Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #19029 in Books
• Published on: 2002-05
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Hardcover
• 391 pages

Amazon.com Review
Proper attachment is the most fundamental issue in a successful adoption, but what exactly does the term mean? Attaching in Adoption answers that question thoroughly, and it provides solutions to a variety of specific attachment problems.

Along with technical explanations of challenges such as self-esteem, childhood grief, and limit-testing, the book includes a tremendous number of personal vignettes illustrating attachment-related situations. Parents who are convinced that only their child has ever behaved a certain way are sure to take comfort in these stories; not only do they include kids from all backgrounds and age groups, but each has an ultimately happy ending. The emotional health of the whole family is also paramount according to the book--with plenty of rest and "alone time," caregivers are more likely to be emotionally available when they are most needed.

Because Attaching in Adoption focuses on special needs, families who are coming together through foster programs, at later ages, or across cultural lines will find it especially helpful. Both psychologically detailed and straightforwardly helpful, it can be of equal benefit to counselors and parents alike. --Jill Lightner

From Publishers Weekly
Gray, a clinical social worker specializing in attachment, grief and trauma, has penned a comprehensive guidebook for adoptive parents, taking an in-depth look at how children and families adjust. The author notes that many of today's adoptions involve older children who may have been abused or neglected, or who may have spent years in institutions or various foster situations; due to their past experiences these children may have difficulty attaching to their adoptive parents. Explaining that attachment forms the template for future adult relationships, Gray stresses how important it is for adoptive parents to be patient in forging this new bond. She advises creating a high structure/ high nurture environment for the child, and instructs parents to find out about their child's background. The book covers many issues, including cross-cultural and interracial adoption, religious concerns and other complications for attaching, such as ADHD and learning disabilities. Gray also includes a detailed exploration of developmental delays common in kids who have been adopted later in life. While the book is densely written, it will nevertheless be invaluable for adoptive parents. Gray compassionately helps readers form realistic expectations, while offering a myriad of suggestions for families and children striving to form lasting, loving relationships.
Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

Customer Reviews

Outstanding-- again and again and agian
As the mother of two children adopted from Eastern Europe, and having read stacks and stacks of books on adoption and parenting children with attachment disorder, I can honestly say this one was the most helpful. My children were both 2 at adoption and are now both 11. We have weathered suicide attempts and many other serious mental and emotional problems, including a long-term psychiatric hospitalization, and still, when I have a question about my children's attachment development and what I can do to help, this is the book to which I turn. I only wish every teacher and professional that works with my children could/would also read this book.

Too Clinical
You can tell this book is written by a professional therapist. I was looking for some straight-forward, basic help. This book did not do the trick. By the time you filter through her theraputic "mumble-jumble", you are only left with s thimble full of helpful advise. It was not worth my time or money. Back to the drawing board!

Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today's Parents
I just wish I had had this book 2 years ago when I started as a foster parent. Yes it is mostly for adoption but I think it would have helped me tremdously.