Product Description

Love takes work, but, when it comes to relationships, it pays to work smarter. This book, a revised and updated edition of a therapist-recommended classic, shows you how to work smarter in your relationship. This book helps you improve communication, cope better with problems, and resolve conflicts in healthy and creative ways. Each chapter teaches an essential skill, based on cognitive behavioral therapy, which can lead to greater happiness and deeper intimacy.

New in this edition is a chapter on using acceptance skills, developed from the revolutionary new acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), which help you learn to accept your partner without judgment and structure your relationship based on a consciously chosen set of core values.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #15781 in Books
• Published on: 2006-12
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 316 pages

Features

• ISBN13: 9781572244818
• Condition: NEW
• Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.
• Click here to view our Condition Guide and Shipping Prices

From the Publisher
This revised and expanded edition of the classic relationship-skills book offers couples a comprehensive approach to better communication, greater intimacy, and deeper commitment. The new edition includes way to use acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) principles for better conflict management.

About the Author
Matthew McKay, Ph.D., is a professor at the Wright Institute in Berkeley, CA. He is the author and coauthor of more than twenty-five books, including The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook, Thoughts and Feelings, Messages, When Anger Hurts, Self-Esteem and The Self-Esteem Guided Journal.

Patrick Fanning is a professional writer in the mental health field and the founder of a men’s support group in Northern California.

Kim Paleg, Ph.D., is a practicing clinical psychologist specializing in couples and family therapy.

Customer Reviews

Excellent book for improving communication with your partner
"Sigmund told his longtime girlfriend Robin that he was willing to marry her if she would do 135 sit-ups a day to tighten her stomach muscles, allow him to buy her a more stylish wardrobe, read fewer novels so she could pay more attention to him...." Not all relationships start off this precariously. The authors state "Relationships can gradually run down. Early pleasures become commonplace and boring. Minor flaws become major flaws. Charming eccentricities become irritating."
Couple Skills is an excellent source for learning essential communication skills. If you can sidestep some erroneous theoretical explanations (e.g., behaviorist or systems theory explanations and occasional moral relativism), you can gain lifetime skills from this book. It includes realistic examples and useful exercises in each of its four sections: basic communication skills, advanced skills, managing anger and conflict, and understanding and changing what goes wrong.
You will learn to identify barriers to active listening (e.g., sparring, derailing, placating, mindreading, selective attention, rehearsing your response). You will also learn to give feedback that is immediate, honest and supportive rather than brutal (or camouflaged). You will learn how to identify and express your needs. Did your parents prohibit the expression of anger? ...or of pride? Learn how to overcome ingrained repression of your genuine feelings.
The authors emphasize "clean communication" (i.e., how to give whole messages, not half-truths or disguised messages). They cover negotiation skills including seven classic methods of compromise. The section on anger and conflict helps you identify aversive strategies such as threatening to leave, guilt-tripping, derailing the conversation, belittling or blaming. The authors offer an alternative "key attitude" to help you deal with inevitable conflicts. They cover methods of assertively responding to criticism. As stated in this excellent book, "...(A)ssertive behavior allows you to stand up for your rights, express personal likes and dislikes, accept compliments comfortably, disagree with someone openly, and say no." Couple Skills can help strengthen, improve or rescue your relationship.

Great book for all couples!
This book offers suggestions and advice from a "panel" of authors. They have insightful techniques and point out how many times so many problems that can result in divorce or breakups can be attributed to a lack of communication. I highly recommend reading this book if you are single or involved, it's useful for everyone.

Excellent for couples and couples' therapists
This is my favorite couples' therapy book. Not only do I use it constantly when I work with couples, but I've recommended and shared it with my interns and with psychiatric residents who are working with couples for the first time. Practical and down-to-earth, it provides useful examples and exercises for couples, both new and long-term. I highly recommend it.