baby acts a certain way.... [her] followers will no doubt be delighted."

-- Publishers Weekly

About the Author
Tracy Hogg, RNMH, considered a "modern-day Mary Poppins" by the many whose lives she touched, died in 2004. Her legacy lives on in her bestselling books -- Secrets of the Baby Whisperer and Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers, which she also coauthored with Melinda Blau -- as well as her television series, consulting enterprise, and website. Visit www.babywhisperer.com to learn more.

Melinda Blau is an award-winning journalist and author of twelve books. Known for her writing about families and children, she lives in Northampton, Massachusetts.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Chapter One: E.A.S.Y. Isn't Necessarily Easy (But It Works!)

Getting Your Baby on a Structured Routine

The Gift of E.A.S.Y.

You probably have a routine in the morning. You get up at roughly the same time, maybe you shower first or have your coffee, or perhaps you immediately hop on the treadmill or take your pup out for a brisk walk. Whatever you do, it's probably pretty much the same every morning. If by chance something interrupts that routine, it can throw off your whole day. And I'll bet there are other routines in your day as well. You're used to having your dinnertime at a certain hour. You probably have particular rituals at the end of the day, too, like spooning with your favorite pillow (or partner!) in anticipation of a good night's sleep. But let's say your dinner hour changes or you have to sleep in a bed away from home. Isn't it unsettling and don't you feel disoriented when you wake?

Naturally, people vary in their need for structure. At one end of the continuum are those whose entire days are predictable. At the other end are free spirits who tend to fly by the seat of their pants. But even "flyers" usually have some sort of dependable rituals during their day. Why? Because human beings, like most animals, thrive when they know how and when their needs are going to be met and know what's coming next. We all like some degree of certainty in our lives.

Well, so do babies and young children. When a new mum brings her baby home from the hospital, I suggest a structured routine straightaway. I call it "E.A.S.Y.," an acronym that stands for a predictable sequence of events that pretty much mirrors how adults live their lives, albeit in shorter chunks: Eat, have some Activity, and go to Sleep, which leaves a bit of time for You. It is not a schedule, because you cannot fit a baby into a clock. It's a routine that gives the day structure and makes family life consistent, which is important because all of us, children and adults, as well as babies and toddlers, thrive on predictability. Everyone benefits: Baby knows what's coming next. Siblings, if there are any, get more time with Mum and Dad -- and they get to have less harried parents who have time for themselves as well.

I was actually doing E.A.S.Y. long before I named it. When I first started caring for newborns and young babies more than twenty years ago, a structured routine just seemed to make sense. Babies need us to show them the ropes -- and to keep it up. The most effective learning comes with repetition. I also explained the importance of a structured routine to the parents I worked with, so that they could carry on after I'd left. I cautioned them to always make sure that their baby had some kind of activity after a feed instead of going right to sleep, so that their little one wouldn't associate eating with sleeping. Because "my" babies' lives were so predictable and calm, most of them were good eaters, they learned to play independently for increasingly longer periods, and they could get themselves to sleep without sucking on a bottle or breast or being rocked by their parents. As many of those babies grew into toddlers and preschoolers, I stayed in touch with their parents, who informed me that not only were their children thriving in their daily routines, they were also confident in themselves and trusted that their parents would be there if they needed them. The parents themselves learned early on to tune in to their child's cues by carefully observing their body language and listening to their cries. Because they could "read" their child, they felt better equipped to deal with any bumps in the road.

By the time I was ready to write my first book, my coauthor and I came up with "E.A.S.Y.," a simple acronym designed to help parents remember the order of my structured routine. Eat, activity, sleep -- it's the natural course of life -- and then, as a bonus, time for you. With E.A.S.Y., you don't follow the baby; you take charge. You observe him carefully, tune in to his cues, but you take the lead, gently encouraging him to follow what you know will make him thrive: eating, appropriate levels of activity, and a good sleep afterward. You are your baby's guide. You set the pace.

E.A.S.Y. gives parents, especially first-timers, the confidence to know that they understand their baby, because they more quickly learn to distinguish their baby's cries. As one mum wrote to me, "My husband and I and our six-month-old, Lily, are considered an enigma among my peers in our childbirth education class due to our sleep-filled nights and very pleasant baby." She goes on to say that they put Lily on E.A.S.Y. when she was ten weeks old. As a result, Mum says, "We understand her cues and have a routine -- not a schedule -- that makes our life predictable, manageable, and fun."

