Product Description

Most people think that poor communication is the reason why so many relationships end, but it’s actually the way we learn to think about our partners and our problems that kills trust, erodes intimacy, and cripples communication. In Why Can’t You Read My Mind?, psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein reveals—for the first time—the nine toxic thought patterns at work in virtually every intimate relationship, and shows you how the distorted, negative, exaggerated thoughts you and your partner may have about each other can destroy the love you share. Based on years of successful couples counseling, Bernstein has developed a simple yet powerful approach for breaking the toxic thinking cycle and helps you establish new and more positive thinking habits for solving your problems and dealing with the stresses of everyday life. Filled with practical advice on topics like fighting fairly and purging emotional ghosts as well as fun, easy-to-follow exercises that will keep your romance alive for years to come, Why Can’t You Read My Mind? is an invaluable tool for those seeking to restore—or create—a happy, loving, and fulfilling relationship.

Don’t let these toxic thought patterns come between you and lasting love:

The All or Nothing Trap * Catastrophic Conclusions * The Should Bomb * Label Slinging * The Blame Game * Emotional Short-Circuit * Overactive Imagination * Head Game Gamble * Disillusionment Doom

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #11129 in Books
• Published on: 2003-11-02
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 256 pages

Features

• ISBN13: 9781569244753
• Condition: NEW
• Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.
• Click here to view our Condition Guide and Shipping Prices

From Publishers Weekly
Bernstein, a psychologist specializing in couples and family therapy, and Magee (The Power of Positive Confrontation) offer partners a way to renew the spark in their relationships in this succinct self-help guide. They claim that one of the most significant steps is to focus on yourself rather than your partner by ridding yourself of toxic thoughts, "negative thoughts that have lost their basis in reality and have gotten out of control." Examining nine toxic thought patterns (such as jumping to conclusions, labeling one another and playing the "blame game"), the authors provide well-researched explanations, relevant examples and practical alternatives to transform negative thoughts and behaviors into positive and constructive ones.
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Review
"All couples should read this book and give their relationship a chance for a deeper and longer lasting love." -- Nadine J. Carpenter, LCSW

"Bernstein and Magee ... will assist any motivated couple in making meaningful changes in their relationship." -- Monroe A. Bruch, Professor of Counseling Psychology, University of Albany, State University of New York

"This book [will]...help your relationship become better, less conflicted, and more romantic—even if your partner doesn’t read it!" -- Steven D. Mullinix, Ph.D.

"This excellent book ... gives detailed guidance on how to create a lasting love. I heartily recommend it." -- Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., New York Times best-selling author of Getting the Love You Want

About the Author
Jeffrey Bernstein, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist specializing in couples and family therapy in the Philadelphia area. He has spent the last two years conducting seminars for couples using his discoveries about the toxic thinking problem in relationships, and has helped hundreds of couples on the brink of separation and divorce think their way back to love. SUSAN MAGEE is an award-winning writer of fiction and nonfiction and co-author of several books, including The Power of Positive Confrontation and When the Little Things Count. Bernstein and Magee live with their families outside Philadelphia.

Customer Reviews

A Real Eye Opener
I read several good relationship books (including Relationship Rescue) but this book really does bring to light a problem I never knew I had--toxic thinking. Just since reading the book over the weekend, I've already improved my relationship with my husband of nine years. I know this sounds crazy but it's true. The author really gets you thinking about how you think about your relationship and sometimes it's not very positive. Though it's very common sense, it's just not the kind of thing I would have realized on my own. I also like the author's style, very upbeat and fun, not at all psycho babbly like a lot of congnitive relationship books.

Very eye-opening!!
This book really makes you take a look at how you are contributing to the problems in your relationship, I found myself saying "wow, i do that"....A LOT. For me, and i would guess most people when they are having relationship problems get to a point where they think they have done everything they can to fix it....when really we do just the opposite. I always considered myself extremely giving and open and my partner totally selfish, and reading this book made me realize how selfish i am. I think this book is a great tool for looking at our own behavior..Also, it gives plenty of great examples and ways to improve.

This Book Saved My Marriage!
Before we found this book, my husband and I were highly discourgaged and didn't think there were any solutions to repair our miserable relationship. All I can say is that this book finally stopped us from resenting and blaming each other for the crumbling of our marriage. I had seen Dr. Bernstein on the Today Show a while ago when they had a segment on toxic relationships and I remembered the title, Why Can't You Read My Mind? This book helped us to understand and appreciate each other in ways we never have before. I only wish that I had bought it before our relationship got so bad. My advice is don't wait till the 11th hour to read this outstanding book.