 | Trojan Condoms and Naughty Novelties Variety Pack
Buy new: $16.99 If Receiving: "Uh. Gee, thanks, Mom."
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 | The Complete Poetry and Essential Prose of John Milton (Modern Library) by John Milton
Buy new: $34.65 / Used from: $29.35 If Receiving: "Wow! Milton, huh? Thanks. I, uh, I always wanted to quote Milton and seem smug and superior. Thanks for letting me know how intelligent and great you are by proxy of your pretentious gift. Hey, did I just say that out loud? It must be the booze that Dave gave me earlier. By the way, I really, really like booze gifts, for future reference."
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 | Shrek (Full Screen Single Disc Edition)
Buy new: $9.99 / Used from: $7.99 If Giving: "Your mom told me about how you're always making funny jokes, and I thought you could relate to Shrek because he's also always making jokes and is pretty fat as well. Not that you're fat. I mean, he's jolly. Jolly is good. It's funny... it's a funny movie. Mike Myers is pretty funny. Okay so I bet you are starving for some cake, huh?"
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 | Beano Food Enzyme Dietary Supplement Tablets, 100-Count Bottles, (Pack of 2)
Buy new: $29.95 If Receiving: "This is great because, not only am I horribly gassy, but also I'm a big fan of enzymes. As a matter of fact, I've got a few enzymes in my body right now! And these 200 pills will last me at least through the week."
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 | Mama's Family - The Complete First Season
Buy new: $25.99 / Used from: $9.50 If giving: "I found this for only a dollar! Can you believe it! It's supposed to be some sort of documentary."
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 | The Secret by Rhonda Byrne
Buy new: $11.97 / Used from: $3.75 If Receiving: "Oh I heard about this on Oprah and all my friends say it's second only to Scientology and the myth of Bigfoot, whatever that means."
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 | The Hormonally Vulnerable Woman : Relief at last for PMS, mood swings, fatigue, hair loss, adult acne, unwanted hair, female pain, migraine, weight gain, ... all the problems of perimenopause by Geoffrey Redmond
Buy new: $10.38 / Used from: $7.46 If Receiving: "I AM NOT PMSING YOU THOUGHTLESS JERK. RRRAAAARRRHHHHHHHH!"
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