Product Description

Out of nowhere, like a fresh breeze in a marketplace crowded with advice on what to believe, comes Byron Katie and what she calls “The Work.” In the midst of a normal life, Katie became increasingly depressed, and over a ten-year period sank further into rage, despair, and thoughts of suicide. Then one morning, she woke up in a state of absolute joy, filled with the realization of how her own suffering had ended. The freedom of that realization has never left her, and now in Loving What Is you can discover the same freedom through The Work.

The Work is simply four questions that, when applied to a specific problem, enable you to see what is troubling you in an entirely different light. As Katie says, “It’s not the problem that causes our suffering; it’s our thinking about the problem.” Contrary to popular belief, trying to let go of a painful thought never works; instead, once we have done The Work, the thought lets go of us. At that point, we can truly love what is, just as it is.

Loving What Is will show you step-by-step, through clear and vivid examples, exactly how to use this revolutionary process for yourself. You’ll see people do The Work with Katie on a broad range of human problems, from a wife ready to leave her husband because he wants more sex, to a Manhattan worker paralyzed by fear of terrorism, to a woman suffering over a death in her family. Many people have discovered The Work’s power to solve problems; in addition, they say that through The Work they experience a sense of lasting peace and find the clarity and energy to act, even in situations that had previously seemed impossible.

If you continue to do The Work, you may discover, as many people have, that the questioning flows into every aspect of your life, effortlessly undoing the stressful thoughts that keep you from experiencing peace. Loving What Is offers everything you need to learn and live this remarkable process, and to find happiness as what Katie calls “a lover of reality.”


From the Hardcover edition.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #824 in Books
• Published on: 2003-12-23
• Released on: 2003-12-23
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 352 pages

Amazon.com
Remember the phrase "question authority"? Loving What Is is a workbook on questioning authority--but in this case, what is in question is the authority of our own fundamental beliefs about our relationships.

Known simply as "The Work," Byron Katie's methods are clean and straightforward. The basis is a series of four questions addressed to your own lists of written assumptions. Whether you're angry with your boss, frustrated with your teen's behavior, or appalled at the state of the world's environment, Katie suggests you write down your most honest thoughts on the matter, and then begin the examination. Starting with, "Is it true?" and continuing with explorations of "Who would you be without that thought?" this method allows you to get through unhelpful preconceptions and find peace. An integral part of the process is "turning the thought around," and at first this can seem like you're simply blaming yourself for everything. Push a little harder, and you'll find a very responsible acceptance of reality, beyond questions of fault and blame.

The book is filled with examples of folks applying The Work to a variety of life situations, and reading other's examples gets the idea across pretty clearly; chances are you'll find your own frustrations echoed on the pages a few times. Many chapters are divided into specific topics, such as couples, money, addictions, and self-judgments, with one chapter devoted to exploring the method with children.

Questioning your own authority is never an easy process, but it seems well worth the potential rewards--stress-free choices, peace, and affection for those closest to you. --Jill Lightner

From Library Journal
A thrice-married housewife and mother of three who once suffered from depression, Katie presents what she calls "the Work," a series of questions to help alter bad thinking patterns and reveal painful truths. So that readers might see the method in action, she has reproduced edited dialogs among herself and participants at her workshop. Direct and easy to follow, her book could indeed produce results for readers battling run-of-the-mill work and relationship problems. However, Katie and coauthor/husband Mitchell, a translator of the Bhagavad Gita, would like their audience to believe that this is heads above a standard self-help book: in Mitchell's compelling introduction, he compares Katie's process to the Socratic method and the Zen Koan and posits that it will enhance any other program or religion. These are heady claims, and it's up to the reader to decide whether the authors deliver on their promises. With the publicity campaign and author tour, there will likely be demand in public libraries. Susan Burdick, MLS, Reading, PA
Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

