Strange Bedpersons
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Average customer review:Product Description
Tess Newhart knows her ex-boyfriend Nick Jamieson isn't the right guy for her. He's caviar and champagne; she's take-out Chinese pot stickers. He's an uptight Republican lawyer; she was raised in a commune. He wants to get ahead in business; she just wants…him. But there's no way Tess will play second fiddle to his job.
Yet somehow she finds herself agreeing to play his fiancée on a weekend business trip that could make or break Nick's career. And while he's trying to convince Tess that he needs her in his respectable world, Tess is doing her best to keep her opinions to herself and her hands off Nick.
Product Details
- Amazon Sales Rank: #91837 in Books
- Published on: 2009-11-24
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Binding: Mass Market Paperback
- 256 pages
Features
- ISBN13: 9780373774081
- Condition: NEW
- Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.
- Click here to view our Condition Guide and Shipping Prices
Editorial Reviews
Review
"Crusie seems incapable of writing a boring page or one that's not aglow with sparks of wit and romance." --Kirkus Reviews
"Crusie seems incapable of writing a boring page."
--Kirkus Reviews (Kirkus Review )
Review
"Crusie seems incapable of writing a boring page."
-- Kirkus Reviews (Kirkus Review )
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
When Tess Newhart threw open her apartment door, Nick Jamieson was standing there—tall, dark, successful and suspiciously happy to see her, his pleasantly blunt face a nice human contrast to his perfectly tailored suit. She stared at him warily, fighting down the ridiculous jolt of relief and happiness and lust that welled up in her just because he was back.
Then he threw his arms wide to hug her.
"Tess!" he said, beaming at her. "You look great!"
Tess looked down at her sagging, bleach-splotched sweatshirt and faded blue sweatpants, the hems shrunk to midcalf on her long legs. So much for relief, happiness and lust. She rolled her eyes at him, all her suspicions confirmed. "Right." She slammed the door in his face and shot home both dead bolts.
"Aw, come on, Tess," Nick called through the door. "It's been a month. Actually it's been a month, a week and two days, but who's counting? All right, I'm counting. I miss you. I keep calling but you won't call me back. Is that fair? I think we should talk about this."
"I don't," Tess said firmly to the door, but her face was uncertain as she ran her fingers through her short red curls. If Nick hadn't had such a large streak of calculating rat running through him, he would have been just what she needed at the moment, instead of the last thing she needed. But there was that streak of rat, and if he was at her door being charming it was because he wanted something. And the something probably wasn't her. It was something to do with money, promotion, status or all of the above. She shook her head, newly determined, and turned back to cross the threadbare gray carpeting to her chair and her conversation.
"Who's the wise guy? Your landlord?" Gina DeCosta sprawled on Tess's lumpy couch, a symphony in black: her unruly black hair falling into her eyes, her small body lost in a huge black T-shirt, and her legs wrapped in black leggings as tight as Ace bandages. She stretched out those legs tentatively and winced.
"Worse." Tess flopped down into her decrepit armchair, which groaned under her weight, and slung her long legs over the side. "You know, every time I think my life has hit bottom, somebody lowers the bottom."
Nick pounded on the door. "Come on, Tess. Open up."
"Who is that guy?" Gina said.
"Nick, but I don't want to talk about it," Tess said, forestalling Gina before she could leap into the breach. "Between him and my landlord, I may never open that door again." Tess patted her lap, and a huge black cat jumped into her arms, reclaiming the territory she'd lost when Tess had gone to answer the door. "Sorry, Angela," Tess murmured to the cat.
"Tess?" Nick called. "Come on. Let's be adult about this. Or you can be adult and I'll fake it. Tess?"
Gina frowned at the door. "Why are you ducking Nick?"
"Well," Tess said, and thought for a minute. "It's like this." She stood up, dumping the cat off her lap again. "I answered the door and he said—" she flung her arms wide and beamed a toothpaste smile at Gina "—Tess, you look great!"
Gina looked at Tess's sweats. "Uh-oh."
"Exactly." Tess flopped back into her chair. "You know, every time I see Nick, my mind looks at him and says, 'Yes, he's fun, but he's also a power-hungry rat, so stay away from him,' and then my body looks at him and says, 'Hello, gorgeous, come to Mama.'" She shook her head. "I have to have a long talk with my body."
