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The Connected Child: Bring hope and healing to your adoptive family

The Connected Child: Bring hope and healing to your adoptive family
By Karyn Purvis, David Cross, Wendy Sunshine

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Product Description

The adoption of a child is always a joyous moment in the life of a family. Some adoptions, though, present unique challenges. Welcoming these children into your family--and addressing their special needs--requires care, consideration, and compassion.

Written by two research psychologists specializing in adoption and attachment, The Connected Child will help you:

-- Build bonds of affection and trust with your adopted child -- Effectively deal with any learning or behavioral disorders --Discipline your child with love without making him or her feel threatened


Product Details

  • Amazon Sales Rank: #10738 in Books
  • Published on: 2007-04-22
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Binding: Paperback
  • 288 pages

Features


Editorial Reviews

Review
"...an extremely useful parenting handbook... truly outstanding because of its numerous examples of scripts and phrases that parents can use... this book is strongly recommended." -- Library Journal (starred review), April 1, 2007

From the Publisher
A hope-filled resource for parents who have welcomed children: -- From other countries and cultures -- From troubled backgrounds -- With special behavioral or emotional needs

"A tremendous resource for parents and professionals alike." --Thomas Atwood, president and CEO, National Council for Adoption

"A must-read not only for adoptive parents but for all families striving to correct and connect with their children." --Carol S. Kranowitz, M.A., author of The Out-of-Sync Child

"The Connected Child is the literary equivalent of an airline oxygen mask and instructions: place the mask over your own face first, then over the nose of your child. This book first assists the parent, saying, in effect, 'Calm down, you're not the first mom or dad in the world to face this hurdle, breathe deeply, then follow these simple steps.' The sense of not facing these issues alone -- the relief that your child's behavior is not off the charts -- is hugely comforting. Other children have behaved this way; other parents have responded thusly; welcome to the community of therapeutic and joyful adoptive families."

Melissa Fay Greene Author of There is No Me Without You: One Woman's Odyssey to Rescue Africa's Children

About the Author
Karyn B. Purvis, Ph.D., is the director at Texas Christian University's Institute of Child Development, which hosts the Adoption Project and its Hope Connection camp.

David R. Cross, Ph.D., is the associate director of the Texas Christian University's Institute of Child Development and a professor in TCU's psychology department.

Wendy Lyons Sunshine is an award-winning journalist.


Customer Reviews

Quietly creating miracles around the world5
If you are thinking about adopting a child from a foreign country or even a child who has been shuttled from foster home to foster home, you must read this book first if you want to raise a happy and healthy child.

There are dozens of parenting books on the market, but what makes this book so very special is the authors' ground-breaking, empirical research with adopted children. Their research has been done at Texas Christian University in Fort Worth, TX (http://www.child.tcu.edu/) Their discoveries and methods are unique because they use a wholistic approach to healing the wounded child. The result is that they are quietly creating miracles as their methods are learned by others and spread around the world. Their research is also helping other at-risk children, including those with autism.

According to the authors, structural changes take place in the brains of infants who were abused or deprived prior to adoption. Unfortunately, it is common practice in some foreign orphanages for babies to be laid on their backs for 24-hours a day, with a bottle propped into their mouths, and lying in soiled clothing. They are never cuddled or talked to because it makes them cry for more attention. These orphanages become eerily silent as babies eventually give up their voices. Similarly, toddlers beg for food from their cribs, only to be ignored. Many children are sexually abused in these orphanages.

Many adoptive parents believe that all they have to do is adopt the baby, and love and nurture it, and everything will be fine. However, the authors' research shows that these parents are about to face the biggest, and perhaps the most expensive, challenge of their lifetime. Happily, that challenge will be rewarding, and more likely to succeed, if they read "The Connected Child" and practice the authors' advice. And so should their pediatrician or any other caregiver! They will understand what made their child unapproachable, angry, fearful, sexually precocious, sleepless, aggressive or withdrawn. Most importantly, they will have the knowledge and the tools they need to ensure their child develops normally.

The authors' research grew out of a summer camp they developed for adopted children with emotional and behavioral problems. Saliva and urine tests were done on each child. The chemical results were shocking! They discovered that the childrens' neurotransmitter levels were off the charts. They also discovered that when they used specific behavioral interventions, and gave them special supplements with the support of a doctor, the childrens' neutrotransmitter levels began to normalize. Their behavior changed completely!

Here are three success stories described in the book:

(1) "Diagnosed with bipolar disorder and reactive attachment disorder (RAD), a six-year-old girl didn't allow her parents to cuddle her. She had to be socially isolated because she would growl, writhe on the floor, and physically attack her sister and brother. In less than a year of intensive behavioral intervention, she became a kind and affectionate big sister with lots of friends. She and her mother now share the simple joys of home life, including craft activities and baking cookies. She has begun telling her mother, "I love you."

(2) "A five-year-old boy who was physically tiny and had limited language skills since coming home four years earlier began seeking his mother's cuddling and speaking in full, articulate sentences. He grew so rapidly that he gained three pant sizes--all within two months."

(3) "An eleven-year-old boy who wasn't allowed in public school for two years because of his aggressive outbursts was successfully weaned from two antipsychotics and three other drugs. He has successfully rejoined a regular classroom and excels at many enrichment activities. He is praised by his new teacher for his consistently exemplary behavior."

This book and the Institute of Child Development will leave a positive mark on this world. For the sake of the children, I hope parents and caregivers everywhere will heed their advice.

A really helpful resource5
I adopted a child at birth who is now 9. She has since been diagnosed with a mood disorder--probably bi-polar. The Connected Child was as helpful to me as Ross Greene's books about the Explosive Child. I learned something new from every chapter, especially the last few chapters on Dealing with Defiance, Nurturing at Every Opportunity and Proactive Strategies to Make Life Easier. Simple suggestions made by the authors, such as watching for signs of overload, speaking with authority, rehearsing the child for what's coming, helping your child identify emotions, among many others have stuck with me. I've even used them successfully. The book is written simply and clearly, easy to skim through to find sections that apply to your situation. I highly recommend this book. Erica Manfred

THE Best adoption resource5
Brilliant!! The wisdom in this book has made our stressful house a home full of laughter and peace. We saw changes in our internationally adopted children within days. I especially appreciate that they write from a stand point of hope not despair. I have read 20+ books on adoption, attachment and behavior - this is the best resource available. Very practical advice for how to parent at-risk kids. Every adoptive parent should read this book.