Product Description

No is perhaps the most important and certainly the most powerful word in the language. Every day we find ourselves in situations where we need to say No–to people at work, at home, and in our communities–because No is the word we must use to protect ourselves and to stand up for everything and everyone that matters to us.

But as we all know, the wrong No can also destroy what we most value by alienating and angering people. That’s why saying No the right way is crucial. The secret to saying No without destroying relationships lies in the art of the Positive No, a proven technique that anyone can learn.

This indispensable book gives you a simple three-step method for saying a Positive No. It will show you how to assert and defend your key interests; how to make your No firm and strong; how to resist the other side’s aggression and manipulation; and how to do all this while still getting to Yes. In the end, the Positive No will help you get not just to any Yes but to the right Yes, the one that truly serves your interests.

Based on William Ury’s celebrated Harvard University course for managers and professionals, The Power of a Positive No offers concrete advice and practical examples for saying No in virtually any situation. Whether you need to say No to your customer or your coworker, your employee or your CEO, your child or your spouse, you will find in this book the secret to saying No clearly, respectfully, and effectively.

In today’s world of high stress and limitless choices, the pressure to give in and say Yes grows greater every day, producing overload and overwork, expanding e-mail and eroding ethics. Never has No been more needed. A Positive No has the power to profoundly transform our lives by enabling us to say Yes to what counts–our own needs, values, and priorities.

Understood this way, No is the new Yes. And the Positive No may be the most valuable life skill you’ll ever learn!


From the Hardcover edition.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #19010 in Books
• Published on: 2007-12-26
• Released on: 2007-12-26
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 272 pages

From Publishers Weekly
Twenty-five years after the publication of the bestselling Getting to Yes, Ury addresses the other side of the coin, but his version of "No" is not a simple rejection. "A Positive No begins with Yes and ends with Yes," he says, because it defines the nay-sayer's self-interests and paves the way for a continued relationship. Ury delineates this "Yes! No. Yes?" pattern recursively, so that each step is itself another three-part process. In addition to drawing on his own experiences as a negotiator for conflicts in countries like Chechnya and Venezuela, and the historical examples of activists like Rosa Parks, Nelson Mandela and Mahatma Gandhi, he shows how his principles can be used in the home and the workplace. He even throws in a few literary precedents, citing Melville's Bartleby the Scrivener, whose repetition of the phrase "I would prefer not to" is cited as a "simple and admirable" method of polite refusal. Some of Ury's advice, like describing how another's actions make you feel rather than attacking the action, may strike the more cynical minded as touchy-feely, but his reminders to consider the other person's perspective while asserting your own position create a clear, unambiguous path to win-win situations. (Mar. 6)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From AudioFile
The third in Ury's acclaimed series on negotiation is a powerful text for anyone who deals with interpersonal communication. In truth, everyone can benefit from listening since all of us negotiate day to day. As narrator, Ury imbues his message with authority. His voice and cadence clearly demonstrate some of his power to persuade. The listener can learn almost as much from the way Ury uses his voice as from the lessons themselves. The work can certainly stand alone. You need not have listened to GETTING TO YES or GETTING PAST NO, the other two books in this seriesâ but maybe you should. M.C. © AudioFile 2007, Portland, Maine-- Copyright © AudioFile, Portland, Maine

Review
"William Ury brings a marvelous blend of experience, insight, integrity and warmth to his work. In this wonderful book he teaches us how to say No—with grace and effect—so that we might create even better Yes".—Jim Collins, author Good to Great

"Almost any brief comment on The Power of a Positive No would be trite. Suffice it to say that if I'd had and used this book for the last 25 years, I would have doubtless avoided innumerable heartaches and headaches and tattered personal and professional relationships. 'Original' is an embarrassingly overused word on book dust jackets, but, simply, this all-important book stands alone on a subject that underpins, like no other, jndividual and organizational effectiveness."—Tom Peters, author of In search of Excellence

"The world's biggest shared secret is that most of us say yes when we really want to say no, in both our professional and private lives. Bill Ury generously provides us with insights and techniques to turn this malady into win-win solutions. This is a wise and powerful book."—John Naisbitt, author of Megatrends

"No matter whether you are negotiating compensation with the toughest CFO or a curfew for your teenager, this book teaches us a critical and counterintuitive lesson.  You can say no and still be nice.  Simple, straightforward and easy to read, The Power of a Positive No is a YES on our reading list."—Linda Kaplan Thaler and Robin Koval, authors of The Power of Nice: How to Conquer the Business World with Kindness


From the Hardcover edition.

Customer Reviews

A Day Late and a Dollar Short
This book is the outcome of what happened when master negotiator Jim Camp (author of "Start with No!") was invited to a symposium on negotiating at Harvard, and proceeded to blow William Ury & company out of the water. Camp is the real deal and has the data to back it up. The Harvard guys hated Camp and had to regroup to save their academic behinds. If you want the real deal, read "Start with No!", and find out how 'Getting to Yes' and other boooks of that ilk simply reduce you to cannon fodder in the face of an experienced and ruthless negotiator.

Power of a Positive No...a fourmula for success with the word "no"
The Power of a Positive No provides an intriguing view into the delicate, complex, and yet important process of saying no. Whether it be saying no to a professional request from a superior at work or saying no personally to negative and destructive behaviors one may be engaging in, this book explains a pathway to thinking through the process of saying no without damaging or loosing the relationship. The book is packed with several practical examples both simple and complex. Ury's theories are battle tested, and his unique personal experiences as cofounder of Harvard's Program on Negotiations have enabled him to have wealth of exciting and world changing opportunities that have served as a testing ground for these ideas.

The book lays out three critical steps in the process of saying no. Preparing the "No" encourages the reader to dig into the core beliefs and values behind the No answer. This self-reflective section of the book draws parallels with many other leadership authors such as Sergiovanni and Covey. Delivering the "NO" helps the reader understand the importance of asserting the beliefs behind their core decision, and how to find compromise. Finally, Ury encourages the reader to be consistent and persistent through the "No" which increases the integrity of the decision and the decision-maker. While relatively simple in concept, The Power of a Positive No provides an authentic framework for effective decision making and negotiating. This influential book explains how balancing the power of the decision and preserving the relationship is possible and attainable in every situation we face.

Boring, tedious, laborious
Let me badcktrack a bit. "Getting to Yes" by Fisher and Ury was a good book that introduced a few important concepts, such as the principled negotiator, win-win and so on. But, I did not like reading it - dry and uninspiring.

The sequel, "Getting Past No" by Ury was a much better book (in my opinion) and I really enjoyed reading it - a few times! Great book - highly recommended! This just in case you think I have something against Bill Ury - no, on the contrary, I hold him in high respect.

So, I had high expectations of Ury's latest brainchild - this unfortunate treatise on the meaning and importance of NO. I was so dissapointed that I didn't even finish reading it (Does my review still count?;) The book is a drawn-out, laborius and it deals with only one aspect of negotiation. You will NOT learn how to negotiate from this book!

By the way, Fisher's latest book "Beyond Reason" was another dissapointment - after reading a first few pages (carefully, not to leave any greasy fingermarks) I sold it on ebay as new, where I had to lie that it was a great read (I will rot in Hell for sure for that!) "The Power of Positive No" remains to be sold, where I will have to lie again.