Product Description

Gurian shows how the challenges a man typically encounters in relationships--such as codependency, insecurity, and the need for control--most often have their origin in the way he learned to relate to his mother. This guided journey helps facilitate healing in the primal bond and other love relationships.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #75424 in Books
• Published on: 1993-11-23
• Released on: 1993-11-23
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 312 pages

From Library Journal
Modern society lacks the rituals available in primitive cultures, claims Gurian, whereby a boy separates from his mother as he moves into manhood. As a result, many modern men do not adequately separate from their mothers. Gurian discusses the troubled relationships that result. He points out that the father's role in this separation is crucial; from him the boy learns what it is to be a man. If the father is absent or disengaged, the boy may be hurt. In unhappy families, mothers may give the wrong messages to their sons. In the second half of the book, Gurian offers a workbook-like exercise designed to take the reader on a journey to heal his relationship with his mother. Enlivened by examples and easy to read, this book makes a contribution to the literature on male personal development. For large popular psychology collections.
- John Moryl, Yeshiva Univ. Lib., New York
Copyright 1993 Reed Business Information, Inc.

About the Author
Michael Gurian is a teacher, therapist, storyteller, and workshop leader. He is also the author of Mothers, Sons, and Lovers: How a Man's Relationship with His Mother Affects the Rest of His Life, The Prince and the King: Healing the Father-Son Wound, and The Wonder of Boys.

Customer Reviews

A profound guide to healing the mother-son relationship.
If a man or a woman reads the first chapter, and fear or deep sadness come up, this intensive workbook may be a path to deep healing. Gurian displays an enlightened understanding of the mother/son relationship in the theory portion of the book. Following a mythopoetic metaphor, the second half workbook will put a dedicated man well on the way to reclaiming his masculinity from his shadow. Men and women will gain more compassion and understanding of the opposite sex. An excellent book when coupled with a willingess on the reader's part to not get immersed in the study of wounds, and to move on in life through action.

Female Reader
This book was tremendously helpful in helping me to understand how my Man's Mother shaped his life, why he has such difficulty with intimate relationships and what perhaps he can do to help himself. Thank you Paul Gurian! A library must have for any woman who finds herself involved with a Peter Pan, a perfectionist, or a misogynist.

Yes, it has some hyperbole and a pop psychology feel but it is still thought-provoking
Having just used the "Search Inside the Book" feature on Amazon to look at parts of another of Gurian's books (about choosing movies and books for boys and teens), I used it again to get a feel for this book. It convinced me to buy it, just as it convinced me NOT to buy that other book.

While browsing through sections of this book (Mothers, Sons, and Lovers...)I was intrigued by many of the points made. I wanted to know more, including how our society short changes boys in all sorts of way, major and minor, resulting in men who may be searching for a stronger sense of what being "male" in our society means.

One of the most crucial relationships is between a boy and his mother, as well as an active, engaged father. What I particularly liked was the emphasis on helping men heal past wounds, on building from the here and now to the future. I didn't find this book to be a "Blame the Mother" type book but more of an exploration of what can go right - and wrong - in families and , most particularly, between mother and son.

The insights I got from this book will affect my future behavior with my sons and I hope that males who are now living on their own but with unresolved issues with their mothers find solace, support and healing from reading this book.

I confess that I found some of the language to be a bit high-flown for my taste but that is just a very personal opinion and it may not bother other readers. Get past that and go for the nuggets of wisdom that are in this book.

I would strongly suggest readers also get a copy of the book and/or DVD Raising Cain because the it addresses some of the concerns the author has raised about how to raise boy in a system that isn't often designed to best meet their needs (in particular, the average public or private school).