I've seen it time and again. Parents who establish my E.A.S.Y. routine quickly get better at figuring out what their baby needs and wants at a particular time of day. Let's say you've fed your infant (the E), and she's been up for fifteen minutes (the A -- activity), and then she starts to get a bit fussy. Chances are, she's ready for sleep (the S). Conversely, if she's been napping for an hour (S), while you (the Y) hopefully have been stealing a little downtime for yourself, when she wakes, there's no guesswork involved. Even if she's not crying (if she's under six weeks, though, she probably is), it's a pretty safe bet that she's hungry. And so the E.A.S.Y. cycle begins again.

Write It Down!

Parents who actually chart their baby's day by writing everything down have less trouble sticking to a routine or establishing it for the first time. They also are better observers. Writing things down, even though it seems tedious at the moment (goodness knows, you have lots of other things to do!), will give you a much better perspective. You'll see patterns more readily, and see how sleep and eating and activity are interrelated. On days that your baby feeds better, I'd just bet that he's less cranky during his awake time and sleeps better, too.

When E.A.S.Y. Seems Hard

In preparing to write this book, I pored over the case files of thousands of babies I've worked with, as well as questions I received from parents who have recently contacted me via phone, email, or through my website. My goal was to identify the stumbling blocks that typically occur when well-meaning and committed parents try to establish a structured routine. Most parents' queries are not about routines. Instead, their questions tend to focus on one of the letters of E.A.S.Y. They might ask, "Why are my baby's feeds so short?" (the E), "Why is he cranky and uninterested in his toys?" (the A), or "Why does she wake up several times during the night?" (the S). In this book I deal with a whole range of questions like those and offer lots of suggestions for dealing with specific problems -- all of chapters 3 and 4 are devoted to eating issues, and chapters 5 through 7 to sleep. But we also have to look at how the three areas are interrelated, which is what this chapter is about. Eating affects sleep and activity; activity affects eating and sleeping; sleep affects activity and eating -- and all of them will naturally affect you. Without a predictable routine, everything in a baby's life can go haywire -- sometimes all at once. The solution is almost always E.A.S.Y.

Parents tell me, though, that E.A.S.Y. isn't necessarily easy. Here's a portion of a letter from Cathy, mother of one-month-old Carl and twenty-two-month-old Natalie. It captures the confusion and several of the difficulties parents seem to experience:

My older daughter, Natalie, sleeps very well (seven to seven, puts herself to sleep, naps well). I can't remember how we got her there and need some sample routines to use as guidance for Carl, starting now and covering the next several months. He is breast-fed and I fear I inadvertently keep nursing him to sleep, and I sometimes confuse tired/hungry/gas pain. I need to have a general structure to follow to help me keep track of where I should be with him, since his sister demands a lot of attention when she is awake! Tracy's [first] book talks in general terms about amounts of time on E/A/S, but I'm finding it difficult to relate that to the hours in the day and night.

Cathy was ahead of the game in one respect. She at least realized that her problem was inconsistency and her inability to read Carl's cues. She suspected, quite accurately, that the solution is a routine. And like many parents who have read about E.A.S.Y., all she needed was a bit of reassurance and further clarification. It didn't take her long to get on track after we spoke, as Carl was only a month old, young enough to adapt quickly to a new routine. Also, when I found out he weighed seven pounds at birth, I knew he wouldn't have any trouble going two-and-a-half to three hours between feeds (more on that later). As soon as Mum had her son on E.A.S.Y., she was better able to anticipate his needs. (See a sample routine for a four-week-old on page 25.)

All babies thrive on routine, but some adapt more rapidly and readily than others because of their basic temperament. Cathy's first child, Natalie, who is now a toddler, was an extremely easygoing and adaptable infant -- I call them Angel babies. That would explain why Natalie napped and slept so well and also why Cathy can't remember how she got her there. But little Carl was a more sensitive type of child, what I call a Touchy baby, who even at a month old could be thrown off by a too bright light or Mum holding his head slightly lower than usual when she fed him. As I detail in chapter 2, temperament affects how a baby reacts to virtually everything in his life. Some babies need a little more quiet while they're eating, less stimulating activities, or a darker room to sleep in. Otherwise, they become overstimulated and will resist a routine.

With babies under four months old, problems also can occur because the parents don't realize that E.A.S.Y. has to be ...

Customer Reviews

Wonderful, depending on your parenting philosophy
Most baby parenting books fall into one of two categories: the old-school, "get the baby on a schedule" philosophy or the pro-co-sleeping, child-led "attachment parenting" philosophy.

