Product Description

Bestselling author Ruth Reichl examines her mother's life, giving voice to the universal unarticulated truth that we are grateful not to be our mothers

In Not Becoming My Mother, bestselling author Ruth Reichl embarks on a clear-eyed, openhearted investigation of her mother's life, piecing together the journey of a woman she comes to realize she never really knew. Looking to her mother's letters and diaries, Reichl confronts the painful transition her mother made from a hopeful young woman to an increasingly unhappy older one and realizes the tremendous sacrifices she made to make sure her daughter's life would not be as disappointing as her own.

Growing up in Cleveland, Miriam Brudno dreamed of becoming a doctor, like her father. But when she announced this, her parents said, "You're no beauty, and it's too bad you're such an intellectual. But if you become a doctor, no man will ever marry you." Instead, at twenty, Miriam opened a bookstore, a profession everyone agreed was suitably ladylike. She corresponded with authors all over the world, including philosophers such as Bertrand Russell, political figures such as Max Eastman, and novelists such as Christopher Marlowe. It was the happiest time of her life.

Nearly thirty when she finally married, she fulfilled expectations, settled down, left her bookstore behind, and started a family. But conformity came at a tremendous cost. With labor-saving devices to aid in household chores, there was simply not enough to do to fill the days. Miriam-and most of her friends-were smart, educated women who were often bored, miserable, and silently rebellious.

On what would have been Miriam's one hundredth birthday Reichl opens up her mother's diaries for the first time and encounters a whole new woman. This is a person she had never known. In this intimate study Reichl comes to understand the lessons of rebellion, independence, and self-acceptance that her mother-though unable to guide herself-succeeded in teaching her daughter.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #1877 in Books
• Published on: 2009-04-21
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Hardcover
• 128 pages

Features

• ISBN13: 9781594202162
• Condition: NEW
• Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.
• Click here to view our Condition Guide and Shipping Prices

From Publishers Weekly
Starred Review. The slender size of Reichl's memoir of her late mother's life belies its powerful tale of a young woman, Miriam Brudno, who bowed to societal and familial pressure to become a wife and a mother over pursuing a fulfilling career. While Reichl, editor-in-chief of Gourmet magazine, is well known for writing about her culinary adventures (Tender at the Bone; Garlic and Sapphires), this beautifully crafted homage follows a more personal path as she pushes past Mim Tales—stories she told about her mother to entertain her readers and friends—to dive deep into her mother's diaries and letters, paying tribute to a woman who was raised when good women didn't work if they didn't have to. So Miriam Brudno struggled to fit the mold of the perfect housewife, until she finally told a friend, Who cares about menus... when there are so many more interesting things to think about? When Reichl discovers an unopened letter to herself, she reads that her mother was cheering me on and pointing out that I had an obligation, both to myself and to her, to use my life well. Reichl has created a masterful portrait of a mother-daughter relationship that will resonate with readers across generations. (Apr.)
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From Booklist
Irreverently immortalized as the klutzy cook who renounced edibility in favor of creativity, Reichl’s mother, and her quirky kitchen habits,provided frivolous fodder for Reichl’s previous culinary memoirs. But in this keenly felt retrospective, Reichl reveals another side of her mother, whose life seemed a shining example of what not to do. Where once Miriam harbored visions of being a doctor and applied her formidable intellect in the business world, she ultimately subjugated her own ambition and desires in favor of those of her family, thus providing her daughter with a seemingly negative role model. Sadly typical of her time and generation, Miriam surrendered personal dreams to suit society’s restrictive ideals of feminine conduct, and paid a steep psychic price. Only upon discovering a hidden trove of diaries and letters after Miriam’s death was Reichl able to understand the full extent of her mother’s sacrifices. Candid and insightful, Reichl’s intensely personal and fiercely loving tribute acknowledges her mother as both the source and inspiration behind her success. --Carol Haggas

About the Author
Ruth Reichl is the editor in chief of Gourmet and the author of three bestselling memoirs, Comfort Me with Apples, Tender at the Bone, and Garlic & Sapphires, and was the editor for the comprehensive Gourmet Cookbook. She has been the restaurant critic of The New York Times and the food editor and restaurant critic at the Los Angeles Times.

Customer Reviews

Very disappointing
Having loved Reichl's three other books and having loved the bits of her mother throughout them, I was really looking forward to this book. Right out of the box, it makes a bad first impression - it's small (really small) with large type and large margins. She starts off by recounting how stories involving her mother in her previous books were embarrassing, and consequently approaches this one cautiously. Maybe too cautiously? I liked the concept of Reichl using her mother's old letters as a framework on which to build the story, but nothing ever really happened with it. Worse than not having a solid story, this book lacks feeling, something you'd expect, and hope, to find so prevalent in a daughter's retelling of her mother's life. What you get here is a plain vanilla version of the story of an intersting, colorful woman that reads more like a Wikipedia biography than anything else.

The woman in Reichl's other books was so real, so believable, so much like other women I've known from that generation all stitched together. That woman is barely recognizable here. We learn a bit about why she became the woman she did, but nothing about that woman. Reichl's mother seems more real through a quick memory in any of her previous books than she does in all 128 pages here.

Like another reviewer, it seemed obvious to me that this was published only to satisfy a contract. Otherwise, why would it have made it to the shelf? Of all the quips about her mother that Reichl has put into print, this is the most embarrassing. Save your money and wait to find this one in the bargain bin.

Good, not great
I have really enjoyed so many of Ruth Reichl's previous books and I JUST got my Kindle, so I was really excited to make this my first purchase. Sigh, I was so excited, I didn't realize it was a slim, slim volume. 128 pages or so. I finished it in about an hour. This should have been an article in the New Yorker, not a book. Glad I didn't pay to have the hardcover. It was a nice little story, but again, not a book, more an essay. Ah well, I will wait for the next one to come out.

A magazine article, not a book
I bought this on the Kindle, so I had no idea how short it was. If I had, I wouldn't have purchased it. I'm a big fan of Reichl's books, and am very puzzled why she's published this. As I read it, I kept wondering when the real book was going to start. It's a prelude, or a magazine article, not a book. Save your money and get it from the library; it's not worth the price.