Product Description

With over a quarter million copies in print, You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?! is one of the bestselling books on attention deficit disorder (ADD) ever written. There is a great deal of literature about children with ADD. But what do you do if you have ADD and aren't a child anymore? This indispensable reference -- the first of its kind written for adults with ADD by adults with ADD -- focuses on the experiences of adults, offering updated information, practical how-tos and moral support to help readers deal with ADD. It also explains the diagnostic process that distinguishes ADD symptoms from normal lapses in memory, lack of concentration or impulsive behavior. Here's what's new:

• The new medications and their effectiveness
• The effects of ADD on human sexuality
• The differences between male and female ADD -- including falling estrogen levels and its impact on cognitive function
• The power of meditation
• How to move forward with coaching

And the book still includes advice about:

• Achieving balance by analyzing one's strengths and weaknesses
• Getting along in groups, at work and in intimate and family relationships -- including how to decrease discord and chaos
• Learning the mechanics and methods for getting organized and improving memory
• Seeking professional help, including therapy and medication

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #4874 in Books
• Published on: 2006-04-25
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 480 pages

Features

• ISBN13: 9780743264488
• Condition: NEW
• Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.
• Click here to view our Condition Guide and Shipping Prices

Review
John Ratey, M.D. coauthor of Driven to Distraction A much needed addition to the ADD bookshelf. -- Review

About the Author
Kate Kelly, diagnosed in 1989, is a clinical specialist in psychiatric nursing who currently gives presentations and leads therapy groups for ADD adults.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Chapter 1

From the Porch to the Printed Page: A Reader's Guide to Understanding This Book

Dear Reader:

Please don't skip this section! Although it's really a preface, we've written it as a separate chapter. We thought that many of our readers might approach a new book the way we do -- by skipping the miscellaneous pages and jumping right into the good stuff! But the information in this brief section is too important to gloss over. It will help answer some of the questions you may have as you go along.

Over two years ago, we sat on a porch swing and shared our vision for this book. Our original ideas took the form of a three page outline which became our framework throughout the writing process. Many long days and countless revisions later, our original Porch Swing Planning session evolved into the book you are about to read.

During the writing process, our vision changed little from our original outline. The chapter you are reading now is the only addition. We chose to add this section to share with our readers the underlying philosophy that guided our writing and the decisions we made regarding the book's format.

In the Introduction, we explained our goal of writing a book an ADD adult could use to understand and manage her disorder. We wanted this book to be practical and easy to read for anyone with specific reading and language deficits. To that end, we chose an informal writing style and worked hard to minimize the complexity of some rather complicated scientific concepts. We also included numerous cartoons to make the text more understandable.

We would like to comment on the organization of this book before you begin reading the three chapters that follow and question what we just said about ease of reading! During the editing process, we agonized over these early chapters that aren't as easy to read as the rest of the book. They are densely packed with rather technical information that is difficult to simplify. We didn't want to lose readers who might react in one or more of the following ways: 1. "Have I been tricked? Is this a text book? I thought it was going to be a practical, self-help book!" 2. "I've already read this information in several other books." 3. "How is this book going to help me if I can't understand the first chapter?"

We considered a variety of options from eliminating some of the information to reorganizing the format. We concluded that none of the options would solve the problem. We knew that our readers would have varying levels of knowledge about ADD and that some would need an in-depth introduction to the disorder. We were also keenly aware of the curiosity of ADDers who don't often accept suggestions without first asking, "But why?" We decided that without this background information, the anecdotes and practical suggestions that followed wouldn't make much sense. So we chose to leave the format alone and to offer the following guidelines.

If you've already done extensive reading in ADD, you might want to just browse these chapters. If you're new to ADD, just hang in there with the early chapters, taking them at your own pace and allowing time to digest the material. If you get really bored or befuddled, take a break! We promise the going will get easier and later chapters will take a look at the lighter, more practical side of ADD.

