The Accidental Vampire (Argeneau Vampires, Book 7)
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Average customer review:Product Description
Ever since an accident turned her into a knockout vamp, Elvi Black's been catching her z's in a coffin, staying out of the sun, and giving up garlic. She knows there's more to being undead than what she saw in Dracula, but she can't very well ask her mortal friends about proper biting etiquette. But when her neighbors placed a personal ad for her in the local paper, she never imagined she'd meet Victor Argeneau, a vampire who could have his pick of any womandead or alive.
Rich, powerful, and drop—dead gorgeous, Victor's the perfect man for a novice neck—biter like Elvi. He's willing to teach her everything he knows, but he'll have to do it fast. Someone's out to put a stake through her new vamp life, and only Victor can keep her safeand satisfiedfor all eternity.
Product Details
- Amazon Sales Rank: #9016 in Books
- Published on: 2008-01-01
- Released on: 2007-12-26
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Binding: Mass Market Paperback
- 384 pages
Features
- ISBN13: 9780061229688
- Condition: NEW
- Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.
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Editorial Reviews
About the Author
Lynsay Sands is the national bestselling author of the Argeneau vampire series as well as more than sixteen historical novels and anthologies known for their humorous edge.
Customer Reviews
It's No Accident, It's Skill! Sand's Delivers An Imaginative & Sexy Vamp Romance!
Five years ago sixty-something Elvi, on a what was supposed to be a sun and fun filled vacation in Mexico, suddenly found herself turned into a vampire. With no maker hanging around to show her the immortal ropes Elvi turned to the movie, Bram Stoker's Dracula, to learn how to be a successful creature of the night. So for the last five years Elvi has avoided garlic and crosses, and worn only black. Elvi knows she shouldn't be complaining - she's immortal while her lifelong friends are all getting up in years- but Elvi is not looking forward to an eternity of sleeping in a dirt-filled coffin. Then again that may not be a problem.
After having lost his wife to vampire hunters centuries ago, Victor Argeneau has dedicated his life to eliminating rogue vampires as an enforcer for the vampire council of North America, so that no other immortal family will have to suffer the same crushing loss. When Elvi's friends place a personal ad seeking a male vampire to keep her company when they pass on, Victor answers the ad to investigate whether a real vampire or a just a vamp-wanna-be is responsible. Vamp law mandates keeping a low profile and the penalty for attracting human attention is death. Upon arriving in Elvi's small town for his "date," Victor is horrified to discover that the whole town knows about Elvi. After meeting Elvi, Victor finds himself torn between duty and the instant overwhelming attraction he feels for her. But while Victor is struggling to figure out how to avoid having to bring the woman who just may be his second chance at happiness in to face vampire justice, it looks like the ad may have attracted just the type of attention the council fears -- a vampire hunter and Elvi is the target.
Deviating a bit from Sand's usual formula, there was so much of Accidental Vampire that was fun and original. From Elvi's unusual turning, to the great bunch of supporting characters, including a couple that get romances of their own. But most of all I loved that Elvi wasn't the typical twenty year old vamp romance heroine. Being older, Elvi has had a lot of life experiences to give her depth. Also Elvi was a fun character with her single minded enthusiasm, neurotic charm and goofy vampire rules. Victor of course was incredibly hunky, but the hope that he will again have someone to relieve the unrelenting loneliness of his immortal existence makes him very vulnerable. While he sure of what he feels for Elvi, he's not the only sexy immortal to answer Elvi's ad. Even if Elvi chooses him, Victor still has good reason to fear he may lose her -- someone's trying to kill her and there's still the potential council death sentence hanging over her head. The only negative in the book for fans is a positive for readers new to Sands' vampire mythos, in order to make sure that her books are stand-alone reads, Sands explains in every book the whole reason why the immortals are immortal, need blood and can't go out in the sun. This is a very minor nit and it is easy to skip over. So, if it means more fans for Sands so that she keeps selling books and keeps writing more, I'm not complaining.
