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Your Movie Sucks

Your Movie Sucks
By Roger Ebert

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From Roger's review of Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (0 stars): "The movie created a spot of controversy in February 2005. According to a story by Larry Carroll of MTV News, Rob Schneider took offense when Patrick Goldstein of the Los Angeles Times listed this year's Best Picture nominees and wrote that they were 'ignored, unloved, and turned down flat by most of the same studios that . . . bankroll hundreds of sequels, including a follow-up to Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo, a film that was sadly overlooked at Oscar time because apparently nobody had the foresight to invent a category for Best Running Penis Joke Delivered by a Third-Rate Comic.'

"Schneider retaliated by attacking Goldstein in full-page ads in Daily Variety and the Hollywood Reporter. In an open letter to Goldstein, Schneider wrote: 'Well, Mr. Goldstein, I decided to do some research to find out what awards you have won. I went online and found that you have won nothing. Absolutely nothing. No journalistic awards of any kind. . . . Maybe you didn't win a Pulitzer Prize because they haven't invented a category for Best Third-Rate, Unfunny Pompous Reporter Who's Never Been Acknowledged by His Peers. . . .'

"Schneider was nominated for a 2000 Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor, but lost to Jar-Jar Binks. But Schneider is correct, and Patrick Goldstein has not yet won a Pulitzer Prize. Therefore, Goldstein is not qualified to complain that Columbia financed Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo while passing on the opportunity to participate in Million Dollar Baby, Ray, The Aviator, Sideways, and Finding Neverland. As chance would have it, I have won the Pulitzer Prize, and so I am qualified. Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks."


Product Details

  • Amazon Sales Rank: #58820 in Books
  • Published on: 2007-03-01
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Binding: Paperback
  • 368 pages

Features


Editorial Reviews

About the Author
Roger Ebert is the Pulitzer Prize-winning film critic of the Chicago Sun-Times and cohost of the national television program Ebert & Roeper. His reviews are syndicated internationally in more than 200 newspapers and available online at www.rogerebert.com. A recipient of the 2005 Syndication Personality Lifetime Achievement Award, Roger resides in Chicago, Ill.


Customer Reviews

Ebert Defines Wit5
"I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie" has been a perennial favorite book of mine for years. "Your Movie Sucks" is in the same genre, and is as witty as Ebert has ever been. The book is essentially a collection of sub-two star reviews from the last few years, and is both enlightening and funny.

I am a devoted fan of camp, and some of the films in this book sound as if they will definitely fall into that arena. For those of us who value movies so bad they're good, parts of this book read like a shopping list. I am embarrassed to admit that I have seen several of these features, and in each instance of encountering a film I had seen Ebert was both accurate and amusing: his edicts were unerring and frequently hilarious. Fortunately, Ebert not only displays wit, but also good judgment: some of the films in this book are so awful, despair laden, and dark (e.g. "Wolf Creek") as to inspire only genuine loathing. I appreciate that Ebert makes it clear that there some movies so bad as to not be enjoyable on any plane.

These reviews are informative in another way: they inspire critical thinking about films and specifically about what makes a film bad or good. To be sure there are times in the past that I have disagreed with Ebert, and I'm sure if I sat through all the refuse that is this subject of this book, I would find something to disagree with him about here too. Having said all that, regarding the movies I have seen, including the utterly wretched "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo" which serves as an introduction to the book in one of Ebert's strongest efforts, and "Corky Romano" which I saw in Iceland with Icelandic subtitles (the subtitles were by far more amusing than the movie) Ebert is squarely on target and more generous in his appraisal than I would have been.

This is a great book, and I encourage anyone who loves movies (bad or good) to read it and cherish it.

Thanks, Roger.

I Love Love Love these books5
For years I've wondered if Roger Ebert was going to release another collection of reviews of movies he hated hated hated. Along came "Your Movie Sucks". Ebert has always said that he'd rather enjoy a movie than not enjoy it. "Your Movie Sucks" is over 300 pages of reviews of movies that Ebert had to sit through, and didn't enjoy. Good thing for us, because his reviews of bad movies are entertaining to read. If we tend to watch a film based on a positive review, why do we want to rent films that get hysterically-bad reviews that much more? When "The Village" was originally released in theaters, Ebert's review got me looking online for spoilers to the movie's ending because I was so curious as to what he was referring to. I saved that review (among others) into a document on my computer. Now that "Your Movie Sucks" has been released, I have dozens of my favorite writings by Ebert in a book. One curious omission to "Your Movie Sucks" is "Life of David Gale", which became one of Ebert's most famous and controversial reviews, simply because of the film's last shot. One day I'd like a DVD to be released of Ebert's best moments with both Siskel, and Roeper. Until then, here is another book of reviews that will make you laugh laugh laugh!

Love him or hate him, I must admit that the man can write!5
It used to be true that a "thumbs down" review for a particular movie by Siskel and Ebert was enough to make me want to see it. And often enough I would enjoy a movie for the very reasons that Ebert hated it, or it would seem to me that he simply could not think beyond his rigid preconceptions about what made an enjoyable movie.

Oddly, though, as I grow older I find myself agreeing more and more often with his assessment of what makes a given movie worthwhile, especially when it comes to the current crop of high concept would-be blockbusters, brain-dead romantic comedies,empty CGI fests and music videos pretending to be feature length films. So am I growing smarter, or is he??

But in any case, one thing was never in doubt - Ebert knows how a write a truly striking review...especially when he thinks a movie sucks. The prose here is to die for - he neatly skewers target after target with epigrammatic precision that would make William F. Buckley or Christopher Hitchens smile in admiration. I kept wanting to call friends up and share especially mordant and snarky passages from YMS with them, but I realized that I soon would exhaust their patience, since I'd be reading practically the entire book, line by line, over the phone. I kept wanting to underline really good quotable passages with a yellow underliner, but I soon saw that the book would soon have more yellow than white.

Etc. If you are a fan of movies, and if you enjoy good writing and well thought out critical analysis that might expand your understanding of storytelling, literature and film, get this book. Even if you disagree with his ratings, you'll learn a lot about why you love movies.