Product Description

Meeting the needs of a generation overwhelmed by divorce odds, relationship experts Les & Leslie Parrott share seven key questions to help couples identify and overcome stumbling blocks to a building a healthy, lifelong marriage.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #6973 in Books
• Published on: 2006-10-01
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Hardcover
• 176 pages

Features

• ISBN13: 9780310259824
• Condition: USED - VERY GOOD
• Notes:
• Click here to view our Condition Guide and Shipping Prices

From the Back Cover
Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, created by relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, is a comprehensive marriage program designed specifically for today’s couples by a couple. And now, in this updated edition, the Parrotts’ award-winning approach has been expanded to incorporate ten more years of feedback, research, and professional experience. This is more than a book—it’s practically a self-guided premarital counseling course, and it is used by counselors and churches across the country and, now in ten languages, worldwide. Questions at the end of every chapter help you explore each topic personally. Companion men’s and women’s workbooks* full of self-tests and exercises help you apply what you learn and enjoy intimate discussions along the way. There is even a seven-session DVD kit (with a bonus session for people entering a second marriage) available that you can use on your own or with other couples in a group or a class that want to grow together. In this dynamic DVD you’ll not only hear entertaining and insightful teaching from The Parrotts, but you’ll also meet other real-life couples who provide amazing candor and perspective. Relationship experts Les and Leslie Parrott show you the secrets to building a marriage that lasts. • Uncover the most important misbeliefs of marriage • Learn how to communicate with instant understanding • Discover the secret to reducing and resolving conflict • Master the skills of money management • Get your sex life off to a great start • Understand the three essential ingredients to lasting love • Discover the importance of becoming “soul mates” … and more. Make your marriage everything it is meant to be. Save your marriage—before (and after) it starts.

About the Author
Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott are founders of RealRelationships.com and the Center for Relationship Development at Seattle Pacific University. Their bestselling books include Love Talk, Your Time Starved Marriage, and the award-winning Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts. Their work has been featured in the New York Times and USA Today, and they have appeared on CNN, Good Morning America, and Oprah.