Gina looked at the sweats again. "I don't think it's gonna listen to you. If you dressed me like that, I wouldn't listen to you."
"Forget the clothes," Tess said. "You're starting to sound like Nick."
"Okay. New topic. Why are you waiting for your landlord?"
"I reported him to the housing commission." Tess smiled, visibly cheered up by the thought.
"Well, that was unfriendly," Gina said. "What did he do?"
"It's what he didn't do." Tess shifted in her chair as she warmed to the story of her landlord's crimes. "Three apartments in this building have been vandalized in the past two months, and Ray won't even fix the lock on the hall door. Anybody can walk in here. Somebody had to do something." She grinned at Gina. "And, I thought, who better than me?"
"Tess?" Nick called again. "It's not safe out here. If I get mugged because you're playing hard to get, you'll never forgive yourself."
Both women turned to look at the door, and then Gina looked at Tess. Tess shrugged.
"Okay," Gina said, abandoning the subject of Nick. "So you did something. That's no big surprise. I'm just amazed you did something as calm as reporting him."
"Well, I thought about organizing a candlelight-vigil protest march," Tess said, starting to grin again. "I thought all the tenants could light candles and march on Ray's condominium, but this place is such a firetrap I knew we'd never make it to the front door alive, so then I thought about using Bic lighters, instead, but that made me think of Stanley across the hall."
"Stanley?"
"You've never seen Stanley?" Tess's grin widened. "Stanley always wears the same T-shirt and it doesn't cover his tummy, and Stanley's tummy is not attractive. In fact…" Tess's face took on a faraway look. "In fact, Stanley's stomach is the only one I've ever seen with a five-o'clock shadow." She frowned at Gina. "Do you suppose he shaves it?"
Gina made a face. "That's gross."
"I think so, too, which is why I couldn't picture Stanley with a Bic. A torch, yes. A Bic, no." Tess smiled again. "But then I thought, why not give Stanley a pitchfork and put him at the head of the march?" She stopped to visualize it. "You know, there's a lot of Quasimodo in Stanley."
"Come on, Tess, cut me a break here," Nick called. "I came back to apologize. Doesn't that count for something?"
Gina raised an inquiring eyebrow at Tess, but Tess shook her head, so Gina returned to Stanley and the pitchfork. "I don't think Quasimodo had a pitchfork," she said. "He didn't in the movie."
"Anyway, I finally had to get serious before somebody around here got hurt," Tess said. "So I acted like an adult and filed the report."
"Good choice," Gina said. "Getting arrested for pitchforking Stanley would probably have been bad for your career."
"Well, actually my career is sort of dead right now." Tess slumped down in her chair. "I wasn't going to tell you since this is your first night back from the tour and I was looking forward to one night without trauma, but… I lost my job."
"Oh, no." Gina sat up, her face bleak with sympathy and concern. "What happened?"
"Don't panic," Tess said from the depths of her chair. "I have a plan."
"Sure you do," Gina said. "What happened?"
"Funding cuts. The education governor we elected decided that supporting private-tutoring foundations wasn't educational. So now the Foundation is going to have to only use volunteers. Eventually the whole place may go."
"Tess, I'm really sorry," Gina said. "Really. I know how much those kids meant to you."
"Hey." Tess straightened and glared at Gina with mock severity. "I'm not finished yet. The kids aren't leaving. And neither am I. I just have to find a job to pay my bills that gives me my afternoons free so I can still volunteer there." She grinned. "I saw Pretty Woman the other night on TV, and Julia Roberts was having such a good time being objectified by Richard Gere that I seriously thought about taking up hooking, but then I thought, thirty-six is a little old to hit the streets."
Nick knocked again. "Tess? You want me to grovel? I'll grovel. I've got a great grovel. You've never seen my grovel—you left before I could show it to you. Come on, Tess, let me in."
Gina jerked her head toward the door. "If you're thinking about swapping your bod for money, go answer the door. He's still loaded, right?"
Tess nodded. "I haven't checked lately, but knowing Nick and his affinity for money, he's still loaded."