This book is clearly in the former category, and I think it's the best of its kind. Tracy Hogg is a big believer in getting your baby on a schedule as soon as possible, but she clearly loves babies and advocates for doing so gently, paying attention to your baby's needs and cues.

Her tone can be bit unforgiving (e.g. you kind of feel like a failure if you don't have your five-month-old in a consistent routine) and I disagree with some of her suggestions (e.g. her "Pick Up/Put Down" soothing method just upset my baby further) but, overall, I found the book to be full of helpful suggestions and information.

In particular, the detailed charts of what quantity and types of foods babies should eat at various stages and sample routines and schedules were invaluable. (A few women I know bought the book just to have those charts!) Even though I didn't follow them exactly, it helped to have detailed, specific examples rather than the vague suggestions that most baby books offer.

Bottom line: if you are opposed to the idea of getting your baby on a schedule and directing her routine (as many of the people who gave it a low rating seem to be), you will not enjoy this book. If, however, you're open to that philosophy, this book is a must-have.

It worked for me...
GENERAL COMMENT: Like every baby book I read, I try to keep an open mind. You will NOT find a book that will work for ALL babies but this book worked for mine, who I think is a text book baby.

SITUATION: I was going back to work and my baby was super needy at 6 weeks-- wanted to be helded all the time. He won't nap if I wasn't holding him. And at night, I would rock him to sleep and put him into his crib very very gently when he has fallen into DEEP sleep. Otherwise, he would CRY. But that was my fault because I HELD him alot. This would be fine if I was a stay at home mom...but if even I was, I think it would have taken it's toll on me at some point.

LIKE: I like this book because it helped with getting my baby on a good routine, nap longer, sleep on his own, and sleep longer through the night. I made my own version of the EASY plan, customize it to my baby and what worked for me...this book afterall is not the BIBLE.

RESULTS: By about 8-10 weeks, he was sleeping from 7:30-8 pm to about 4:30 am (with 1 dream feed). Now at 5 months, he sleeps from 8pm to about 7am (with 1 dream feed). He use to nap about 30 minutes at a time. After the plan, he started napping for 2 hours (slightly shorter now since he is older). He LIKES his crib and falls to sleep in about 20-30 minutes of laying down...without ANY fuss. And he is a happy healthy little boy who is 50% for weight and 80% for height.

TRANSITION PERIOD: This didn't happen overnight. I would try for a week or two and revisit the book about a thousand time to make sure I wasn't doing it wrong. He would progess and go back to his old self and progress some more. After about 2 weeks, I customize the plan. You WILL be glad to get some time for yourself and hubby when the baby goes down to sleep in the evening instead of at night. He sleeping pattern gradually falls into place. I don't believe in cry it out so the SHH/PAT worked for me. It was hard and I gave up several times. But it worked before you know it. Just give it your best try and be PATIENT AND CONSISTENT. Even now when he takes a little longer to get to sleep, I still PAT/SHH and he is out.

DON'T LIKE: The tone of the author can be a bit annoying (KNOW IT ALL) but after all, she is a super nanny and have worked with THOUSANDS of babies. This book made me PARANOID as a parent--thinking that I would just ruin my child if I made any wrong moves. But we all turned out okay and our parents didn't have this book.

CONCLUSION: Your instinct as a mom is truly the best guide but sometimes, it does get you into situations that are difficult to overcome. This book helped me better manage my baby's sleep/eating which are the biggest parts of his life. Life is so much less HECTIC for MOM, BABY and DAD.

Brilliant! The One & Only Book I Needed
I purchased this book before my baby was born (based on reviews I'd read on this site). So only fair I post my own review for everyone else.

I found this book really really helpful. My daughter is nearly 11 months and I'm still reading sections on eating etc.

There is a brilliant page entitled 'an average day for a 4 week old baby'. I copied this page and put it on my fridge! If you're a first time mum (or dad) and want some no nonsense advice then get this book.

I also found her Eat-Activity-Sleep-Time for You (EASY) routine good.

I found the advice on sleeping really good. My baby was sleeping through the night by about 3 months.

I did her recommended 'dream feed' (the last feed at between 10-11pm) until around 6 or 7 months old.

She talks about different personality types and I think I have an 'angel' baby ... but I have to take some credit and certainly thank this book for giving me the confidence to relax and be a great mum.

Just one word of warning ... if you're the sort of person that likes the idea of co-sleeping, demand feeding, cuddling your baby off to sleep etc then don't buy this book.