Les y Leslie forman un equipo como marido y mujer, y son expertos avanzados en los asuntos concernientes a las relaciones personales. Muestran sus experiencias como padres con el objetivo de ayudarte a cumplir la vocación más grande de u vida.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts Copyright © 1995, 2006 by Les and Leslie Parrott This title is also available as a Zondervan audio product. Visit www.zondervan.com/audiopages for more information. Requests for information should be addressed to: Zondervan, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Parrott, Les. Saving your marriage before it starts : seven questions to ask before — and after — you marry / Les & Leslie Parrott. — Expanded and updated ed. p. cm. Includes bibliographical references. ISBN-13: 978-0-310-25982-4 ISBN-10: 0-310-25982-7 1. Marriage. 2. Marriage — Religious aspects — Christianity. 3. Married people — Psychology. I. Parrott, Leslie L., 1964– II. Title. HQ734.P22 2006 646.7'8 — dc22 2006005251 This edition printed on acid-free paper. Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible: Today’s New International Version®. TNIV®. Copyright © 2002, 2004 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked CEV are from the Contemporary English Version © 1991, 1992, 1995 by American Bible Society. Used by permission. The website addresses recommended throughout this book are offered as a resource to you. These websites are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement on the part of Zondervan, nor do we vouch for their content for the life of this book. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means — electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other — except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher. Published in association with Yates & Yates, LLP, Attorneys and Counselors, Suite 1000, Literary Agent, Orange, CA. Interior design by Beth Shagene Printed in the United States of America 06 07 08 09 10 11 12 • 21 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Before You Begin We never had premarital counseling, but we spent the first year of our married life in therapy. Once a week, we met with a counselor who helped us iron out the wrinkles we never even saw before getting married. Not that we were in serious trouble. But we had this naïve idea that after our wedding our life would fall naturally into place, and a marriage preparation course or counseling never entered our minds. We had dated for six years before our nine-month engagement, and we had a lot in common (even our first names). We simply thought we would tie the proverbial knot, set up house, and as the fairy tales say, “live happily ever after.” But we didn’t. The first years of marriage were difficult right from the start. Literally. In the limousine ride away from the church, as both of us waved good-bye to our family and friends through the back window, I (Leslie) began to cry. “What’s wrong?” Les asked. I kept crying and didn’t answer. “Are you happy or sad?” Les put his arm around my shoulders and waited for a reply. When I didn’t answer, he asked again, “What’s going on inside you?” “I don’t know,” I whimpered. “I don’t know.” Les gave me a squeeze with his arm. I knew I was hurting him, but I didn’t know what to say or why I was feeling so sad. Except for the clanging of the tin cans behind us, the ride to the airport that afternoon, June 30, 1984, was quiet. As we waited for 14 Before You Begin our flight in a smoke-filled terminal at O’Hare Airport, both of us felt hazy about what we had just been through. Were we really married? It didn’t feel like it. We were newlyweds, but we felt more like refugees. After boarding the plane, we fell into our seats, exhausted. So much time and energy had led up to that wedding ceremony. And it had gone as planned. But now what? Both of us sat on the plane, emotionally spent, quietly pondering the meaning of marriage. What was it all about, this marriage? Why didn’t I feel any different? Who was this person I married, really? For Better or Worse? Let’s be honest. The “till death do us part” statement of the marriage vow rings increasingly ironic. In the 1930s, one out of seven marriages ended in divorce. In the 1960s, it was one out of four. Of the 2.4 million couples who will get married this year in the United States, it is predicted that at least 43 percent will not survive. For too many couples, marriage has become “till divorce do us part.”1 Every couple marrying today is at risk. More than two-hundred thousand new marriages each year end prior to the couple’s second anniversary. After they toss the bouquet and return the tuxedos, couples often assume they’re headed for marital bliss. But a study of those who recently tied the knot revealed that 49 percent reported having serious marital problems. Half were already having doubts about whether their marriages would last.2 The truth is, most engaged couples prepare more for their wedding than they do for their marriage. The $50-billion-a-year wedding industry can testify to that fact. According to experts, the average two-hundred guest wedding today costs twenty-two thousand dollars. 3 More than one million copies of bridal magazines are sold each month, focusing mainly on wedding ceremonies, honeymoons, and home furnishings — but not on marriage itself. Before You Begin 15 Looking back, it seems silly that Les and I did so much to prepare for our wedding and so little to prepare for our marriage. But the truth is that less than a fifth of all marriages in America are preceded by some kind of formal marriage preparation.4 One wonders what would be the effect if the same amount of time, energy, and money spent on the ceremony was invested in the marriage. Planning the perfect wedding too often takes precedence over planning a successful marriage. And lack of planning is the ultimate saboteur of marriage. The wedding-bell blues are common after the excitement of an elaborate wedding celebration. “The emotional high of ordering engraved invitations, selecting music for the ceremony, and choosing a china pattern took my attention off the big picture,” a young bride told us. “The ceremony was more tangible and less of a gamble than the marriage. I put my energy into the wedding and hoped for the best.” For too long the trend has been to fall in love, marry, and hope for the best. This book offers a different approach. How to Predict a Happy Marriage Over the last three decades, marriage specialists have researched the ingredients of a happy marriage. As a result, we know more about building a successful marriage today than ever before. For example, happily married couples will have: • healthy expectations of marriage • a realistic concept of love • a positive attitude and outlook toward life • the ability to communicate their feelings • an understanding and acceptance of their gender differences • the ability to make decisions and settle arguments • a common spiritual foundation and goal In short, the indicators of a healthy marriage form the basis of the seven questions we pose in this book.5 Every couple should be aware of these issues before (and after) they marry. Taking the time to understand these issues is like investing in an insurance policy against divorce. Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts (SYMBIS) is based on the fact that marriage doesn’t have to be a gamble. As a psychologist (Les) and a marriage and family therapist (Leslie) who counsel hundreds of married couples, we have learned that living happily ever after is less a mystery than it is the mastery of certain skills. Although married life will always have its difficulties, mastering these life skills will steadily and dramatically improve your relationship.

Customer Reviews

definitely worth reading
My fiancee and I are in the process of using this book for our pre-marital counseling. It is good, it definitely has some good suggestions and is very thought provoking. Some of the exercises in the workbook are a bit rigid and unclear but overall I have found it to be great. Covers a variety of topics from communication to misunderstandings to intimacy.
A good investment.

Great for both men and women
This is a great book. Because its written by a couple, it is logical for both men and women. It gives you a very realistic of marriage and what to expect. It's not preachy, just practical.

Definitely One to Own!
Having counseled many couples in 25 years of pastoral ministry, I have read several books on marital, interpersonal relationships. The authors present sound principles that are easy for people to understand and to apply. I had a few older favorites I would recommend to couples until reading this book -- now I have a new favorite to share instead!

One of the unique, most admirable qualities of this work is that it is very helpful to persons regardless of their marital status. A single individual will find it helpful for insight during dating. A person who is engaged will find it helpful in identifying issues that are sure to arise within marriage. A newlywed will find it helpful in responding to the major adjustments of sharing his/her life with another person. A person who has been married for several years will find it helpful in understanding how a marriage deepens and grows over the course of time.

I strongly recommend this book to anyone wanting to enhance an upcoming marriage or an existing one. There are accompanying workbooks, one for men and one for women, that are also very helpful. This book is definitely one to own!