Product Description

The mother of a teenager who committed suicide chronicles her grief process and her communication with Stephen beyond the grave, offering comforting advice to families in crisis and people who have lost loved ones to suicide. Reprint.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #604844 in Books
• Published on: 1997-04-01
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 304 pages

Features

• ISBN13: 9780671536640
• Condition: USED - VERY GOOD
• Notes:
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From Library Journal
Puryear, whose son Stephen committed suicide when he was 15, claims to have connected spiritually with Stephen through long conversations, during which he expressed remorse and implored her to help others. Ethical considerations aside, the simultaneous audio release and hefty marketing push will stimulate sales.
Copyright 1995 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Booklist
On March 18, 1973, Anne Puryear's 15-year-old son Stephen committed suicide. She digs deep into her own guilt-ravaged emotions to draw meaning from his actions, and we are led into her spiritual awakenings as she learns of her spirit guides--three distinct voices inside her head. After his death Stephen frequently contacts his mother. To keep track of his thoughts, she sits in front of her typewriter and his words come through her--they "overshadow" her thoughts. It makes for eerie reading to learn from him how he actually died and how his soul left his body. And it was his idea to help write this book from the beyond. By discussing life after death with his mother, Stephen was convinced that he could save lives of other young people on the verge of suicide. While coping with her son's suicide in this rather unorthodox manner, Puryear may provide comfort and answers to others who have had a similar loss. Included are lists of self-help groups, warning signs that may indicate a suicidal crisis, and suggestions for helping a grieving survivor. Jennifer Henderson

From Kirkus Reviews
A credulity-straining account by a deeply grieved mother of her son's brief and troubled life on earth, his suicide, and his soul's happier existence in another dimension. Puryear, who with her husband runs a holistic center and church in Arizona called the Logos Center, is seriously into interpreting auras and channeling. She asserts that not only did her deceased 15-year-old son, Stephen, ask her to write this book, but he dictated a substantial portion of it. As she tells it, spirit guides conversed with her for years before her son's death; thus, her belief that Stephen carries on lengthy conversations with her is not surprising. As she describes her own unhappy life--she repeatedly married the wrong men, and she ignored the clues Stephen gave her that he was a boy in need of help--a picture emerges of a credulous, guilt-filled woman. The book's message, as expressed by Stephen ``from the other side,'' is that most suicides can be prevented if kids can be reached soon enough, relieved of peer pressure, helped to develop self- esteem, and put on the right diet. For a message from the spirit world, it sounds oddly mundane. An appendix contains excerpts from various sources on suicide prevention; a directory of resources for suicide survivors and those struggling with such problems as alcoholism, drug abuse, and eating disorders; and an extensive reading list on angels, reincarnation, suicide, love, diet, and allergies. The notion of communicating with one's deceased loved ones has long had appeal to many, and some bereaved parents may find this book persuasive and even helpful. Skeptics, however, are more likely to view it as the sad product of a New Age mother's remorse and unresolved grief. -- Copyright ©1996, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.

Customer Reviews

An endorsement of LIFE, not suicide!
I thought this was a wonderful book. I will attempt to explain why by commenting on several other comments that have been made here.

The reviewers who hated this book seem to be concentrated in two distinct camps: (1) Those that hated the book because it was dictated by a "dead" person-- and this does not conform to their personal beliefs about the afterlife and (2) Those who hated this book because the son, Stephen, seems to be having a great time in the afterlife-- and therefore it seems to them that this book actually ENDORSES suicide. I would like to comment on these two ideas.

First, there are a group of reviewers who call this book junk because a "dead" boy is speaking to his mother-- at best, the negative reviewers say that the mother is delusional with grief, at worst that she is crazy. There is no way that we can prove one way or another if this is true or not-- that is, whether a boy is actually communicating from beyond the grave. However, to dismiss the claim so peremptorily with such comments as "Stephen doesn't live anywhere except in the fanciful mind of his mother, the author" and "This is new age tripe at it's worst" is not only dismissing the author, but almost every major world religion-- Christianity, Islam and Judaism all purport a belief in life after death. I am not an expert on Islam, but there are examples in both the Old and New Testament of so-called after-death communication. So to call this book "New Age tripe" simply because the author claims to have had an experience which has been reported in holy literature for over 4000 years is simply incorrect. After-death communication is not even close to "New" Age-- in fact, it is very "Old" Age. Whether it is TRUE or not is another question altogether-- but to dismiss the claim out of hand is irresponsible, and in fact insulting to many so-called mainstream religious doctrines.

(However, it doesn't matter if you believe this or not. You can still come away the message even if you do not believe in life after death.)

Second, there are those who hated this book because it seemed to them to endorse suicide. This in my mind is the more relevant point. However, upon reading this book I did not see how this book endorsed suicide at all-- in fact, it was strongly anti-suicide, as far as I could tell. True, the son is now seemingly doing well on the other side, but in no way does this endorse suicide. In fact, in the book it is emphasized again and again that killing himself was the worst possible thing that Stephen could have done-- that by doing so, he lost out on so much, on so many opportunities. Yes, he is doing OK now, but even so he will NEVER be able to accomplish the things that he could have had he chosen to live. This is a regret and a pain that he says that he will carry for his eternity. That sounds like a little piece of hell to me-- knowing that you had a tremendous, golden opportunity, but that you rejected it permanenetly... and that now, no matter what you do, you can NEVER get that opportunity again. Sure, you might be able to do other things, but those things you rejected you will NEVER get a chance to do again. In life that is rarely the case-- you always get another chance-- but if you kill youself you've ended the game forever, no matter what the score is. Rather than encouraging me to kill myself, this message is a powerful endorsement for LIVING LIFE!

