Product Description

How many lesbians can dance on the head of a pin? Kinky Friedman sure as hell doesn't know, but he's learning exactly how many it takes to send the geriatric plaster tumbling from the ceiling of his downtown New York loft. The culprit is one Winnie Katz, man-hating proprietress of a lesbian dance troupe that thunders daily through his waking dreams. And when Winnie won't even give it enough of a rest to let Kinky patch the hole, our hero, lost in a blue-gray haze of Irish whiskey and cigar smoke, takes drastic action. He pens an anonymous, threatening note, hoping -- as only one lost in an alcohol-soaked fantasy can hope -- to then step in as "Ace Private Big Dick" Friedman, and save the day, thus earning the undying gratitude of Ms. Winnie.

Besides, just as Sherlock Holmes had his Watson, the Kinkster needs a suitable sidekick, and what better test? He calls on each of his Village Irregulars to solve the case: reporter Mike McGovern; Dylan look-alike Ratso Sloman; investigator Steve Rambam; and his own lady love, the delicious Stephanie Dupont. But things get dicey when the bogus death threat turns all too real, and suddenly Kinky and his Keystone crime fighters find themselves dancing -- none too daintily -- for their lives.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #496602 in Books
• Published on: 2000-09-01
• Released on: 2000-08-29
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 224 pages

Amazon.com Review
The same bizarre mixture of ingredients that has turned Kinky Friedman from a country musician into a popular mystery writer and hero of his own series continues in this exercise oddity, which, true to form, seems to contain something to offend virtually everyone. "If you spend a little time with lesbians and nuns, you begin to see the effect love or the absence of it can have on a human life," muses the Kinkster at one point. This comes after a campaign by Friedman to terrorize his upstairs neighbor, Winnie Katz, whose lesbian dance classes have caused the ceiling of his Greenwich Village loft to collapse. But Kinky's amateur terrorism pales by comparison to the mysterious person who wants to do some real damage to Winnie, so Friedman and his Village Irregulars turn from aggressors to protectors. Surrounded by Italian gangsters with names like Linguini and Gepetto, they plan a weird revenge scheme that involves such horrors as chainsaws and Friedman in a red wig.

The title--usually the best thing about a Kinkster book--has to do with which particular member of his motley crew will be officially chosen to play Watson to his Sherlock. But even here there are no clear answers: as Friedman says, "President Clinton is Watson. The Chinese dwarf who paints pastels on Mott Street is Watson. The world is Watson. Only Sherlock Holmes stands achingly alone on the weather-beaten, worm-eaten cross of rational thought. Sherlock Holmes, you see, is the thinking man's Jesus Christ."

--Dick Adler

From Publishers Weekly
Frenetic amateur PI Kinky Friedman is up to his old tricks in this campy mixture of bawdy surrealism and Tom Sawyerish pranks. Kinky's sleuthing duties have taken a decidedly sluggish turn when the roof literally comes crashing in. His upstairs neighbor, Winnie Katz, a lesbian dance instructor, has been stomping through dance routines with her students for weeks on end and all the pounding has taken its toll on Kinky's crumbling ceiling. Kinky calls in an old favor from a mob-connected friend, and suddenly finds two oafish Italian workmen at his door promising to repair the ceiling as a favor to Joey the Hyena. The Hyena is indebted to Kinky for saving his daughter from a mugger, but Kinky learns from the workmen that Joey's daughter died three years before Kinky saved her. Annoyed that his Manhattan loft is virtually under siege and by the twist in the story of the daughter, Kinky decides to divert himself by writing death threats to Winnie. In an impulsive move, Kinky takes the prank one step further by offering Winnie the services of his good friends, aka "The Village Irregulars," to ferret out the source of the threats. The five "Watsons" are no sooner ensnared in Kinky's humorous web of deceit than a real stalker appears on the scene, threatening to kill Winnie for real. All's well that ends well in this slim mystery, but the ultimate moment of truth falls flat. Hardy fans of the indomitable Friedman won't be disappointed, however, with this rollicking followup to Blast from the Past. (Sept.)
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal
A bunch of PI Kinky Friedman hangers-on are vying for the role of official sidekick, so the Kinkster suggests that they try to figure out who sent his upstairs neighbor a death threat. He doesn't realize until too late just how serious this death threat really is.
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Customer Reviews

Going Through the Motions
I think some of the other reviewers here were right on target when they suggested that Kinky missed a beat here, and that this book was strangely unsatisfying. I know these novels are formulaic and not really plot-driven, but here the plot is virtually non-existent! The action, aside from some trips to eat with the Village Irregulars, takes place almost entirely in Friedman's building on VanDam Street in NYC. There are hardly any outside characters, aside from the espresso-swilling, mob-connected plasterers working on Kinky's ceiling after Winnie's lesbian dance class causes his ceiling to crumble. Even the "mystery" of the plot is a sham, as Kinky invents an imaginary stalker of Winnie to aggravate his neighbor and sets the Irregulars in motion to help solve the identity of the stalker.