From AudioFile
In a well-organized combination of lecture material and live audience interactions with the principal author, we're taught that we can control disappointments and resentments we feel toward others. Instead of getting stuck with these feeling, we can ask ourselves four questions that convert the pain into "the work" we need to do on ourselves. With warm and nicely chosen interventions with audience members, the authors demonstrate the essentials of accepting realities in others we can't change. It's a hard-charging message, at times relentless, that will shake up any listeners whose lives are held up because of nagging blame or anger toward others. T.W. © AudioFile 2002, Portland, Maine-- Copyright © AudioFile, Portland, Maine

Customer Reviews

Loving What Is...in this book! A Psychiatrist sings highest praise for The Work of Byron Katie.
As a Board Certified Psychiatrist who uses The Work Of Bryon Katie in my practice, I can say that after 23 years of learning and doing psychotherapy with people, I have found nothing faster or more powerful to recondition the mind/brain than The Work. It is deceptively simple and puts us face to face with our very identification with our story of a self. The Work stimulates growth like no other "shadow" practice, it doesn't need a therapist, and it can be combined with any other practice that suits you. I also think that when we have the neurobiological research to prove it that we will find that TW accelerates the healing and rewiring of dysregulated states better than any psychopharmacolgic treatment (which can still be used by those doing The Work). All of Katie's books point to aspects of The Work and all are worthwhile reading.
Debra London @ www.rightbrainpsychiatry.com

Helpful somewhat, but also has some large blind spots
I liked the way she described: your business, other people's business and God's business--tremendously helpful to think of things in this manner.
The book is basically cognitive therapy--re-think your thoughts. Is it true? How do you know? etc.. There's some usefullness to that.
The problem I have with this book is with the one example of child abuse where the adult, through her dialogue with the author, comes to say "I abused myself." Then, "I abused him' (the abuser). I really don't understand how anyone could accept this, except that it's easier to feel that you were in control of the situation rather than accept the truth. Can anyone reading this book say it is truthful to say that children who are sexually abused are: 1.)abusing themselves 2.)abusing the abuser? I would like to hear their thoughts about this.
Also, that "we never can harm another." This isn't true. We can and do. If we believe this, we are free, but free from the truth.
If we believe that there are no evil acts or people, only in our thoughts, I think we're just not being honest or truthful.
Yet, I do find some value in this book--it can reframe what you think about some things.

this book is dangerous
I wish I had never read this book. I was bought into the idea of her "enlightenment" and being a perfectionist really tried to make it work for me. I suffer from anxiety disorder and tried to use "the work" on it and it has made it so much worse.

There are some scary premises in here: that people "are being thought and breathed" and that we can't drop a thought or belief except through her inquiry. These ideas take away personal choice and sometimes inquiry doesn't work. Beliefs and thoughts can be changed through life experiences and also through other methods like cognitive behavioral therapy (which I more recommend).

I've read all of her books and it astounds me has she has no emotion over he mothers death or the fact that she herself was going blind. She accepted her blindness so much that she didn't even take action to try to correct it. It was her husband that found her the help. I want to feel emotions so that they can guide me and lead me to take action. I want to grieve when people I love die. I don't want to "turn it around". I want to believe in god and that he directing my life in a very personal way, not that I am being "breathed and thought" in a collective human consciousness way.

I have also seen her in person and have seen how some did not get it when she worked with them or how they misinterpreted it and had more pain.

Inquiry worked for me when I was having trouble potty training my daughter and it might be helpful when dealing with confusion over others behavior, but overall it can be dangerous, and I think there are better methods out there to get to acceptance and peace.

Personally, this book has caused me so much more pain, that I wish I had never read it and now need to recover from it. I hope this review helps someone else avoid the unneccesary pain I've experienced through the work.

I have learned from this, that self help needs to be taken with a grain of salt and I need to evaluate the author and their training, and also not accept what others say so blindly, even if they claim to be "enlightened". I need to check it out with my own truth and god.