Product Description

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #389432 in Books
• Published on: 2009-01-06
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 344 pages

Features

• ISBN13: 9780472033287
• Condition: NEW
• Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.
• Click here to view our Condition Guide and Shipping Prices

Review
"Looks at adoption from all sides of the triangle: adoptee, birth mother, adoptive parents.... A provocative, comprehensive inquiry." - Kirkus Reviews "Important and powerful.... [the author] is concerned not just with adoptees but with the experience of adoptive parents and birth parents." - Psychology Today "An articulate and convincing account of people Lifton has interviewed, men and women who feel crippled by not knowing who their parents were. Included are reports on dealers in black-market babies and equally disturbing information on supposedly reputable adoption agencies." - Publishers Weekly"

About the Author
Betty Jean Lifton, Ph.D., is a writer, psychotherapist, and leading advocate for adoption reform. Her fourteen books include Journey of the Adopted Self and The King of Children, a New York Times Notable Book. She regularly makes appearances as a lecturer on adoption, and has an adoption counseling practice in Cambridge, Massachusetts and New York City.

Customer Reviews

A must-read for adoptees who are searching/reunited
Most Triadians (adoptees, birth parents, adoptive parents) know that BJ Lifton is one of the definitive voices on adoption issues, and this book is one of my personal favorites of hers. If you buy no other search/reunion book, this is the one to have IMO.

I began my search for my birthmother in 1986, locating her finally in 1997. "Lost and Found" in particular helped me to deal with a lot of the issues that come up while searching, AND once you are reunited. There are even chapters on birthfathers and on siblings, something most books fail to mention or deal with.

It is important for those who decide to search to carefully consider their reasons for searching, and also to think about what their expectations are. If you are not prepared for the possibility of "anything can happen", you may be highly dissapointed or even devasted by the results.

I am glad that I chose to search, it has made my life complete in a way that wouldn't have been possible before I had the answers to my questions about where I came from, and who "my people" were. Though my reunion has had some major ups and downs, I don't regret my decision and I thank BJ Lifton for her insights that helped me get through the entire process.

~Reunited adoptee and adoptee rights activist Still ISO birthfather

A straight forward book on adoption.
As an adoptee, there are many questions and emotions that one is often too scared to ask or express. Lifton goes beyond the "taboo" of adoption in this book not only with her own experiences, but also the experiences of others. In "Lost and Found", all aspects of adoption are discussed, from all views (adoptee, adoptive parent, birthparent). Reading this helped me understand my own feelings, and to better understand the feelings of my parents, and my birth mother.

If you read only one...this is it.
In my life, reunion wasn't reality until my life was my own-so I went about it with some organizational ability. Information and what to do with it was what I wanted and this gave me great help in that direction. Those triad members who believe their status hasn't affected their lives, just haven't figured it out yet. My adoption 50 years ago has colored every relationship since that first one that ended (physically) 3 weeks after my birth. In order to put together the pieces of 'why' I am....important parts needed to be found, so I set about looking. BJ Lifton helped with a compassion I hadn't found before her book. There are many emotions connected with searching-and finding-no matter how pleasant or how ugly-and one Can't anticipate many of them without some help. Help is within the pages of this one. The one piece of information-above all else-she taught me, was that my search was mine. I owned it and could choose to do it, or not, at my level of comfort. After reunion, boundaries need to be built, in order to protect that comfort. The book helped me start that so when the time came, I could hold back until I knew just how far I could go-how far I could allow the others to come. All in all, it was like having a big sister, walk through it with me. She's a good friend-even if she's not aware I'm out here! Thank you BJ!