I just loved this book, it was the best of the Argeneau series so far and here's more good news for new and existing fans - Vampire Interrupted is just the first of three new Argeneau books to be released over the next three months. Look for Vampires Are Forever (Argeneau Vampires, Book 8), Thomas' story, in January and Vampire, Interrupted (Argeneau Vampires, Book 9), Marguerite's story, in February.
The Argeneau Vampire Series Contempory Vampire Romances by Lynsay Sands:
A Quick Bite ( Book 1)
Love Bites (Argeneau Vampires, Book 2)
Single White Vampire (Argeneau Vampires, Book 3)
Tall, Dark & Hungry (Argeneau Vampires, Book 4)
A Bite to Remember (Argeneau Vampires, Book 5)
Bite Me If You Can (Argeneau Vampires, Book 6)
And if you like your vampires in a kilt in a historical setting, try Sand's Highlander Vampire series -- these are collaborations with Hannah Howell:
My Immortal Highlander
The Eternal Highlander
Highland Thirst
Cool premise ruined by stupidity
Normally I don't start reading a series seven books in, but since this one has new characters in every book, I figured I wouldn't suffer from missing much of the backstory.
The premise=cool. Vampires are Atlantean survivors. Very cool; explanation of vampirism plausible; all neat and acceptable.
Where this book seriously bit the dust was in the moronic leading character. Spoilers follow...
..
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So she has no idea how she becomes a vampire. She decides to "research" vampirism (by watching movies) and goes to THE BATHROOM DURING THE ONE SCENE THAT SHOWS A VAMPIRE BEING MADE??!!! WHAT?!!! She then attempts to turn her best friend by biting her a whole bunch of times because that's what 'the books' say to do...uh what books? Every vampire mythology involves an exchange of fluids for the last hundred years. What kind of research was this? She has a memory of the guy in the bus bleeding into her mouth but discounts it because her friend saw him walking around after the accident..uh hello..VAMPIRE, healing abilities which you now share. How much time did she actually spend thinking about this totally life altering event? 3 seconds? She sleeps in a coffin...er...why? She slept in beds when she was first made a vampire, before she got home and had a coffin made, at some point wouldn't she have said, gee you know I don't have to go out and buy a coffin, this bed is working just fine? For five years she doesn't look in a mirror..because she "knows" she doesn't have a reflection? So she never cleaned her stove till it shined? Glanced in the microwave door, the computer screen? Driven a CAR?!!
This book is just stupid. I gave it two points because the writing wasn't horrible, the premise was cool, but the execution of this particular plot was just wretched.
More Miss than Hit
I'm coming to the conclusion that either 'Lynsay Sands' is the collective name for a group of writers or else she relies on her editors to make her books readable. This is the second time I've read a book in her vampire series and genuinely wondered if it was written by the same author as the others.
Tall, Dark and Hungry, Bastien's story, was ponderous, completely unfunny and contained characters that made me roll my eyes in dismay. The characters in this book aren't quite that bad, but parts of the plot are barely credible and - astoundingly for a published novel - there are spelling and grammar mistakes I wouldn't expect an eight-year-old to make. For example, 'jamming on the breaks', and 'the single's column', and Sands' complete inability to distinguish between the present and past tenses of the verb 'to be'.
Leaving those aside, The Accidental Vampire has some merit, in particular the departure from all characters having to be young and gorgeous in order to be attractive. The attraction between one secondary vampire character and a 60-something mortal was very nicely done - and why shouldn't a youthful-appearing vampire find an older woman appealing? He's centuries old, after all. I also liked another minor vampire character being drawn to an 80-something woman (relationship offscreen).
But the need to strain credulity abounded. For instance, part of the 'suspense' hung on whether or not Elvi was Victor's lifemate - which would lead to conflict with his role as a vampire law enforcer. It takes about two seconds and very little effort to check whether or not he can read her mind - the test of whether or not she's his lifemate. And he doesn't do it for days, despite being overwhelmingly attracted to her. Unbelievable. As was the next-door-neighbour sub-plot, or indeed the entire town colluding to celebrate their local vampire.
I'm hoping that my next Sands will either be written by the real Lynsay Sands, or edited by someone competent.




