Product Description

recovery has begun for millions of individuals with this straightforward guide. through personal examples and exercises, readers are shown how controlling others forces them to lose sight of their own needs and happiness.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #287 in Books
• Published on: 1992-09-01
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 264 pages

Features

• ISBN13: 9780894864025
• Condition: NEW
• Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.
• Click here to view our Condition Guide and Shipping Prices

About the Author
Beattie was a struggling single parent of two children and freelance author and journalist cranking out stories for a small-town daily newspaper in 1986 when she came up with a book idea. She wanted to write a book about what happens to people when they love someone who is addicted to alcohol and other drugs."There were many books out there about how to help an addict or alcoholic. Nobody was talking about how an addict impacts the lives of the people around him or her, and how crazy you can become when you love someone who is addicted," Beattie said. "Even though I was sober, I didn't know how crazy I could get until it happened to me." Twenty publishers turned down Beattie's book proposal. "It's a good idea, but we don't think there's that many codependents out there," they wrote back.Hazelden, however, a treatment center and recovery publisher based in Minnesota, saw a need for the book. The publisher understood how families of alcoholics suffer and believed Beattie's book idea would help people. Beattie marched to the welfare department, asked for enough financial help to make it through the three months it would take her to write the book, then locked herself in a basement office and cranked out Codependent No More. Codependent No More has now sold 3.5 million copies. Beattie has since written nine more books, five for major publishing houses on the east and west coasts. She relocated from Minnesota to California, and she has long-since paid back the welfare department. Beattie has appeared in the pages of Newsweek and People and has been a regular guest on Geraldo and Oprah. Playing It By Heart is Beattie's first original book for Hazelden since 1990; the book is a return to her recovery roots that first brought her national recognition.

From AudioFile
For twenty years Melody Beattie has been writing lucidly about codependency--the pattern of trying to control or change someone who repeatedly makes trouble for themselves and others, and who usually is manipulating and controlling others as well. The problem is often part of an addictive or depressive syndrome or both (which the author understands well from her own experience); the solution she offers is to work extra hard at clarifying each person's boundaries, keeping everyone's responsibilities separated, and becoming obsessive about looking after one's own interests in the face of demands to do otherwise. Christina Moore's elegant diction stirs in a measure of attention-getting gravitas to this weighty mixture of classic relationship advice. T.W. © AudioFile 2006, Portland, Maine-- Copyright © AudioFile, Portland, Maine

Customer Reviews

A codependent person let's another's behavior affect them...
This book is good for people who find themselves depressed and needing some insight on why they feel the way they do. After reading this book the other book by Melody Beattie "Beyond Codepedency" will help you fix the codependent problem. These books will help anyone who is dealing with an alcoholic relationship or any other dependent relationship. If you find yourself caretaking all the time, ie: thinking or feeling responsible for other people, feel it is your responsiblity to help other people solve their problems, feel needy people are always attracted to you, and feeling unappreciated or used; or you have weak boundaries with the people in your life; you have dependency issues; poor communication; and low self-worth- you are codependent. I didn't think I was, but this book laied my life out perfectly. If you are feeling crazy for the way you are feeling read this book and you will understand why you are feeling the way you are. It is normal it is just you are a codependent person and you need to fix that.

My Upside-Down Life Found Balance and I'm Back On My Feet!
Instead of spending hours of your time, expressing how anxious and depressed I was, and for so many years, I'd share a few things that might tell my story of recovery in a more concise mode.

I had everything but had nothing. I had been Senior Class President, Top 2% in the Country during College, successful in modeling and acting, selected as Volunteer of the Year for the State of Iowa and the list of "stuff" could go on an on. I was so empty inside myself that I didn't any longer know how I felt inside. I was losing any sense of who I was.

I'd become someone that functioned to serve, protect, nurture, encourage, forgive and love someone that couldn't love back. I was with the same person, in a marriage, for almost 5 years, and woke up one morning and realized that the person next to me was a stranger who didn't know the real me. The person that my life revolved around, the person that I chose to take care of and "cover" for, just liked having me around so I could pick up the pieces and paint a picture of a relationship and a family that was like "Ozzie and Harriet" so that others would think that everything was just fine. I can't stand the word "fine" anymore. Nothing in my life was fine and it wasn't until I hit bottom and read "Codependent No More:How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself", that my life began to change. The book answered all of my questions and caused me to look deeply at myself and my situation and evalute how sick I was. Yes, I was the sick one in the relationship too.

I thought that I was doing everything right or doing what was right for my relationship. But I didn't ever consider that my own personal cup was empty and the only person who could fill it with healthy things was me. I didn't know that I was controlling others as I only saw myself as a caring and loving person. What had happened is that I went overboard-WAY overboard to the point that I had stopped eating, started using pills to medicate my pain and refused to make changes in my life.

I was scared. I didn't want to be alone in life. What I didn't realize is that I was already alone. I wanted to love and be loved. After reading this incredible book, I realized that I wasn't being loved. I was being used and abused and I needed to hit this emotional bottom before I would accept help. My therapist advised me to purchase "Codependent No More", by Melody Beattie AND to read it. I almost felt odd going into the self-help are of the book store. Little did I know that the healthiest place in any book store is the aisle that reads "Self Help"!

I owe my life to this book and I thank all of the wonderful people who contributed to the stories in this book, that allowed me to move out of my relationship and to enter a long recovery period. I am still in the care of a therapist. Sometimes I act in a codependent fashion. The difference, however, is that I now see red flags that prevent me from getting too deep into relationships that I reach a point where I lose myself.

I offer this review to you as a gift. May this book help you, no matter what your circumstance, and may you take hold of your life again. You deserve to learn how to care for yourself. You deserve to be loved and to learn how to accept the beauty that comes with a healthy relationship.

My Warmest Regards to ALL!

Peter Cannice
Scottsdale, Arizona
Email: Horsepete@aol.com

Not Like Any Other Self-Improvement Book
This book saved my sanity, my relationship, maybe even my life. I was going through major upsets in my relationship due to a partner's addiction. I was trying to "fix the world" one painful day at a time. When nothing happened except for me to lose hope, trust, faith and love, I turned to a friend for advice. She recommended this book to me. I was skeptical to try yet another DO IT YOURSELF book to fix what was wrong with me, but this one opened my eyes. For the first time ever, I saw the patterns of my actions leading me straight to heartache and frustration. The descriptions were right on target, I saw myself in every list. It was scary, yet encouraging, because I did not feel alone, nor did I feel I was too far gone to be helped. This book will be a fixture on my nightstand to get me through the weaker points in my life. Whenever I need to take a reality check and think of ME instead of that other person, I open the pages and let it heal me. Thank you, Ms. Beattie!