Product Description

The macho society that held John Wayne as a role model has created an emotional wasteland where 80 percent of men are unable to accurately express their feelings, and that same percentage feel estranged from their fathers. The stifled male, disconnected and out of touch, fills the void with apathy or anger, and the toll is staggering: short, unhealthy lives, ruined relationships, and damaged children. This destructive behavior repeats itself in the next generation as the sins of the father continue the cycle.

In Becoming the Kind Father, Calvin Sandborn aims to break that cycle. His intensely personal story is heart-searing and inspirational. Brought up to fear his father's alcohol-fueled fury and hateful put-downs, the author buried his feelings and fine-tuned his own rage. His father's early death and the collapse of the author's marriage provided catalysts for change.

Interspersing clever literary references with painful childhood memories, intense self-examination, and astute observations, Sandborn provides well-researched psychological findings and self-help tips, including how to:

Identify and share feelings
Treat yourself as a kind father would
Form trusting male friendships
Break the anger habit
Forgive the world and yourself

This guide offers helpful insight for the millions of men who want to become kinder human beings. A must-read for every woman who loves an angry or emotionally distant man.

Calvin Sandborn is a journalist, author, and environmental lawyer who currently supervises the University of Victoria Environmental Law Clinic. He is also a kind father and grandfather.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #691446 in Books
• Published on: 2007-04-01
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 176 pages

About the Author
Calvin Sandborn is the Legal Director of the Environmental Law Clinic at the University of Victoria's Faculty of Law in British Columbia. A well-known free-lance journalist, he has published widely in Canadian newspapers and magazines, and has authored a number of books. He is a member of a Victoria men's group and the father of three.

Customer Reviews

A life-affirming call for kindness and compassion
This book is a passionate, heart-felt call for an expression of manhood that is open to feeling one's feelings, and being kind and gentle to oneself rather than being harsh and critical. The author's message is a life-saving one and every man who has issues with anger and wants to change will find encouragement in the chapter of the book dealing with anger issues. I would love to have a mentor like Calvin Sandborn to assist me in becoming a kind father to myself. I highly recommend this book!

I was pleasantly surprised
I was really touched, softly, by this book. The author has a clear understanding of what a kind father really is and what he does. It is clear this attorney has a deep understanding of cognitive behavioral therapy and can write about it in ways that are easy to understand and motivational to apply.

For men who are religious, it is easy to convert one line of his thinking to Deity in a very effective way. For those not religious, they won't notice or shouldn't care.

There are a lot of mothers and grandparents out there who should buy this book for the father's of their children and grandchildren if they want those fathers to soften.

The reality of the stories, attitudes and circumstances make the book totally creditable.

quick read but lessons for a lifetime...
A soul baring, inspiring story of one man's search to battle the rage within and become a better father in the process. After losing all that he cherished in the world Calvin Sandborn examines himself and the demons that led him to losing his wife and being seperated from his kids. It is a courageous look at oneself and the world he had created for himself. A quick read of a book but lessons in here that will last a lifetime. I found it especially poignant.