We also want to explain how we deal with the issue of sexist language in this book. The seeming erratic use of "he" and "she" isn't an editing error! We chose to alternate the use of male and female pronouns by chapters. As you will discover as you read this book, ADD isn't just a problem for boys and men. The assumption that the majority of ADDers are male has been challenged as knowledge about ADD has grown. Since this book is for all of you, men and women alike, we wanted to make the language as inclusive as possible. So, the odd numbered chapters use female pronoun references and the even chapters, male. By the way, there is no significance, other than a flip of a coin, for beginning with she instead of he! Paralleling this issue of sexist language, we have also tried to avoid stereotypes, including examples of both men and women in non-traditional roles. This seems appropriate, particularly since ADDers tend to be rather non-traditional folk.

Finally, we want to include a word of caution. In reviewing the book, a nationally known ADD expert raised an important issue. He voiced his concern that every adult who read it could identify with the described ADD behaviors and make a self-diagnosis of ADD. This concern is valid. In our work with classroom teachers, many report that the manifestations of ADD characterize every child in their classrooms!

We want to emphasize that ADD is a complicated syndrome with diverse symptoms of varying degrees of severity. It isn't surprising that educators observe ADD behaviors in many of their students because the symptoms of ADD are an exaggeration of behaviors and experiences that fall within the normal human range. Anyone can sometimes have lapses in memory, act impulsively or have difficulty concentrating. The problem with ADD is one of degree and persistence of the symptoms over time and across varying situations. ADDers have symptoms that begin in childhood and cause significant problems in school, work and relationships.

Another part of the diagnostic dilemma is that various mental health problems have symptoms that overlap those of ADD. For example, people with schizophrenia or depression have information processing problems similar to ADD adults but often to a greater degree. Virtually all mental health problems interfere with organization and information processing. So, it's not hard to imagine ADD becoming the new bandwagon everyone wants to jump on. We can picture the consternation of mental health professionals confronted with offices filled with people demanding treatment for the ADD they've self-diagnosed.

We can't emphasize enough that a diagnosis is not a do-it-yourself enterprise. A person with schizophrenia, for example, might have attention deficits but her treatment would be radically different from that of an ADDer. Using stimulant medication in her treatment would likely have the effect of dramatically worsening her condition. The point is, an accurate diagnosis is an essential component of treatment.

This book isn't a scholarly, diagnostic manual. Several excellent books of that kind are available and are listed in the appendix. If you're reading this book because you suspect you have ADD, follow the guidelines in Chapter 6. Develop a relationship with a professional who can provide a formal evaluation and diagnosis.

We don't believe, however, that an official ADD diagnosis is a prerequisite for reading this book. Individuals with other mental health problems and those without symptoms sufficiently severe to be considered ADD, can benefit from some of this material. Many of the self-help strategies are useful with or without a specific diagnosis. For example, a reader doesn't have to know why she is disorganized to benefit from some of our suggestions in Chapter 13. In addition, we hope that spouses, friends and colleagues of ADDers and other adults who struggle with related problems will read this book and develop greater sensitivity to individuals with special needs. We can all benefit from understanding how glitches in brain processes can wreak havoc in the daily lives of many people.

Finally, we hope that you'll find this book enjoyable and informative. If our readers have half as much fun reading it as we have had writing it, we will have accomplished our mission. We welcome your comments, personal experiences or anything else you would like to share with us.

Sincerely,
Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo

Copyright © 1993 by Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo

Customer Reviews

Know you're smart but think you're nuts? Then read this!
I first bought this book strictly because of it's title. Having spent 45 years feeling crazy & stupid and being accused of laziness most of my life, I decided this book was for me. I didn't realize how very right I was! When I started to read I realized I was reading about myself. I identified with many of the descriptions of ADD from childhood through to adulthood. It was incredible to learn I was not alone in my daily frustration. This wonderful, informative book started me on a road of self-discovery. I was subsequently tested and diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder. The authors describe this "disability" as an "ADD-ed dimension" and they are so right! I now have self-esteem and self pride. My intelligence has been tested and verified .. I'm not lazy, crazy or stupid and I thank the authors of this book for that discovery. This book has changed my life. I can now read a page without losing my place. I don't forget what I'm saying or lose things as often. I have learned that I am one of many who use an additional area of my brain & must therefore learn to "process things differently". I no longer feel timid, ashamed, afraid or just plain different. I can now accept and like myself for the first time in my life.

