Product Description

In this completely revised and updated edition of Raising Adopted Children, Lois Melina, editor of Adopted Children newsletter and the mother of two children by adoption, draws on the latest research in psychology,sociology, and medicine to guide parents through all stages of their child's development. Melina addresses the pressing adoption issues of today, such as open adoption, international adoption, and transracial adoption, and answers parents' most frequently asked questions, such as:

• How will my child "bond" or form attachments to me?

• When and how should I tell my child that he was adopted?

• What should schools be told about my child?

• Will adoption make adolescent upheavals more complicated?

Up-to-date, sensitive, and clear, Raising Adopted Children is the definitive resource for all adoptive parents and concerned professionals.

"Raising Adopted Children is a comprehensive source of practical, reassuring advice and intelligent support for the adoptive parent. [It is also an] excellent professional resource for social workers, physicians, teachers, therapists, and others working with adopted children and their parents."
--North American Council on Adoptable Children

"Melina, an adoptive parent, writes both sensibly and sensitively on many critical issues faced by parents and their adopted children from infancy through adolescence."
--Booklist

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #21132 in Books
• Published on: 1998-08-01
• Released on: 1998-07-10
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 400 pages

Amazon.com
"Some people may describe adoption as difficult; others simply describe it as different. I am inclined to think of it as complex," writes Lois Ruskai Melina in the updated, revised Raising Adopted Children: Practical, Reassuring Advice for Every Adoptive Parent.

Adoption practices have evolved considerably since this book's first publication in 1986, and the new version of the "Dr. Spock for adoptive parents" reflects the latest theories. Drawing on the findings and practices of pediatricians, social workers, scientists, and adoptive parents, Raising Adopted Children is carefully and thoroughly researched. Chapters on open adoption, international adoption, and transracial adoption are combined with advice on bonding and attachment, breast-feeding an adoptive infant (possible but complicated), dealing with schools, privacy issues, adopting a child with disabilities, adopting as a single parent, and the challenges of adolescence. While Melina's many years of professional and personal experience shape her advice, she remains very evenhanded. For example, she's a strong proponent of the "early telling" theory of adoption (being open about the adoption with the child from the beginning), but she also clearly presents other points of view, and, throughout the book, encourages parents to make decisions that feel right for them.

The text includes specific suggestions for explaining a child's birth circumstances, including common misconceptions, and a valuable discussion about whether adoptees are at greater risk for behavior problems or learning disabilities. She also provides suggestions for setting rules for contact with biological parents, easing grief, and acknowledging a child's history. A completely annotated list of selected references and resources rounds out this superior guide. --Ericka Lutz

From Library Journal
In this comprehensive exploration of adoption issues (bonding and attachment, family adjustment, contact with biological relatives, etc.), the authoran adoptive parent and the editor of Adopted Child newsletteraims for a wide audience: parents, adoptees, and related professionals. Unfortunately, instead of including personal experiences, she takes a plodding though informative textbook approach that combines practical advice (making "Life books") with controversial suggestions (using "Toughlove" for discipline). Still, this is a helpful parenting guide that complements Edmund Blair Bolles's The Penguin Adoption Handbook ( LJ 4/15/84) and Lois Gilman's The Adoption Resource Book ( LJ 3/1/85). Janice Arenofsky, formerly with Arizona State Lib., Phoenix
Copyright 1986 Reed Business Information, Inc.

About the Author
Lois Melina is the editor of Adopted Child newsletter and serves on the board of directors of the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, an organization dedicated to improving the quality of information about adoption and providing guidance for practice and policy change in the field. Melina speaks frequently about adoption to professional organizations and adoptive parents throughout the United States, Canada, and Australia. She is the author of Making Sense of Adoption and coauthor of The Open Adoption Experience.

Customer Reviews

Worth skimming not reading
Deep into the adoption process we are hungry for information on what our adventure in child-rearing will be like because of going with an adopted child. If you are in that position this book is worth skimming but not worth reading. It is a very dry book which would work better as a website where key topics are identified and you can skip to the parts of interest to you. Or rewrite it as a simple list of topics with 2 sentences under each ("oh I wonder how my adopted kids will react to X").

Reading this book from cover to cover, on the other hand, will leave you feeling like every aspect of life is a potential threat to the mental health of your child. It took all my strength not to throw the book in the trash when the authors talked about the issues the adopted child might have dealing with seeing the baby Jesus at Christmas time. There is a point where simply outlining every possible source of stress may not be helpful. This book likely reaches that point. It's not that these things can't possibly be stressful but it feels like this book may be giving equal weight to every possibility. In many cases it feels like what is being shared are merely anecdotes which feel as solid as if a coworker said, "I heard on the internet that...."

The book is probably good to have around during stressful times when you might want to find, in writing, proof that others have had these issues, too. And for that reason I can't be too critical of the book. It's reference pages also are very good. But this is a text not a book- a collection of thoughts rather than a well thought out guide for parents.

more for people who adopted babies
I am doing foster care and now have the opportunity to possibly adopt a 7 year old girl who has lived with us for 8 months. I read this book because I was hoping to find some good information. It is filled with good information, but not much of it pertains to my situation. It has lots of advice for people adopting babies and who are infertile but not lots of stuff for people in my situation.
If anyone knows of a good book on how to integrate an adopted child into the family (not just with the parents but with the bio children of the family as well) and how to help the adopted child deal with being adopted and not getting to go back home with a mom she is really attached to (but who is mentally ill) please let me know! =o)

A MUST READ
As an adoption specialist for 20 years, I always recommend reading this book before, during and after adoption. Not everything applies to everyone, but on a whole, it gives the best and most accurate information about the adoption process. Just like any "manual" on how to do something, there are parts that won't be for you or about you. Take what you can from the book. Keep it on your nightstand and in years to come you will want to refer to it. I call it the "Dr. Spock of Adoption". Not every scenario about adoptive children will happen to your child, but when one does, you will be more prepared. She must discuss all the potential issues. There have been many books written since Lois wrote that book, but it is still one of the best. Make it part of your adoption library, along with some others.