Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #169113 in Books
• Published on: 2000-11
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Hardcover
• 405 pages

Customer Reviews

Know what you're getting into
I've just finished slogging through this book and I was very disappointed in it as it is tagged as the best book on "transracial" adoption available. The book is really very narrow and I found it almost totally useless in my wife's and my situation (we are adopting a child from Haiti). Looking at some of the other reviews, it appears that we weren't alone.

The book is the result of two families' experiences with adopting non-white children and their attempts at integrating them into their families. What comes through loud and clear in the book is that the author's were expecting that the children would come out perfectly because they were loved and wanted. The parents seemed to be very insulated from modern society and reluctant (or unable?) to talk to people of their childrens' cultures.

As a step parent to two partially South Asian boys already, I was appalled at the reactive nature of the families in the book rather than looking ahead and being prepared for developmental stages and cultural/race problems. I would have had a lot more confidence in it (and the authors) if they had explained what they had done to prepare for problems to sail through them as comfortably as possible (from both their perspectives as well as their children's).

The book is painfully white middle-America with virtually no discussion of living in a multi-cultural city. It repeats a lot of information that can be found and explained better in other child-rearing books. For my wife and I (who live in a large very multi-cultural city and already have children), we found the material on Black hair care to be the most useful part of the book.

Having said all this, "Inside Transracial Adoption" is probably the best book available on the subject. This is unfortunate because I do not believe that it is anywhere as good as it should be.

Before buying a copy, I suggest that you sit down with it and make sure that it is appropriate for your situation and family. Otherwise you'll end up like I did, skimming through the book looking for something that made me feel like I was justified in buying it.

Negative, Overgeneralized, Poorly Written
I only read through the first third of the book before I had to give up on it. Often the authors overgeneralize - they take a statement made to them by one person of color and then say that all people of color feel the same way. That's not only counterproductive, it borders on perpetuating racism.

They have a very negative mindset that I find to be discouraging. My husband and I are considering transracial adoption of an older child; if I continue to read this book, I am certain they would talk me out of it.

Plus, I find this book to be very poorly written. It lacks any coherent organization. This book is in desperate need of an editor. Even if you agree with their approach to the issues, the typos, poor grammar and lack of structure will certainly make it difficult to follow their thought process. Unless James Joyce's stream of consciousness writing style is appealing to you, you will not enjoy the way the authors jump topics every other paragraph.

There are much better books dealing with these issues available. The only redeeming quality of this book is the quotes from children and adults who were raised in multiracial families.

Race does matter
When we started our family by adopting our son, we were very naive about the racial issue of being African-American in the U.S. We, both white, thought that raising our African-American child multi-culturally would be the answer. Then we read this book. It opened our eyes to the reality of being of color in this country. If our son was raised by us on an island without anyone else, things would be different. But here we are, in the U.S., barely a generation away from Jim Crow laws. This book gives useful tools and knowledge to be realistic about parenting a child of color. But the most important message of this book is: transracial adoptive parents are pioneers and we share a respect for difference and an appreciation for diversity that are models for all people and all communities.

It does not discourage people from adopting transracially, on the contrary. It gives you a reality check on what is ahead.

I do understand that some people might be offended by this book. To fully appreciate this book you have to be aware of your white privileges. Only then can you appreciate the clarity and honesty of both authors.

I have since then met the 2 authors. They are truly impressive and models for our society.