Product Description

THE #1 NATIONAL BESTSELLER

What's love got to do with it in the meantime?

You know where you want to be, but you have no clue how to get there. You know exactly what you want in life, but what you want is nowhere in sight. Perhaps your vision is unclear, your purpose still undefined. On top of it all, your relationships, particularly your romantic relationships, are failing. If these scenarios feel familiar way down in the deepest part of your gut -- then you, my dear, are smack dab in the middle of the meantime.

Every living being wants to experience the light of love. The problem is that our windows are dirty! The windows of our hearts and minds are streaked with past pains and hurts, past memories and disappointments. In this book, Iyanla Vanzant teaches us how to do our mental housekeeping so that we can clean the windows, floors, walls, closets, and corners of our minds. If we do a good job, our spirits will shine bringing in the light of true love and happiness.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #17868 in Books
• Published on: 1999-09-14
• Released on: 1999-09-28
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 326 pages

Features

• ISBN13: 9780684848068
• Condition: NEW
• Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.
• Click here to view our Condition Guide and Shipping Prices

Amazon.com Review
Many listeners will recognize relationship fairy-godmother Iyanla Vanzant's positively charged style from her frequent appearances on Oprah®. She infuses this reading of her own book with the cadences of a revival preacher on a Sunday morning. (It's no surprise, then, to find "ordained minister" listed in her biography.) Using housecleaning as her central analogy, she urges listeners to clean out their heads and souls if they want to be prepared for real love. Using anecdotes from her own life and those of others, she outlines how personal responsibility and respect for oneself can clean the attic, clearing the way for long, healthy relationships. (Running time: 2 hours, 2 cassettes) --Kimberly Heinrichs

From Library Journal
Self-help counselor Vanzant talks about creative and honest use of the "meantime" between relationships to help women (and men) avoid repeating unproductive behaviors of the past. She uses the metaphor of a house, starting in the basement with "willingness" and acknowledging that one has a problem. Next is the first floor, to identify the nature of the problem. On the second floor is trust, what to do about the problem. Finally, on the third floor, one "learns how to do what you know." That is, one possesses the inner resources to overcome the tendency to repeat past responses to situations. Vanzant reads this abridgment of her work with a tone that conveys empathy and no-nonsense, this-is-good-for-you advice. For self-help collections in public libraries.ANann Blaine Hilyard, Lake Villa Dist. Lib., IL
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Booklist
Vanzant has written another powerful book on positive thinking. As one of the foremost female inspirational authors--her books include Acts of Faith (1993) and The Value in the Valley (1995), she inspires women to deal with themselves as they search for their soul mate. This empowering book about relationships details how the pursuit of love is often unpleasant. Vanzant focuses on dispelling storybook fantasies about love and relationships in order to discover one's self. Her premise is based on the adage that you cannot love someone else until you know and love yourself. The steps for self-reflection that are outlined begin with enjoying and learning from the "meantime," that period of time between seeking love and finding love. Vanzant presents a series of survival tidbits for the African American woman that are well worth following. Lillian Lewis

Customer Reviews

An Opportunity to Heal Ourselves
Reading this book was the best thing I've done for myself in years. As a man reeling from ANOTHER extremely painful breakup, I was desperate for anything to sooth the pain. Having read LOTS of self-help books, I can say with some justification that this is the most spiritual, calming, healing guide to relationships that I've ever encountered. Like a cold compress on a fevered brow, I could always find relief and peace by reading this book, even at 3:00 in the morning.

Recommended to me by a spiritually advanced friend, I found it to be the only thing that calmed me down, stopped my heart from racing, eliminated the panic attacks, and made me feel whole again. It provides a loving, gentle nudge in the direction of individual wholeness, completeness, and understanding of what we've all done wrong in relationships. More importantly, it shows us what we can do to PREVENT these disasters in the future. The key, of course, is self-love. Like a gentle mother guiding her unruly offspring, Ayanla lovingly puts us back on the right path without making us feel stupid, unworthy, or hopelessly inept at love. Her most powerful contribution is the concept that no matter how bad our partner and the relationship, it is ALWAYS ONLY ABOUT US!

This book provides a roadmap to relationship success, if only we make the time for ourselves to uncover our own issues and work to correct them. I've read the book three times in a row, including highlighting, underlining, and dog-earring the pages. This is like a User's Guide to love. Don't get caught without it. Please savor this book. Race through it the first time, if you must, but read it slowly again to really understand what she is trying to teach us. Vanzant should get the Nobel Prize for this one.

Perfect for understanding life
Excellent book for anyone who has not become their "ideal self" yet. This book reads like an old friend and earnestly works toward achieving what you truly want in life.... a better sense of self worth. It teaches that loving yourself comes first. Although this premise is not new, the book shows common occurances that we do not recognize immediately as disrespectful ourselves. This book does not talk down to the reader nor is it flooded with psychobabble.

Pretending that everything is just fine!
Iyanla's book was painfully true and exact! It wasn't until I stopped denying that I had accepted things in my life - unsatisfying career, dead end relationships, negative relationships - that were taking me away from the "true self", that I came to appreciate that I needed to hear the truth from someone who didn't care if my feelings were hurt. From someone who was not judgemental and insensitive. I beleive as people, we are in denial about alot of things in our lives. And maybe we are too proud to admit this to others, but always be true to yourself. That is the only way a change can come about for the better. At the end of the day, when there are no more eyes to look into and fake smile, when you are weary of saying "I'm doing great!", when actually, you are so unsure about yourself and how you feel, you really have no clue about how you really feel! This book isn't scholarly! You don't need your doctorate degree to relate. It's conversational! It's down to earth! It's like listening on the other end of the phone, while your Aunt's talk! It's a must read.