Product Description

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #11155 in Books
• Published on: 2004-05-01
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 208 pages

Features

• ISBN13: 9781881273103
• Condition: NEW
• Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.
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About the Author
GARY CHAPMAN is the author of the New York Times bestselling The Five Love Languages book series. He is the director of Marriage and Family Life Consultants, Inc., and travels around the world presenting seminars. Gary's radio program airs on more than 100 stations. For more information, visit (www.garychapman.org.)

From AudioFile
Married people experience love most strongly through five love languages--quality time, words of encouragement, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. With thoughtfulness and a gee-whiz tone that works well in all his audios, Gary Chapman aims his insights at men who want more from marriage, as well as those who have more to give. He's a humble teacher, describing the five languages with satisfying examples from his counseling practice and framing his ideas as suggestions. Without making light of the work a marriage requires, he'll convince most men that, if they love their wives, they can easily express it in ways that can make a marriage truly special for everybody. T.W. © AudioFile 2006, Portland, Maine-- Copyright © AudioFile, Portland, Maine

Customer Reviews

Simply Informative
I enjoyed this book on many levels. It presented such an easy concept, yet very hard to identify if untrained. I have learned how to identify what actions to help those around me feel loved by me. It helps to learn the love languages so that you aren't putting out alot unrealized effort to show love that isn't recognized as so. I have noticed a difference in the response of my children, and my wife. I have also been able to identify my own love language and in turn have been able to express my desire to my wife. This book is a good, informative, and thought provoking read.

A Love Cook Book!
Gary Chapman's "The Five Love Languages" was a really sincere and instructive read. Chapman believes that all people feel and receive love in one of five ways, and that if you decode your partner's "love language" - for example, your signifcant other might be more beholden to compliments rather than gifts, or help with chores, etc. - that by communicating in that language, you can reach him/her with your love. Reading Chapman's book, therefore, has the feel of a cook book, with simple recipes for enhancing your relationship with your loved one.

The book reminded me of my favorite relationship book How To Create a Magical Relationship, by Ariel and Shya Kane. Both books emphasize many of the same key points, such as the importance of honesty and true listening. The Kanes, however, feel no need for general decoding of your partners' needs. Rather, these authors support the notion that being in the moment is all that's necessary to love your partner fully.

Your marriage doesn't need to be in trouble to read this book
I've been happily married for over a quarter century. My husband is my best friend, as well as business partner, lover, and the person I giggle with most often. We've encountered a lot of people who wonder how we are still in love, while their relationships failed, or when they found themselves in well-upholstered traps. And the truth is that I don't really know what we've done differently; the only thing I can say is that we make it safe to communicate with one another. Surely, there's more to it than that?

I admit I was intruiged; the author of this book says that we each express (and need) love in one of five ways: quality time, acts of service, gifts, physical touch, and words of affirmation. While I find the (over?) simplification a little *TOO* simple (there's one anecdote that could as easily have come out of the Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus book), I also think there's a bunch of truth in his "five love languages."

Based on Chapman's definitions, my husband and I are motivated by the same "love language." That probably makes it easier for us to make each other happy; it's easy for me to give based on what I want to get. (I.e. I'd love it if he made me a cup of tea when I have a cold, so I tend to make him a cup of tea. In our case, that works. Someone else, who feels most loved with Gifts, would be more cheered by finding a rose on his pillow.)

I also see how some relationships I've observed (my parents, for instance) had built-in friction because they wanted different things -- one wanted to hear supportive words, and the other wanted "acts of service."

So yeah, I can buy into this stuff. Not obsessively so, but it's another useful way to help us understand one another.

The Five Love Languages is a quick and easy read, and like a lot of such books there's a lot of repetition and plenty of anecdotal examples. (A friend once pointed out that most "relationship" and self-help books have the major message on the cover, usually in the title.) Some of the text is overkill, a bit, but not annoyingly so. It does stay interesting.

If you aren't a practicing Christian, you might be a little less thrilled with the book. While Chapman isn't heavy handed about the Jesus references, and I dare say they make his message palatable to Christians ("...I also had the feeling that if the experiment was going to get off the ground, it would be because of Ann's deep faith in God"), I sure didn't need to hear it. It never reached the fingernails-on-blackboard stage for me, but you might be more sensitive to such things. (Or, if you're Christian, it'll help you find a context for his message. I don't really think it's necessary, though.)

Overall, I'm glad I spent a couple of hours reading the book, and I see a few ways that I can put it to work. It's worth reading.