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Taking Pot Shots At the Mainstream - Things I Can't Stand
By an Amazon.com customer
All the Right ReasonsAll the Right Reasons by Nickelback
Buy new: $9.99 / Used from: $5.00
The Pro-Tooled psuedo-grunge riffs, the sensitive-guy alternating with the sexy-beast thing that Chad Kroeger does. That permed hair. It disgusts me that this is played on rock radio. Shovel it to the pop stations where it belongs. When people tell me they like this, I feel like the last real human left in `Invasion of The Body Snatchers'.
The Sweet EscapeThe Sweet Escape by Gwen Stefani
Buy new: $12.99 / Used from: $2.49
I respected her when she was a musician. Now, she just looks, acts, and sings like some guy's trick who should be climbing out of an Escalade. And seriously, what's the deal with those two Shinjuku girls in her videos? Gimmie a break!
The Emancipation of MimiThe Emancipation of Mimi by Mariah Carey
Buy used from: $1.25
Back in the day, I loved Mariah Carey. She had a voice like an angel that could break your heart. But now she looks like a high-dollar Vegas whore, and all she does is do breathy choruses on `duets' with rap dudes.
The InspirationThe Inspiration by Young Jeezy
Buy new: $9.97 / Used from: $3.38
This is just a random pick. I hate rap now. It used to be about skills and being able to make people think. Now, it's only about lettin' your chain hang low and posing out between a hot chick and a car that most people in America couldn't afford.
UmbrellaUmbrella by Rihanna (Ft Jay-Z)
Buy new: $8.54 / Used from: $4.58
Ella...ella...ella...ayy..ayy...ayy. I can only hope for a plane crash in this chick's future. Go ahead, hate me.
Infinity on HighInfinity on High by Fall Out Boy
Buy new: $12.99 / Used from: $3.50
Pop-punk that's irrelevant the minute you graduate from high school. "It's music for the outcasts." Screw you. I was one of the outcasts and these guys aren't singing my song. Made for when you think "true love" is the hot cheerleader sitting across from you in study hall.
Some HeartsSome Hearts by Carrie Underwood
Buy new: $7.99 / Used from: $4.80
Has anybody noticed that all contemporary country nowadays sounds like middle-of-the-road early 90's pop? It is pap of the highest order. I grew up listening to real country. Loretta Lynn didn't need a push-up bra and a dye job.
ContinuumContinuum by John Mayer
Buy used from: $7.99
I can't stand his voice. And I hate it when I see him on TV talking about real bands and real music when he churns out junk like this.
Feels Like HomeFeels Like Home by Norah Jones
Buy new: $11.97 / Used from: $3.98
The whole `sensitive girl behind a piano' thing has got to go. THIS IS NOT JAZZ MUSIC! I don't care if Ravi Shankar was her father.
Kidz Bop, Vol. 12Kidz Bop, Vol. 12 by Kidz Bop Kids
Buy new: $14.99 / Used from: $4.59
If you buy music for your kids and it isn't even the real artists, stop now. Get them into something you like. It might not be too late to save their soul. Don't make them mediocre. There's more than enough of that out there.
ConstantineConstantine
Buy new: $11.97 / Used from: $5.50
I have never watched a single episode of American Idol. It has no measure of musical worth. When I hear people talking about the show as if it's a important cultural event, I just shudder. You know, "Star Search" was bad to in the 80's, but at least those people had the decency not to release albums.
DaughtryDaughtry by Daughtry
Buy new: $9.99 / Used from: $6.45
More junk in the Nickelback mode. You don't have electric guitars and make like a rock group and make crappy music like this.
Minutes to MidnightMinutes to Midnight by Linkin Park
Buy new: $13.99 / Used from: $8.50
It will be real funny in 10 years when these guys are in their 40's and still trying to sing to the same group of disaffected sad teenagers. Hang it up already. The nu-metal thing is done, thank God.
The DutchessThe Dutchess by Fergie
Buy new: $12.99 / Used from: $4.00
I am beyond sick of this chick. She's like some second-generation Taylor Dayne clone that just won't go away. Her latest song, the ballad, really makes me laugh. Just because you have a nice butt doesn't mean you should have a career.
Confessions on a Dance FloorConfessions on a Dance Floor by Madonna
Buy new: $13.99 / Used from: $3.90
It's funny that Madonna can be writhing around in a tight dance leotard for 5 minutes, and I just don't wanna watch. She was done after Ray of Light, she just didn't know it.
Double UpDouble Up by R. Kelly
Buy new: $13.99 / Used from: $5.39
This guy can be caught red handed doing felonious things.(I've seen the video, it's him), and it's like it never happened. He's back to drinking Cristal and sucking on cigars.
Lost HighwayLost Highway by Bon Jovi
Buy new: $9.99 / Used from: $2.78
These boys sold out long ago, but now that they've found their groove singing to middle-age soccer moms, they'll never go away. Beyond irrelevant.
DecemberundergroundDecemberunderground by AFI
Buy new: $9.97 / Used from: $2.75
These guys were a punk band once. Now they've sold out singing to the sad-eyed teen crowd. If you think this is `Goth' music, you have no idea what you're talking about. I wish someone would break the singer's pointy jaw.
The Best Damn ThingThe Best Damn Thing by Avril Lavigne
Buy new: $13.99 / Used from: $4.90
Her song "Boyfriend" makes me want to pull my teeth out. Choruses that any 12 year old could sing along to, and that's exactly who its meant for. Great musicians have come from Canada, but not this chick. She's about as `punk rock' as the clearance rack at Hot Topic. It's too bad she doesn't wear the tie anymore. I'd like to strangle her with it.