Product Description

Do you "zone out" if too much is going on? Are you energized by spending time alone? In meetings, do you need to be asked for your opinions and ideas? Do you tend to notice details that other people miss? Is your ideal celebration a small get-together, rather than a big party? Do you often feel like a tortoise surrounded by hares?

The good news is, you're an introvert. The better new is that by celebrating the inner strengths and uniqueness of being an "innie," The Introvert Advantage shows introverts, and the extroverts who love them, how to work with instead of against their temperament to enjoy a well-lived life. Covering relationships, parenting -- including parenting the introverted child -- socializing, and the workplace, here are coping strategies, tactics for managing energy, and hundreds of valuable tips for not only surviving but truly thriving in an extrovert world.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #4925 in Books
• Published on: 2002-02-01
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 330 pages

Review
"Filled with Aha! moments of recognition, Dr. Laney's book will help millions of introverts . . ." -- Paul D. Tieger, co-author of Do What You Are

"Its clear, step-by-step advice will help introverts recognize and capitalize on their unique strengths." -- Dr. Bernardo J. Carducci, author of Shyness: A Bold New Approach

About the Author
Dr. Marti Olsen Laney, is a marriage and family therapist. Marti has earned a doctorate degree in psychoanalysis, is an author, teacher and much sought-after public speaker (with a good amount of preparation time) on subjects close to her heart, such as the phenomena of introversion. She is in private practice in Calabasas, California.

Prior to becoming a psychotherapist, Marti was a librarian where, for five years, she donned clown outfits (and other get ups) and gave presentations and programs to children and adult patrons throughout the Inglewood Public Library System. She also developed management training programs and has trained employees at Rockwell International, First Interstate Bank and Ducommun, the oldest corporation in L.A. Marti has taught numerous classes, most recently at California State University, Northridge and the Institute of Contemporary Psychoanalysis. She gives workshops, seminars and presentations, usually wearing Groucho glasses.

Marti is an avid reader and a daily ink slinger. She ambles around the lake near her home listening to books on tape. Her hobby is decorating her very own playhouse, The Tickled Pink Cottage. She and Michael have a mixed marriage, an Innie and an Outie, who pull each other inward and outward, it's been a seesaw ride for 37 years. They also have mixed backgrounds in another way, Marti is Danish and Michael is Irish. They have two delightful married daughters. Tynna is married to Brian. Kristen is married to Gary. Her three grandchildren, who on the A. A. Milne Temperament Test rate as follows, Alicia is a Tigger, Kaitlin is a Tigger/Owl and Christopher is a Pooh. Marti's rating on the test is an Owl and Michael is a Tigger. It's very bouncy in their family forest.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Self-Assessment for Introverts

Take the test for introversion on a day when you are feeling relaxed and not stressed out. Pick a cozy nook where you won't be interrupted. Consider each statement in terms of what is generally true or false for you, not how you wish you were or how you are some of the time. Don't analyze or think too deeply about each statement. Your first impression is usually the best. For an outside view of yourself, it can be enlightening to have a partner or friend answer for you. Compare your results with your friend's score. If the two tallies differ, talk about both of your views.

Answer the following questions T or F, then add up your True answers and check the scoring at the end of the list to see if you're an introvert, fall in the middle of the continuum, or are an extrovert.

-- When I need to rest, I prefer to spend time along or with one or two close people rather than with a group.

-- When I work on projects, I like to have larger uninterrupted time periods rather than smaller chunks.

-- I sometimes rehearse things before speaking, occasionally writing notes for myself.

-- In general, I like to listen more than I like to talk.

-- People sometimes think I'm quiet, mysterious, aloof, or calm.

-- I like to share special occasion with just one person or a few close friends, rather than have big celebrations.

-- I usually need to think before I respond or speak.

-- I tend to notice details many people don't see.

-- If two people have just had a fight, I feel the tension in the air.

-- If I say I will do something, I almost always do it.

-- I feel anxious if I have a deadline or pressure to finish a project.

-- I can "zone out" if too much is going on.

-- I like to watch an activity for a while before I decide to join it.

-- I form lasting relationships.

-- I don't like to interrupt others; I don't like to be interrupted.

-- When I take in lots of information, it takes me a while to sort it out.

-- I don't like overstimulating environments. I can't imagine why folks want to go to horror movies or go on roller coasters.

-- I sometimes have strong reactions to smells, tastes, foods, weather, noises, etc.

-- I am creative and/or imaginative.

-- I feel drained after social situations, even when I enjoy myself.

-- I prefer to be introduced rather than to introduce others.

-- I can become grouchy if I'm around people or activities too long.

-- I often feel uncomfortable in new surroundings.

-- I like people to come to my home, but I don't like them to stay too long.

-- I often dread returning phone calls.

-- I find my mind sometimes goes blank when I meet people or when I am asked to speak unexpectedly.

-- I talk slowly or have gaps in my words, especially if I am tired or if I am trying to speak and think at once.

-- I don't think of casual acquaintances as friends.

-- I feel as if I can't show other people my work or ideas until they are fully formulated.

-- Other people may surprise me by thinking I am smarter than I think I am.

Add up the number of Trues. Then read the following to see where you fall.

20-29 True: Pretty darn introverted. As a result, it is extremely important for you to understand how to keep your energy flowing and how our brain processes information. You relate to life through your ideas, impressions, hopes and values. You are not at the mercy of your external environment. This book can help you use your inner knowledge and create your own path.

10-19 True: Somewhere in the middle. Like being ambidextrous, you are both introverted and extroverted. You may feel torn between needing to be alone and wanting to be out and about. So it's very helpful to notice when and how you consistently feel more energized. You judge yourself by your own thoughts and feelings and by the standards of other people. This gives you a broad view, but at times you may get caught up in seeing both sides of a situation and not know where you stand. It is important to learn to assess your temperament so you can maintain your energy and balance.

1-9 True: You are more extroverted. You judge yourself in the light of the values and reality of others. You work within the bounds of what exists to bring about change. As you reach midlife and your body slows down, you may surprise yourself by wanting to take a break from socializing or needing time to yourself and then not knowing what to do. You can develop techniques to help yourself remember what is best for you to do when you need solitude. To do this you will have to balance your extroverting skills by learning more introverting skills.

Customer Reviews

It Explains A LOT...
I checked this out of the library, because I suspected I was an introvert. The problem with being one is that you get a bad rap, like you're unsociable, awkward, etc. Marti Olsen Laney made me realize it's okay to be one, and that I was putting on a different personality than my "real" one in order to fit in. She also offers ways to cope with an extroverted world. That's why I bought this book. Introverts, unite!!

Enlightening, eye-opening, validating!
I got so much out of reading this book. I picked it up on a whim, wondering what the advantage of an introvert might be, suspecting that I was one. Goodness me, I had no idea I was so introverted, or how much of my life it really impacted. Now, all these little nonsensical things about myself throughout my life suddenly have an explanation, and more importantly I feel validated for being me! I got 26 out of 30 on the book's questionaire, so I can proudly call myself an introvert. Marti helped me understand also that, being left-brained, I'm quite happy living an introverted life, whereas my sister, a right-brained introvert, struggles with the limitations. It was also surprising to find that my husband is fairly extroverted and the relationships section has been really helpful for me to understand where he's coming from and how we can get along better.

If you even slightly suspect that you are an introvert I highly recommend reading this book. You will feel much better about yourself, even if you didn't feel badly to begin with!

Interesting
This is a pretty good book, especially the parts that talk about what goes on the brain. The rest is pretty lite reading but interesting.