Product Description

How do you win the dating game if you’re a gay man?

After many years of serial monogamy, Dave Singleton went to the front lines to find out, exploring the lives of other gay men who found themselves on the dating fast track with guys they’d met from work, at the gym or bars, and, increasingly, on the Internet. Thus, The Mandates was born—a laugh-out-loud but completely true set of rules about the making (or breaking) of men’s romantic relationships.

A sampling:

Mandate #10: Everything You Need to Know, You Learn in the First Five Minutes
Mandate #12: The Difference Between Mr. Right and Mr. Right Now: Learn It!
Mandate #13: Things You Should Never, Ever, for Any Reason Say Out Loud in the First Six Months of Dating
Mandate #24: Be Your Own “Judge Judy”: Evaluating Heinous vs. Forgivable Sins

Plus, “A Gay Dating Primer: Dos and Don’ts,” and excellent advice on “The Who, What, Where, and How of Meeting a Guy” and “Marking the Milestones of Gay Dating.” At long last, here is a hilarious, definitive gay man’s guide to finding Mr. Right.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #644912 in Books
• Published on: 2004-01-06
• Released on: 2004-01-06
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 240 pages

From Publishers Weekly
"Across the world, eligible gay men are still 'social outlaws,' a ragtag gang of hormonally driven cowboys riding into romantic battle with guns, 'ammo,' and no clue," writes Singleton, who spent many hours listening to his friends' dating woes to formulate the rules he espouses here. A couple of his mandates could be applied to straight folks ("#22: Be True to Your Own Standards" or "#19: Ax the Word Ex"), but Singleton recognizes that most gay men don't adhere to the conventional "till death do us part" rigamarole. Accordingly, he provides would-be Romeos with handy gay-specific tips like "Hit on Someone Your Own Size (And Double Your Wardrobe)." The book contains some filler (such as Singleton's trite list of forgivable and unforgivable sins), but most readers will appreciate the author's breezy but knowledgeable take on gay dating.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From the Inside Flap
How do you win the dating game if you're a gay man?

After many years of serial monogamy, Dave Singleton went to the front lines to find out, exploring the lives of other gay men who found themselves on the dating fast track with guys they'd met from work, at the gym or bars, and, increasingly, on the Internet. Thus, The Mandates was born; a laugh-out-loud but completely true set of rules about the making (or breaking) of men's romantic relationships.

A sampling:

Mandate #10: Everything You Need to Know, You Learn in the First Five Minutes
Mandate #12: The Difference Between Mr. Right and Mr. Right Now: Learn It!
Mandate #13: Things You Should Never, Ever, for Any Reason Say Out Loud in the First Six Months of Dating
Mandate #24: Be Your Own Judge Judy: Evaluating Heinous vs. Forgivable Sins

Plus, A Gay Dating Primer: Dos and Don'ts, and excellent advice on The Who, What, Where, and How of Meeting a Guy and Marking the Milestones of Gay Dating. At long last, here is a hilarious, definitive gay man's guide to finding Mr. Right.

About the Author
Dave Singleton is a marketing professional and the author of many articles on pop culture and entertainment. He and his partner live in Washington, D.C.

Customer Reviews

Nothing New. Not that funny
For $10 I guess its fine, but I didn't learn anything from this book at all. If anything, I actually feel more alienated. I do not live in the gay neighborhood of my city nor do I hang out exclusively with gay people. However, coexisting with straight people isn't even a passing thought in this book. Basically, if you don't live as a cher-worshipping rainbow flag waving poster child of gaydom, the book paints you as a maladjusted closet case who should be avoided at all costs. I agree with the review that said this is a good guide to turning into a "flaky queen". Also, I cannot even count the number of times alcohol is referred to in this book (and I rarely drink) but any drug use is met with a "kick him to the curb, girlfriend" attitude (I don't do drugs either, but I'm just pointing it out). The book does not answer any central questions about what men want. There is research out there about how important a good body *really* is and how important masculine traits really are for a relationship vs. hookup. This author did not pull any of that in. However, there is an underlying assumption that ALL gay men go to the gym, and usually that is an all-gay gym (so I guess a good body is really important to him...). As far as the authors take on the value that gay men place on education or personal growth - oh wait - neither topic is ever mentioned. The whole book can be summed up with the fact that the author actually gives advice on "what to say if he catches you looking at his Streisand CDs when he comes out of the bathroom". So, essentially, the book is a disappointing series of common-sense superficial tips that anyone who went to high school already knows: "don't seem needy or desperate, be confident, don't go into your whole life story on the first date." I mean, if you're THAT clueless about dating... then go for it. Maybe I would've found this useful at 16 or 17, however. (Oh, by the way I just learned that being 30 is old. It's mentioned about 4 times.) I also like how there is a whole chapter devoted to what you should hide & display in your bathroom (aveda = bad... generic shaving cream = good). Um, by the time a guy is in my bathroom, he is probably on his way to having sex with me so I think it'll just have to be ok if he sees moisturizer with retinol. If he wants to end the relationship over my brand of shaving cream (yes, that is mentioned as well) then I'm done too. What is amazing is that in previous chapters, "being your fabulous gay self" is encouraged, but now we're playing "hide the gay cosmetics?" The book is replete with hypocritical counsel, vague generalizations, and inconsistencies. I suppose, then, it is more of a metaphor of gay dating than a guide to it.

So Dead On About Real Behavior - That Makes It Hilarious

I like the author's "Been there, learned that" attitude. It's not like serious "you must do this to get a lover" rules, which was a huge relief. I related to the stories from other guys and it was perfect for the beach last weekend. It's best when it's both funny and wise like with these chapters that I really liked:

-The "Hurry Up But Hold Back Factor"-Men Want What They Want When They Want It, Don't We?
-Eager Beavers Gnaw Quickly Then Drown.
-Be Your Own "Judge Judy" With Relationship Mistakes: Evaluating Heinous Vs. Forgivable Sins.

not that great
Most of this book was common sense aside from a few things with which I completely disagreed.
It was good in the sense that in went into the details of how you merge the two lives, and the complications that happen once you're an item.
However, the author confuses sarcastic bitchyness with humor at times.
There is a section about how to handle your friends when they're about to "dish" you to your date. First of all, why would you be friends with someone who would mudsling you in the first place? Why keep that kind of negativity around? He could've simplified that chapter into one sentence, "don't keep mean-spirited idiots for friends".
The author has an obvious bias against monogomy and those who only feel comfortable in monogamous relationships. He admits to being burned once, and somehow blames monogamy rather than the idiot who cheated on him. It's like blaming the school because your kids skip class.
Oh, and if you're thinking about family and kids, this book has almost no mention of looking for guys with fathering skills.

Unfortunately by trying to simplify dating, and alieviate heartbreak, misfortune, and poor judgement--the author has managed to suck all the magic out of it.