Product Description

This book is a very helpful tool for those who are planning to adopt an older child. The interviews and stories present a realistic picture of the challenges and opportunities that adoptive parents of older children must face.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #1085573 in Books
• Published on: 1998-02-25
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 180 pages

Customer Reviews

Honest but extreme
I was glad to read this book AFTER adopting two older children but would hesitate to recommend it right away to individuals considering adopting older kids. The author adopted 3 older children herself and interviewed 17 other adoptive families for this book. Her book is full of true scenarios about family life with older adoptees, and many of them are horror strories about kids with severe behavior problems. (Some of these stories are repeated more than once in different sections of the book, reinforcing the problem aspect of older child adoption.) I had to wonder if the author, Robinson, has described her own experience under the pseudonym of "Hope Walker," a case example in the book, whose 3 adopted children all needed extensive residential care. It would seem her purpose in writing the book is to make a case for the necessity of strong/er supports for people who adopt older children (a stance with which I agree), rather than to provide basic info. for prospective adoptive parents and offer the hope that at least some older adopted children heal and begin to thrive in their adoptive families. (Robinson suggests that kids adopted by their first or second set of foster parents tend to do much better than kids having more placements.) It would have been helpful to find out how Robinson drew her sample of other adoptive families. It seemed to me to be less representative of the gamut of older child adoption experiences than it was cautionary of potential dangers. I also would have liked a summary at the end of the book, indicating how the kids described in the book are functioning currently, or as adults. That kind of info. might have provided a balancing factor, showing that issues treated in childhood or adolescence can lead to healthier functioning in the future. Chapter 8 was outstanding, offering advice on the educational and therapeutic needs of many older adopted children. I'd like to see it used as part of the required training for prospective foster and adoptive parents. We've come a long way from the days of Claudia Jewett's book on older child adoption, which presented ideal (and fictitious) case studies in which problems were not severe and fairly fleeting. Robinson's book may be more realistic, but I found Adopting the Hurt Child by Gregory Keck more helpful and reassuring, and more representative of the spectrum of what one may encounter in adopting an older child.

Potential Adoptive Parent
Wow.....my husband and I just started our home study for an older child adoption, and this is the first book we read on the subject. Grace Robinson is very discouraging. She provides NO redeaming reasons why anybody would want to adopt an older child. However, the book prompted us to have many long conversations about this searious endeavour we are undertaking, weather our marriage and extended family could handle adoption, etc. It encouraged us to look for even more books on the subject, and seek an adoptive parent's club for more perspective.

Adopt an older child, its not easy, but it's rewarding!
Grace, paints a rather grim picture of what is to come, however, I think many of these are some worst case issues. If the Parent or Parents are informed on the child's issues and have done the needed research on each issue, as well as on what they want and need then it can work out great. Esp if you put the child's needs first, and that is one thing Grace does touch on! The child must be the most important thing in your life at that time. How many parents would hold a 12 yr old and give her a bottle, but with RAD, that is one of the bonding issues, and a way to help the bonding... If this book did not scare you away, then take the next step and start the process of adpting an older child.