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Losing My Mind : An Intimate Look at Life with Alzheimer's

Losing My Mind : An Intimate Look at Life with Alzheimer's
By Thomas DeBaggio

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Product Description

"We are foolish, those of us who think we can escape the traps of aging," writes Tom DeBaggio. "I was one of them, dreaming of a perfect and healthy old age....Now, at fifty-eight, I realize the foolishness of my dreams as I watch my brain self-destruct from Alzheimer's." Losing My Mind is DeBaggio's extraordinary account of his early onset Alzheimer's, a disease that "silently hollows the brain" and slowly "gobbles memory and destroys life." But with DeBaggio's curse came an unexpected blessing: the ability to chart the mechanics and musings of his failing mind.

Whether describing the happy days of his youth or lamenting over the burden his disease has placed upon his loved ones, DeBaggio manages to inspire the reader with his ability to function, to think, and ultimately to survive. By turns an autobiography, a medical history, and a book of meditations, Losing My Mind is a testament to the splendor of memory and a triumphant celebration of the human spirit.


Product Details

  • Amazon Sales Rank: #167693 in Books
  • Published on: 2003-03-04
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Binding: Paperback
  • 224 pages

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Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review
This first-person account of Alzheimer's ties several powerful stories together. Losing My Mind blends personal history with the fear and pain of developing the disease at the age of 57; it is both a sadly fascinating account of Alzheimer's progression and an attempt for the writer to remember his past before it is gone for good.

While his history is recounted in chronological order, these memories--of his childhood; marriage to his wife, Joyce; their years in writing and politics; his passion for herbs and the growing of a successful business--are interspersed with unrelated musings on everything from his cat's sudden deafness to losing his wallet. Clips from articles on Alzheimer's research are sprinkled around, and statistics like the $174,000 that a patient spends on the disease over a lifetime are sobering. Throughout the book, he clearly speaks of his diagnosis as a "sentence"; the lack of a cure is dwelt on in many sections, and a story about an accidental overdose of his prescriptions is particularly grim.

This is not a book that supplies any "power of positive thinking" messages, but instead shows the daily struggle of a man coming to terms with a terrible disease. Poignant and thoughtful, DeBaggio's life will hold meaning for anyone who has been touched by Alzheimer's. --Jill Lightner

From Publishers Weekly
"I have a clear sense of history, I just don't know whether it is mine," writes DeBaggio in this moving and unusual memoir. The author, who has previously written about his gardening business (Growing Herbs from Seed, Cutting and Root), documents his mental deterioration from Alzheimer's. Diagnosed with the disease in 1999 at the age of 57, DeBaggio undertook this project in order to increase awareness of this devastating illness from a patient's point of view. He describes how his gradual loss of memory has impacted his life. For example, after he became confused about how to get to his niece's house, he realized he had to give up driving a car. The increased loss of language has been extremely difficult for a man who once worked as a journalist and a freelance writer. Interspersed throughout the narrative are DeBaggio's recollections of his childhood events that may soon be lost to him. He also describes the disease's negative effect on his wife and grown son. Although DeBaggio provides information on the medical advances that are being made to treat this disease, it is clear that a breakthrough will come too late for him. With this rare first-person account, DeBaggio has made a significant contribution to literature on an illness that currently affects four million Americans.

Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal
In 1999, when he was 57 years old, DeBaggio was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's disease. Shortly thereafter, he began this moving memoir. A former journalist, professional gardener, and author of two gardening books, DeBaggio was determined to record the course of his illness "to break through the sense of shame and silence [that] Alzheimer's has engendered and to tell the world what it is like." He recounts stories from his past, daily life since his diagnosis, and its effect on his wife and son, along with summaries of scientific information about Alzheimer's gleaned from the professional literature. Interspersed with that information are his almost epigrammatic musings on the loneliness, fear, anger, and even puzzlement engendered by this "evil disease that sleeps on the edge of [his] consciousness." DeBaggio soon discovered that Alzheimer's freed him to "write seriously and well." Truly, the act of remembering and writing gave purpose to his days when he could no longer work in his greenhouses. However, finding the words to express himself eventually became "insurmountable," and his ability to perform everyday tasks gradually diminished; he found himself struggling to finish the book before "there [was] no memory left." DeBaggio's vivid descriptions of changes in memory and thought patterns, as well as his nocturnal visual hallucinations, illuminate this harrowing disease as few other first-person accounts have. Highly recommended. [Thanks to medications, the author is doing fairly well. Ed.] Karen McNally Bensing, Benjamin Rose Inst. Lib., Clevelan.
- Karen McNally Bensing, Benjamin Rose Inst. Lib., Cleveland
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.


