Product Description

Sometimes I fantasize about having a magic wand. How awesome it would be to wave it and completely eliminate prejudice, hate, and ignorance. Just imagine what it would be like to live in a world like that.

How It Feels to Have a Gay or Lesbian Parent: A Book by Kids for Kids of All Ages gives voice to the thoughts, feelings, and experiences of children, adolescents, and young adults who have a gay or lesbian parent. In their own words, they talk openly and candidly about how and when they learned of their parent’s sexual orientation and the effect it had on them—and their families. Their stories echo themes of prejudice and harassment, conflict and confusion, adaptation and adjustment, and hope for tolerance and a family that can exist in harmony.

"Because it’s an issue for other people, it becomes an issue for me. I’m angry about the way it works against me."

The stories told in How It Feels to Have a Gay or Lesbian Parent not only reflect the day-to-day struggle of children with a GLBT parent, they also reveal the pain inherent in high-conflict divorce and child custody cases. Children of gay/lesbian parents ranging in age from seven to 31 recall the confusion and grief created when the disclosure of their parent’s true sexual orientation ended a marriage and divided a family. The "straight" parent’s resentment can lead to angry remarks that—intentionally or unintentionally—disparage the gay/lesbian parent and threaten the natural love and affection the child feels for both.

"I guess the hardest part about having a gay dad is that no matter how okay you are with it, there’s always going to be someone who will dislike you because of it."

The one-on-one interviews presented in How It Feels to Have a Gay or Lesbian Parent document first-hand the effects of homophobia on family life. Children struggle with the choice between living in a closet, shamed by peers and family members, or dealing with discrimination as a parent’s sexual orientation is used against them. Taken together, these stories make a statement for acceptance, understanding, and tolerance as children do their best to make the transition from a traditional family to a nontraditional lifestyle.

"My mom is a normal person just like everyone else. The only thing that’s different about her is that she’s gay and if you can’t deal with it, you’re just going to have to live with it."

How It Feels to Have a Gay or Lesbian Parent: A Book by Kids for Kids of All Ages offers comfort and support to children from those who share their journey. The book is a valuable aid for practitioners working with children of GLBT parents and an educational tool for GLBT adults considering children.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #1055096 in Books
• Published on: 2004-07-28
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Hardcover
• 132 pages

From School Library Journal
Grade 5 Up–Thirty-two individuals between the ages of 7 and 31 provide enlightening perspectives on the confusion and prejudices surrounding this issue. Snow emphasizes that problems arise due to divorce, homophobia, and discrimination from peers and politics, not because being gay or lesbian results in bad parenting skills. The voices range from naive to experienced and philosophical, depending on the narrator's age. A black-and-white spot illustration decorates the opening page of each chapter. This inspirational, eye-opening title gives readers who have gay and lesbian parents a much-deserved voice.–Hillias J. Martin, New York Public Library
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist
Gr. 5-8. Thirty-two individuals, ranging in age from 7 to 31, reflect on the experience of having a homosexual parent. Of course, some are more articulate than others, but all candidly express their feelings, which typically range from initial bafflement through hurt to acceptance. In many cases, divorce and its impact seem to be larger issues than a parent's sexual orientation, though the painful consequences of bigotry and homophobia are also factors. As one 16-year-old girl wisely notes, "People don't even seem to try to understand; they just get scared and confused and act out of hate because something is different." Though primarily targeted at children of gay and lesbian parents, this book has information, insight, and understanding to offer to readers of different circumstances^B and ages. Michael Cart
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

Review
"Timely, necessary. . . . A useful source of insight for parents, children, judges, lawyers, and child custody evaluators. . . -- Julie Kunce Field, JD, Attorney and Mediator, Office of Dispute Resolution, Colorado

Customer Reviews

Not what I was expecting...
My partner and I bought this book in hopes that it would be a good read for our daughter in the future (she turned 8 months old today!). From what we've read of this book so far all of these stories are from children who were born into heterosexual families with one parent coming out, whereas our daughter was conceived, born and raised with two mommies. Since the stories are all from kids who have a gay or lesbian parent our daughter will, at least, have that in common.

Good for older kids
I bought this book thinking it would be good for my daughter and my partner's daughter. It has some good writing, but definitely get this for an older teen. The stories weren't really coming from kids my daughter's age (10), so they were harder to relate to for her. Perhaps in a couple years she'll pick it up and give it another try.

I love the premise of this book...and I'd like to see something just like it but written from younger kids' perspectives.

almost child friendly
i found the book a good read, but my young daughter has a little trouble with the words not being literacy friendly. she has trouble with adult words (the spelling). otherwise i enjoyed it.