This book is written in a very "easy-reading" style. There is a wonderful blending of research facts and referenced stories and quips. As an adult diagnosed with ADD at the age of 45, I can attest to the value of this book. I highly recommend "You mean I'm not lazy, stupid or crazy" to anyone who has ever felt they were!

Needs updating
While reading some of the previous reviews, I saw one that mentioned "contemporary science" - written in 1999. The first Amazon.com customer review for this book is from 1997. If I'd read it then, I would have rated it higher. But a book that deals with anything medical needs to be updated long before it's a decade old, which this one now is. The chapter on medication is completely outdated; it shouldn't be referred to by anyone who wants to know what options are available now. And while all the scientific/medical questions about ADD/ADHD haven't been answered, more is known now than when this book was written.

The fact that this book has helped many people understand themselves better is great, and I'm not one who equates wanting to understand yourself with looking for excuses. This book has been recommended not only doctor to patient but friend to friend for a long time, and what it has can be helpful - the reason I gave it three stars. But I hope a second edition isn't being held back by the fact that the first one is still being recommended and purchased; it could be so much better if the information were updated.

I personally had a more general problem with the book, which may also be related to its age. I'm primarily inattentive type ADD, and felt like I was a real outsider while reading this book. Some things applied to me, but a lot didn't. And anytime there was a statement like, "We all remember from our childhood..." I'd think, "Nope. Not me." Not that there's anything wrong with a book aimed at people with combined or primarily hyperactive ADD, and I didn't take away a star because of it, but "nowadays" that would probably be stated more clearly in the information about the book, or even on the cover. But back in 1996, that might have been less likely. (I told my doctor that reading this book reminded me of my experience of going to a support group for people with depression and being the only unipolar one there. You're "supposed to" fit in, and you kind of do, but not really.)

If this is the first book about ADD someone reads, it would be eye-opening, and it was probably the best around 10 years ago. But I don't think that's true anymore. A second edition of it would be very useful.

A TERRIFIC resource!
"You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy! " belongs on the bedside table of every ADDer and of every parent, spouse or teacher who is trying to understand the ADDers in their lives. It was cutting edge when it was written and its information is still right on target.

As an ADDer, ADD Coach, and founder of a company that trains ADD Coaches, I not only recommend "Lazy/Crazy" to anyone who asks for an ADD book recommendation, it has been required reading for OFI's 18-month ADD Coach Training program since the first beta classes in 1994. (Kate joined us several years later and is now President of OFI; Peggy joined us in 1999 and now heads up OFI's Sliding-Scale Coaching Clinic -- all the more reason I can recommend this book WITHOUT reservation!)

An extremely readable book, obviously written from an "insiders" viewpoint, this book made me feel understood and validated -- like great advice from good friends. When I stumbled across it on the "New Books" table at a large Manhattan Bookstore (before I had met either of these authors) I started reading immediately. It was almost an hour before I finally forced myself to close the book, pay for it, and take it home. My copy is well-worn and multi-colored from all the highlighting I do to focus my attention.

DO take the time, as the authors advise, to carefully read the first chapter. Although it is a little "heavier" reading than the rest of the book, the ADD information it provides will prove well worth the concentration it may take to go through it.

(Helpful Hint: If your dominant modality is visual you will either LOVE the graphics or hate them. For my clients in the latter group, a sticky-note covering the graphics allowed them to focus more easily on the text.)

Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, MCC -- founder & CEO of The Optimal Functioning Institute™