I have read a couple of other Friedman books, and maybe the repetition here is just starting to wear on me. How many times do we readers need to be reminded about how the author lights his cigars, "keeping the match just under the tip..." How many times can he make a witty observation to the cat and then claim tongue in cheek : "The cat, of course, said nothing"? That line is present at least 25 times in this book, mostly cause Kinky never leaves the apartment. Also, as a little nugget for his high-brow fans, Friedman throws in references to some of his famous readers, like Don Imus, Bill Clinton and Joseph Heller, in gratitude for their kind words I suppose.

Perhaps the most baffling part of the book, for me, was an incomprehensible aside for about 3 pages where the author describes Jesus as being the original hip Texas Jewboy, and then traces the lineage to modern hip "Jewboys" like Joseph Heller and Abbie Hoffman. I think the author had drank a little too much of his beloved Jameson's when he wrote that chapter, which could have used an editor's red pen. Plus, every Italian character in the novel had ridiculous names like Tortellini, Linguine, etc.

Anyway, for all of you devoted fans of the Kinksta, you will delight in reading about the author constantly puffing cigars, guzzling espresso and tossing down shots of Irish whiskey in his bull's horn to break the monotony. For the rest of us, there is little here to set this novel apart. I wouldn't start with this as an introduction to Friedman, The Love Song of J. Edgar Hoover was far superior in this reviewer's humble opinion.

Another great wonder from my pal Kinky
Kinky fans will not be disappointed by this latest outbreak. Spanking Watson has more excitement then previous books, and Kinky's colorful and blunt vernacular is a treat to this unique mystery. It is a must read for seasoned fans, who will have no trouble figuring out the mystery, and will draw newcommers in with great enthusiasm. It is a novel to be loved by fans and in turn hated by those idiots who have trouble comprehending the word fun.

You Never Marry the First Person You Watch Casablanca With
"Spanking Watson" is Kinky's eleventh book, and was first published in 1999. As with his other books, Kinky has cast himself as the amateur-PI hero, while some of the other characters have been based on actual friends. As with real-life, the book's Kinky is a cigar-smoking, cat-loving, espresso-guzzling, whiskey-drinking, ex-country and western performer. He shares his loft on Vandam Street with his cat - who he occasionally leaves in charge. Conversations between Kinky and the cat tend to be somewhat one-sided, while the cat consistently refuses to answer the telephone.

Winnie Katz still lives upstairs, and continues to run her lesbian dance classes. While this has never caused Kinky any serious problem before, it's been the cause of a slight inconvenience now : the constant pounding on Winnie's floor has left a rather large hole in the Kinkster's roof. Rambam, a genuine PI and Village Irregular, has arranged for two repairmen to help out - Vinnie and Gepetto, known "associates" of Joe the Hyena. Kinky had received his espresso machine several years earlier from Joe, a token of thanks for rescuing his daughter from a mugger. Vinnie and Gepetto, admiring the machine, tell Kinky there's only one problem : Joe doesn't have a daughter. Obviously, Kinky's curious - but Joe is, of course, the sort of Italian "businessman" you don't get curious about.

On a lonely Friday night, in an anger encouraged by several generous helpings of Jameson's Whiskey, Kinky writes a series of threatening letters to Winnie - never, of course,with any intention of delivering them, never mind acting on them. When Ratso catches sight of them the next day, Kinky decides to put them to good use. He would provide each of the Village Irregulars with a copy of a note, and ask for their help - while asking them to keep their investigations secret from the other members of the gang. The Irregular who successfully solved the "case" would officially become "Watson" to Kinky's "Sherlock". Of course, this plan would have the added bonus of disrupting not only Winnie's life but also her dance classes.

"Spanking Watson" has much in common with the other books by Kinky I've read. Not an entirely serious 'whodunit', it is a fast moving and easily read book. The story, I felt, is much better than his earlier books, and he still delivers his one-liners. While his quips won't be to everyone's tastes, it was a book I thoroughly enjoyed.