Customer Reviews

Yes, There's a thinking Human inside an Alzheimer Diagnosis5
As a reader who has progressed from mild to moderate Alzheimer's [ALZ aka CRS]since January, 2002; and who is acutely aware of his own Rapid Onset in a Late Onset prognosis, I begged my Caregiver to order this for me asap, which she did. My own CRS has caused me to become unable to view complicated movies such as "Iris" and "Godsford Park" or multilayered television such as "West Wing" or "CSI." Similarly, the ability to complete reading a book more than 3 or 4 pages at a time has departed, never to return. But, like when I received "The Forgetting" by Shenk, I was able to read this 207 page saga, cover to cover, in less than a single 24 hour time span, aka "one day". My window of clarity, which happens less than once a quarter, gave me the grace to assimilate deBaggio's message, just as I was able to do before I became an Emeritus Professor in 1993.

The writing by DeBaggio is superb, his poetry shines on every page! And he has been blessed with outsanding collaborators and editors who polished his rough diamond into the superb blue white gem which "Losing My Mind" is. De Baggio does NOT record a descent to madness, but rather an ascent into a Mount Carmel of shining sanity, despite his testimony to the contrary. The literature of ALZ is overwhelmed with desciptions, diagnoses,and understandings for/of the saintly Caregivers and facilitators who guide our descent into a Dante inferno. BUT, there is next to nothing wherein the person diagnosed with Alzheimer's tells us what is going on inside their crania. "Speaking with Alzheimer's" and "Into the Labyrinth [out-of-print]" are two other exceptions.

Once we are diagnosed, it is as if we no longer are sentient human beings, capable of intellectual cognition. Our ability to convery our intelligence and meanings to others does deteriorate rapidly, particulary with aphasia, but the human entity is still there and functioning even though the ability to respond has vanished: i.e. a CRSer hears and understands all that is said in his/her presence, even though the ALZer cannot communicate that understanding.
Inspired by DeBaggio, I, too, have commenced a Journal of sorts, with the hope of telling others exactly what my sensations are as my hippocampus turns into Gorgonzola. {In my own situation, I have rewired my brain to eliminate frustration over a lack of word recall, and working memory recall, with the help of positive reinforcement, Qi Gong Nirvana state deep meditation, Vitamin B6, B12,E, and Aricet. Thus I have forced a window of clarity to write this critique, and DeBaggio has given this clinically diagnosed unipolar Depressive and CRSer hope that he can aid others before I am unable to lift my head or swallow. Like DeBaggio, the light at the end of my tunnel is an ALZ locomotive, at full speed, headed towards my demise, yet like him, I hope I can locate an agent, collaborator, and editor, so that my own Pilgrim's Progress will be a gift to my seven children and eleven grandchildren, {I include Andrew!}, when the words jumble and chaos reigns supreme, as it already has commenced.
Thank you very much Thomas, for your Augustinian "Confession!" I wish all of us fellow travelors, a "Safe Return."

POIGNANT, TOUCHING AND EXTREMELY MOVING5
There is nothing so sad as to see a person who was once consumed with a passion for life, abundant with wisdom and intellect, active, alert and filled with a wealth of personal stories, overcome with Alzheimer's. It is a condition which has overwhelming effects not only for the individual afflicted with the disease, but for family and friends as well.

Few individuals with Alzheimer's write a book about their progressive loss of memory and the associated conditions that go with Alzheimer's. Unless, you personally know someone with the disease, it is difficult to understand how it affects one's social life, their loss of verbal communication skills and their thought process. Debaggio gives reader an inside view and clearer understanding from a patient's perspective of what it is like to live with this devastating disease on a daily basis. The author's courage and strength in the face of adversity will touch readers to their very core. Debaggio deserves a standing ovation for having the heart and spirit to write such a poignant book on the subject, from a point of view only one afflicted with the disease could fully and realistically explain.

Opening Our Eyes5
"Losing My Mind" is a well-written book authored by an ex-journalist gone herb-grower who is diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's disease at the age of fifty-seven in 1999. The book is a personal account of one man's struggle with dementia accompanied by an autobiography. Along with these two themes, Mr. DeBaggio inserts clippings from his own research on the disease in every few pages.
This is a great read for anyone who would like to venture into the mind of someone suffering from Alzheimer's. But be warned, the book does not contain any sparks of hope or messages of positive thinking. Readers are likely to become sad and feel slightly depressed from this book that is probably meant to "share some grief." The book is a sincere , raw and from the heart look at a frightening disease that will most likely affect even more Americans as the "Baby-boomer" generation embarks on its golden years.
This book is a must for anyone who has a family member diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. It provides insight into the moods, fears and anger of those suffering from it; this is especially important for families who have trouble getting their loved ones to open up and share what they're going through.
I salute Mr. DeBaggio for having the courage to share his inner-most feelings with all those interested in learning more about this insidious disease. May his fear abate and his arms embrace the love that his family is giving him.