Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #327256 in Books
• Published on: 1984-12-30
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback

Customer Reviews

Good book wonderful author!
This is a really good book. The author is awesome. Too bad he didn't right more books!

To Guarendi, discipline = punishment only
This book was given to me, so I read through it and quickly realized it was not for my husband and I. Our personal philosophy is that discipline means "instruction" or "training," which doesn't necessarily have to be synonymous with "punishment." Only once in Guarendi's book did I see the word discipline used to mean "self-control;" the other times, the word was used as a synonym for punishment -- why not just say "punish" instead?

I was especially disturbed by his "rules for a fair fight" with regard to sibling squabbles. Basically, punish your kids for telling you about a problem (that's "tattling"), punish all kids involved in a squabble equally...unless they can keep their discord out of your hearing range, in which case you will ignore it. My parents used the same "technique" and my sister and I learned to fight, threaten and manipulate to "resolve" conflict. We also learned that starting a fight was a great way to "punish" each other (as long as we didn't mind getting some ourselves) since mom/dad would swoop in and mete out punishment to all. How are children supposed to learn how to reach resolution and compromise if their parents do not teach them?

For parents who take a primarily punitive approach to discipline, this book will give you confidence in your methods. For those who think teaching discipline means teaching (and modeling) self-control and who want to guide their children to respect others and resolve conflict by practicing making good choices, I'd recommend checking out Dr. Becky Bailey's Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline: The 7 Basic Skills for Turning Conflict into Cooperation.

Full of common sense
I became familiar with Dr. Guarendi through several mothering and homeschooling books....he's great. The aspect that struck me as most interesting is how many of the "experts" give us advice that actually produces the problems we wish to avoid! And he doesn't just say this....you get real-life experiences that just about anyone can relate to. I was nodding my head all the way through, realizing I had seen such things time and again in the past. As with his book "Discipline That Lasts a Lifetime", Dr. Guarendi shows that the only thing you really need in parenting is plain old common sense.