Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #170255 in Books
• Published on: 1990-11-30
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Hardcover
• 256 pages

From Publishers Weekly
Drawing from her own experiences and those of others who have adopted children from outside the United States, the author here addresses a range of issues arising from the controversial practice. As the single parent of two Korean-born daughters, Register ( Living with Chronic Illness ) is often faced with the query posed in the book's title. How she and other parents help their foreign-born children ease into American society is examined and evaluated. Larger questions, such as the ethics of uprooting children from their heritage, the global issue of wealthy versus poor countries, the racism often encountered by these children, the wrenching issue of the rights of birth parents, are presented in very personal terms. Internationally adoptive parents will find this an empathetic guide.
Copyright 1990 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal
As the adoptive mother of two Korean girls, Register has often been presented with this remark, either spoken or implied. Yes, the girls are "hers," now, but the question does bring out some of the practical and ethical issues involved in cross-cultural adoption: are the parents in the wealthier nations "entitled" to raise children left homeless in other parts of the world by poverty or social stigma? Do adoptive parents have a responsibility to their children's birth countries or to other disadvantaged children and their families? What does it mean to "own" a child, anyway, and who can ultimately make that claim? In this sensitive, compassionate guide, Register addresses these and other issues and shows how they are played out in the actual, day-to-day experience of her own and other adoptive families. With the number of these adoptions increasing each year, most public libraries will want to purchase this book.
- Marcia G. Fuchs, Guilford Free Lib., Ct.
Copyright 1990 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Customer Reviews

Must Read for Multi-cultural Adoptive Parents
This book was great! Outdated for sure, but the guts of this book hit home no matter when you are adopting. It makes you ask the hard questions. It makes you decide if you can really go through with an adoption. Hope they will make an updated version sometime soon!

a must read for any parent adopting abroad or choosing to become a multi-racial family
At the start of our international adoption process I ordered any, and every, book I could find on the subject. When I received "Are Those Kids Yours?: American Families With Children Adopted From Other Countries", I could not put it down.

Thus far, this book has been the most valuable resource to me. It gave me a better understanding of the international adoption process, as well as some of the struggles we are about to face; both with adopting abroad and becoming a multi-racial family. Ms. Register provides real-life examples of different road-blocks that she, and other families have come against, as well as how those situations were handled.

The interviews with several families built through adoption, as well as Ms. Register's personal experience, shed a candid light on how to deal with intruding questions and awkward stares from strangers. She also reminds us that sadly, bigotry still exists in today's society and provides us with ways of dealing with the matter in our minds, with our children and to the public.

Ms. Register also addresses the different emotions felt by adoptive parents as well as adopted children through the entire process. The book provides an honest portrayal of some of the emotions involved in international adoption, which leaves the reader knowing that they are not alone in the way they feel.

This is a book I will not be selling any time soon. I know that as we go further through the process and raise our family, I will use this book as a reference over and over again. I highly recommend this book to anyone adopting abroad or raising a multi-racial family.

A wonderful read for the most part
Most of what Cheri Register has to say was very informative and helpful. I bought this book wanting to either reaffirm our decision to adopt internationally or for it to bring new realities to light and scare us away from it. I am happy to report that we are still planning on going through with international adoption.
I especially liked Register's thoughts on how to help your internationally adopted child deal with their differences and how to handle nosy intrusive outsiders who question you in public- very insightful there. She also goes into great detail about attachment and bonding issues in toddlers. I have experience with attachment disorder children, so I can say that what she writes is 100% accurate.
I do think she overemphasized on Korea a bit much. That is where she adopted her children from. We are interested in Korea, but for someone who isn't, this might get redundant. I would have liked to see her have equal emphasis on countries.
I will agree with another reviewer, that her last chapter is preachy. I don't agree that it is our responsibility to continue to support our child's birth country. Is it really necessary to continue to send funds to that country? My first emphasis will be on my adopted child and household, and maybe ocassionally supporting that country, but not on a long term constant basis.
So, I do recommend reading this book, but watch out for the last chapter and don't expect to get a lot of information on each country available to adopt from!