Product Description

A hilariously irreverent and startlingly insightful astrology guide for lesbians.

Jill Dearman is a breakthrough astrologer for our time. No one has approached the stars with her sass and class ever before! Her guide to astrology for lesbians is lively, revealing--and naughty!

Sections include: in life, in bed, how to seduce her, doing her and dating her, how to last over the long haul, how to get rid of her, and the three faces of each sign.

How to get rid of an Aquarius woman: Ms. Aquarius will pack her bags soon after you start invading her personal space and drowning her in too much nonstop and irrational cemotion. Ms. Aquarius hates to feel trapped, so if you slowly take away all her freedoms, you will be watching her walk out the door faster than you can sing "This is the dawning of the..."

The Cancer woman is intensely emotiona...and her moods change with the tides. Not that you can every completely figure her out. Would you dare to assume you could understand the sea or fully absorb or comprehend a beautiful piece of music? Or course not, you silly lesbian. So don't patronize this lovely woman.

But getting rid of a Cancer woman: Please don't be a cad and pull off the old "I'm going out for a pack of cigarettes (or a bag of Kitty Litter)" and never come back routine. She'll have your mother sitting with her and holding her hand, worrying, before you've made it past the border.

And a complete compatibility profile of each astrological combination:

Take Aries and Cancer: The best par? They can be fiercely loyal and protective of each other. The worst part? They instinctively know how to hurt each other's feelings and often do, in a most brutal way. Ms. Aries, ruled by fire strikes quickly and forcefully and without thinking. "Don't each that doughnut! It'll make you fat!" Ms Cancer, ruled by water, knows how to create a mood of subtle emotional torture. "I don't feel like being touched...No, I don't want to be alone. Can't we just sit together in the same room and not talk and not touch and not make such a big deal about it?"

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #649957 in Books
• Published on: 1998-11-15
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 224 pages

Amazon.com Review
Should you worship the feet of your Pisces lover, or would the classic lesbian backrub be more arousing? Does the Sapphic Sagittarius really love you, or will she drop you for voracious Virgo? Jill Dearman's new astrological guide to lesbian love (she's also penned a companion volume for men) promises to enlighten readers about the true nature and desires of the lovely women in our lives. Leo likes a luxurious coupling, for instance, while Aries will do it anywhere. Sagittarius is into contorted sexual postures. Capricorn is obsessed with work. In the second half of the book, Dearman describes the pleasures and pitfalls of each astrological pairing, from the "body talk" when Aries meets Aries to the "cheating hearts" of a double-Pisces affair. Plotting your love life by the stars seems like high-risk behavior, but maybe that's the cynical Scorpio in me talking. --Regina Marler

About the Author
Jill Dearman as been a fascinated student of the signs and planets since childhood. She has written professionally about astrology for numerous publications since 1990. The study of the stars led her to the study of human nature, and she has worked volunteer or part time as an HIV counselor throughout the 1990s.

She is also a playwright, screenwriter, and filmmaker, with many lurid credits to her name. Her short film The Great Bravura, a magician's tale, has been screened at several festivals, and she is currently developing a feature-length version of the story, which she hopes to film in the twenty-first century.

She spins her web in New York city, but in her frequent moments of pomposity views herself as a "citizen of the world.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
How to get rid of an Aquarius woman: Ms. Aquarius will pack her bags soon after you start invading her personal space and drowning her in too much nonstop and irrational, illogical emotion. Ms. Aquarius hates to feel trapped, so if you slowly take away all her freedoms, you will be watching her walk out the door faster than you can sing, "This is the dawning of the..."

The Cancer woman is intensely emotional...and her moods change with the tides. Not that you can ever completely figure her out. Would you dare to assume you could understand the sea or fully absorb or comprehend a beautiful piece of music? Of course not, you silly lesbian. So don't patronize this lovely woman.

But getting rid of a Cancer woman: Please don't be a cad and pull the old "I'm going out for a pack of cigarettes (or a bag of Kitty Litter)" and never come back routine. She'll have your mother sitting with her and holding her hand, worrying, before you've made it past the border.

Customer Reviews

This Book is the Cat's Meow!
When I heard that Jill Dearman -- the Paul Lynde of astrologers -- had published queer guide books for men and women, I rushed out and bought both versions. (No, I'm not planning a sex change -- I'm a modern lesbian with lots of gay male friends who I know could benefit from Jill's dicey astrological insights.) As my partner and I raced through our respective and collective sections (me, Cancer; her, Aquarius), we found ourselves laughing out loud, both at how Ms. Dearman had pegged us from afar and her meow-cat way of putting it. Either Jill Dearman has an astrological window into our souls or a mirror pointed up our skirts, and I'm not sure which vision scares me, or delights me, most. These books are as much a delight read out loud at dinner parties as they are in the privacy of your own bedroom. Now that I know the basics of my astrological personality (and that of my beloved), I can't wait to hear further from the Diva Dearman on the more complex astrological points of me and my sign. In the meantime, I'm happy to give a high recommendation to these hysterical books from that starry-eyed sooth-sayer of the human soul, Madame Dearman.

Good Guide ... works like a dream!
I thought this would be a good gag gift for a friend. However, when I started reading about my sign, I quickly ran out and bought a different gift. This book is smartly written and works. AMiles in ATL

Awesome
This book is great. It is fun to read with someone you are interested in dating!