I don't KNOW if Anne Puryear actually spoke to her son or not (I BELIEVE that she did,) and it doesn't really matter if she did or not, since I do KNOW that this book does NOT encourage suicide-- in fact, it is one of the strongest endorsements AGAINST suicide and FOR LIFE that I have read-- whether you take the story as a metaphor or literally true.

That, I feel, is the most important message of the book.

Who should purchase this book?
If you are wondering whether or not you will love or hate this book after reading many of the very disparate opions written here, I hope to clear it up a bit...

Firstly, if you are an admamant atheist, forget it.
If you are a fundamentalist Christian, not for you.
However, if you are an openminded skeptic, much like myself, who is interested in the existence of near death experiences and other kinds of strange and unexplainable paranormal occurances, you might like the book, or at least be interested.

If you have just suffered a loss of a loved one very recently (say, within 6 - 12 months) perhaps this book might be a little much to take all in one gulp, if you don't agree with the beliefs. I myself do agree with many of the beliefs and that's why I gave this book such a high rating. Some of the beliefs in the book are: 1. Life after death exists. Communication with souls who have crossed over is possible. 2. Suicide is not an option for young people because it causes so much pain for those left behind. (However, for older people with chronic fatal illnesses it is different)

I think that a lot of the reason that people did not like this book is because they may have focused more on the suicide notes that Stephen left behind, and not the tormented words of his mother. These notes are sad, yes, but in Stephen's twisted way, he tried to make light of the situation and made lots of jokes and thought everything would be better once he died. The notes are truly sad and I think we should try to remember how naive he was at 15 years of age. I lost one of my best friends to suicide, and I am sure that she thought she would be better off "over there" because she was in so much mental anguish. Stephen's notes do not belie the immense pain he must have felt, probably because even in his death he was trying to uplift the people around him and help them get over grieving for him. He had a personality that seeked to please others, and the jokes and pronouncements about how he'll be so much better off dead and on the other side are a sad lie to himself. Or maybe he really did not know how much his family would suffer. I myself did not forsee how horrifying suicide could be. I thought that if anyone around me ever did that, it would be like griveing a normal death. How wrong I was.

I can understand why people would react so strongly to this book. Most of the people, from what I can tell from their posting, have lost someone to suicide. This type of death causes so much pain in those left behind that many people actually suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Some people are looking for someone to blame for Stephen's death, as much as they are looking to blame someone for the death of their own loved one. In this case, it is the author, Anne, who gets blamed. Many grievers also feel unmitigated anger, towards everything and anything. This is a normal part of grief. These people need to express their anger in a healthy way. That's why I wouldn't reccomend this book for someone who is in the "raw" part of their grief. If they don't agree with the ideas in the book it will just piss them off more than they already are.

I thank Anne for being brave enough to publish such a controversial book. It has helped me, as much as it has inflammed others. (from the ratings of the postings, the ratio seems to be about half and half) I personally do not believe a suicidal teenager would take their life after reading this book. The aftermath of suicide is clearly stated (perhaps many of the negative reviewers did not read the book through to the end, which is unfortunate, as they may have come away with a different perspective. The consequences of suicide on the other side is to see the incredible pain that the person who killed themselves has caused. And to experience that there is no way for them to take away this gigantic and final and terrible mistake. Stephen many times says that he wishes he could change what happened, that what he believed before he did it (see above, his suicide notes) was absolutely completely crazy. The book very explicitly states that suicide is not an option. It would be interesting to hear from a teenager who has read the book, and whether or not it helped them see this.

It is true however, that some people will want to do it and find cause to end their lives no matter what. They will try to find "answers" and reasons, as if looking for someone else to guide their own hand. With that said, any kind of material, be it a book, a song, or the words of a loved one, that can be twisted into some sick kind of urging to end their lives. That is their own fault, not the fault of someone like Anne, someone who wrote the sad lyrics to a song, or even your fault, if you feel that you may have pushed your loved one to suicide. You didn't. It was their desicion, alone.

Amazing
I actually bought this book twice. The first time I read it I gave my copy to a mother who lost her child though suicide who my son had the unfortunate circumstance to have found this child dead. This book was highly recommended by the voice of God in Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsh. This is why I bought it. I purchased a second copy to read again. I only am writing this review after reading all the negative reviews on this book. I can only imagine that this book could bring comfort to any parent who has lost a child. If you believe in the afterlife, then this book will offer great comfort. I know for a fact that loved ones return after they die. It has happened too many times in my own life to be just a coincidence. I really feel sorry for people who have so much negativity in their lives and can't see or don't want to see the light. This book is not for everyone. That much is obvious a lot of the reviews that I have read. Kudos to Anne Puryear for having the courage to write it.