A Guide For Fathers: When A Baby Dies
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Average customer review:Product Description
This pocket sized book is for men who experience the death of their infant child -- whether it be miscarriage, stillbirth or early infant death. Meant to be a guide during the early hours and days after finding out the news of their baby's death, the book offers suggestions for communicating with medical caregivers, offering support to their partner, telling the news to other children, making funeral arrangements and taking care of themselves in a time of crisis. It goes on to talk about effective communications during the weeks and months following the loss, going to a support group, returning to the workplace, and the issues surrounding a subsequent pregnancy.
Product Details
- Amazon Sales Rank: #137887 in Books
- Published on: 2004-11-30
- Binding: Paperback
- 68 pages
Editorial Reviews
Review
I bought your [book] after our twins died over a year ago. Out of everything we read, my husband felt that your words were the ones that most spoke to him. Thank you for putting out something- small, simple, and meaningful- for dads who are not only dealing with the feelings of their wives, but also suffer their own, unique grief. --fathersgrievinginfantloss.blogspot.com
The support and assistance that you offer to other parents touches people every day in ways you cannot possibly know. We have been providing a copy of A Guide for Fathers to our families for several years, and it has been such a gift to both women and men. Men that attend our support group meetings often quote from it. They say that if the dads read only one thing, that should be it. --Perinatal Loss Clinician, Atlanta, GA
From the Author
The suggestions found in this booklet are based not only on my personal experience following the stillbirth of my daughter, Kathleen, but include issues other dad's have shared with me as I've spoken at support groups and conferences around the United States. While each father will process their grief in their unique way, this book is meant to be a guide to refer to as they make their grief journey.
About the Author
Tim Nelson was a young parent when his second child was unexpectedly stillborn. As part of his grieving process he wrote a feature newspaper article that was later published as a booklet entitled, A FatherÂ’s Story.
Tim also volunteered with the Pregnancy & Infant Loss Center, eventually serving as president of the board. As part of his work with other bereaved parents and professionals, he began speaking at conferences and caregiver training sessions on the topic of menÂ’s grief.
In the years following, the publishing company he co-owns created a division called, A Place To Remember, which publishes and distributes books and other products for families and caregivers who have been touched by a crisis in pregnancy or the death of a baby. Those resources are now sold throughout the United States, Canada and England.
Tim and his wife, Monica, have 4 living children and reside in Woodbury, Minnesota.
Customer Reviews
Great book for bereaved dads!
I bought this for hubby after we lost our son. He got a lot out of it. It helped him with his feelings and also helped him deal with me and my feelings. Its an easy simple read that says a lot in a short format. I highly suggest this to bereaved fathers.
Helping to understand what is normal
It's hard to know what is normal in abnormal situations. The death of a child is (if all goes well) a very abnormal situation for which few people are prepared. And while this guide does not do the impossible (help you and your spouse quickly get over the grief) it does let you know a few important things. First, most of what you are feeling is normal, so just go with it and don't worry about what anyone else thinks. Second, you can't solve your spouse's grief so your best bet is to be supportive and watch out for things you might do that will make things worse (things that you may think are actually helpful).
This book does not attempt to explain the psychological underpinnings of what we do in stressful times; that's not its purprose. It merely offers perspective on what the author and his wife experienced, some of the mistakes he made, and offers proof that life does go on, though certainly it will not go on as it did before.
Because it clearly was not written to climb the bestsellers lists you will not find diagrams, catchy buzzwords or any Mars and Venus stories. This is just one guys story that he hopes will help others- and after reading it, I can say it will do that.
Recommended For Men Experiencing Grief Of Their Baby
Nelson simply explains from a father's perspective, what a man and a Dad encounters as he goes through the steps of caring for his family and experiencing the devastating loss of his baby. Some of the books topics are how to explain death to children, making arrangements, going back to work, guilt and blame, anger, getting support outside of your family, communication, future pregnancies and going on in life. One topic I found important is the one on anger. Nelson addresses the issues surrounding anger and the importance of being patient with oneself. It is an easy read for busy fathers.