"Marry him," Gina said.
"No," Tess said.
"Why not?"
"Well, to begin with, he hasn't asked me," Tess answered. "Andhe's a Republican lawyer, so my mother would disown me. And then—" Tess frowned "—I always thought it would be a good idea to marry somebody who wouldn't try to pick up the maid of honor at the reception. Call me crazy but—"
"Since that would be me, you got no worries. Marry him."
"You don't know Nick," Tess said. "He could seduce Mother Teresa." She cocked her head toward the door and listened for a moment. "And it doesn't seem to be an option anymore. I think he got tired and left." She tried hard not to be disappointed. After all, she'd had no intention of opening the door anyway.
Still, it wasn't like Nick to give up that fast, dangerous hallway or not. He must not have missed her that much, after all.
Damn.
Nick leanedagainst the wall outside Tess's door and analyzed the situation. Pounding was obviously not getting him anyplace, and his charm was bombing, too, which was a new experience for him. What the hell was wrong here? Maybe she was still mad, but she couldn't be that mad. Not Tess. Tess erupted all over the place and then forgot about it. She'd never sulked in her life. So there was something else keeping her from falling at his feet. Nick grinned at the thought. Okay, she'd never fallen at his feet. But she'd never slammed a door in his face, either.
She was upset about something.
That wasn't good. He liked Tess, and the thought of her being unhappy bothered him. He spared a fleeting thought of concern for her and then...
Customer Reviews
Still Works Well
The characters in this story are a bit dated: he's a Republican yuppie lawyer aiming to be made a partner in his law firm, and she's a commune-raised, out-of-work, liberal educator. The book was published in 1994 so that explains it. But even so, this is another funny and entertaining book by Ms. Cruisie, with sharply drawn characters and crisp dialogue.
I intially wasn't drawn to Tess Newhart - she's in her mid-thirties and still living in a thrift-store-furnished apartment, getting involved with protests, etc. My first reaction was "grow up already". But the more I read the more I liked her and felt in sympathy with her. Nick Jamieson is more than the standard smooth-talking lawyer he appears to be, even if it seems as though making partner is his sole goal in life. There is some classic rapid-fire dialogue between Tess and Nick, and the "conversations" Nick has with his secretary Christine are worth the price of the book alone. Secondary plots concern an unsuitable romance between Tess and Nick's best friends (a retired chorus girl and a well-heeled partner in the law firm), and a possible case of literary plagerism.
Tess and Nick's relationship is both humorous and romantic, their sexual encounters are inventive and sensual, and the secondary characters round out the story nicely. This is a book worth finding.
Strange BedPERSONS!!
Having read a couple of Cruise's newer books such as `FAST WOMEN' and `FAKING IT' I decided that I wanted to read some of her earlier works so I purchased `STRANGE BEDPERSONS' and `MANHUNTING'. The writing styles of the latter are so different from those of the former it is almost hard to believe that the same person wrote them, however, while I wasn't thrilled with `MANHUNTING' I really enjoyed `STRANGE BEDPERSONS' despite the difference in style.
The relationship between Nick and Tess was endearing and it was fun watching these two completely opposite people develop a fling into something much more. I also enjoyed the relationship between the secondary characters Gina, Tess' best friend, and Park, Nick's colleague and long time friend. More over, I liked the fact that there was an actual story here, not just watching two people fall in love. I felt for Nick who was fighting to make partner in his law firm and the highly liberal Tess who was torn between the Nick she saw at home and Nick the social climber. I noticed that a lot of people gave this book poor reviews but, call me a sucker for a good "opposites attract" love story; I give it four stars!
A big disappointment
I'm a big fan of Jennifer Crusie's - I think Welcome to Temptation is one of the best romance novels ever - but this book really doesn't work, even allowing for the fact that it's rather dated. The plot is a mess and the characterisation is so unsubtle that after a while you want to scream: 'Okay, Jennifer, I got it! He's sexy but straightlaced, she's sexy but flaky ... you don't have to keep hammering the point home.' I was so bored with Strange Bedpersons that I found myself skipping bits of it -and I never thought I'd say that about a Crusie novel.



