Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #75682 in DVD
• Released on: 2002-07-09
• Rating: R (Restricted)
• Aspect ratio: 1.33:1
• Formats: Color, DVD, Letterboxed, NTSC
• Original language: English
• Number of discs: 1
• Running time: 90 minutes

Customer Reviews

Squeeze, Don't Pull
GUNS is another installment in the Andy Sidaris magnum opus of "Bullets, Bombs, and Babes." As an overall formula it works well, but not as well as usual in this particular picture, which is a laughless letdown after HARD TICKET TO HAWAII, SAVAGE BEACH and PICASSO TRIGGER.

GUNS suffers from a surfeit of gore and not enough camp. Sidaris and Co. seem more interested in showing us blood- spattered shootouts than in showcasing the more than half dozen Playboy Playmates who comprise most of this cast.

It's very unlike Sidaris, the master of what's light and breezy, to show us a sheet-shrouded bloody corpse being loaded into an ambulance. Yet, in GUNS he does. It's dark and ugly and it shocks. The GUNS good guys are done in with such disturbing regularity that I began to think of going to casting call for the next film. Never mind the gunshots Andy, bring back the skin shots.

Dona Speir reprises her role as Donna Hamilton, the head of a supersecret Federal spy force, L.E.T.H.A.L. (Legion to Ensure Total Harmony and Law). She is partnered with Playmate Roberta Vasquez in this film. Her former partner Taryn Kendall (Playmate Hope Marie Carlton) is nowhere in evidence, and more's the pity, because if none of these women can act, at least Hope Marie had a definite screen presence.

Ms. Vasquez is about as emotive as a bag of potatoes. I was bored watching her, which just goes to show that looks aren't everything. This is true especially in regard to the two transvestite assassins (the major comic relief in what should have been a comic picture) who look like Howard Stern in high heels.

Ms. Speir too, looks unusually tired, and her performance lacks the spunkiness of her earlier Sidaris films. Of all the female leads, only Playmate Cynthia Brimhall, a statuesque redhead with a pleasant singing voice, and Playmate Devin DeVasquez, who plays the "bad girl" Cash, really catch and hold your attention.

The male "bad guy" lead is Jack of Diamonds, a gun smuggling Latin lover, played by CHiPs hunk and former TV star, Erik Estrada. It may have been Sidaris' ability to sign Estrada that undid this film. Estrada's career since CHiPs has largely gone South of the Border, but having someone on the set with a real acting resume forced some of the cast to try to keep up, a fatal mistake in any Sidaris film.

Sidaris' charm is due to cheesy dialogue and sexual innuendo mixed with beautiful people and a change-at-will plotline. The beautiful people are there and the plot is properly absent, so the fault must lie in the writing, a largely dialogueless nod to Stallone-inspired minimalism. Without the dialogue however, there are no laughs, and GUNS sinks under the weight of its silicone-enhanced cast faster than the Titanic at tea time.

This Special Edition DVD includes two installments of "Film School" in which Andy and Arlene Sidaris give us glimpses into how movies are made (and proves they do know their craft despite the "B" reputation of Andy's films). They provide us with several cast interviews, including one with the endearingly quirky Devin DeVasquez. Portions of Devin's nude videos are also included, and we get to see more of this beautiful woman than is usual in a Sidaris film. As a rule, Sidaris avoids full frontal nudity and explicit sex.

Cynthia Brimhall sings in summation that, "GUNS aren't fun, unless it's love, and then I'm the one." That pretty much sums it up.

not very goodlooking babes for T&A
Dona Speir looks tough and unpleasant, like she's been out in the hot sun way too many years, and of her co-stars only Cynthia Brimhall has any appeal and we don't see enough of her. The Sidaris formula is worn out.

Shoot ME instead, please
Not every script is perfect. Even those films labeled "the greatest" may have one or two errors or small problems that are otherwise ignorable. But this film - this film is something different. The dialogue is so bad it made Ed Wood look like David Mamet. The characters are all flat and ridiculous, with acting virtually nonexistant. To top it all off, there are plotholes in this thing you can drive an 18 wheeler through. I loved the part where they claimed that there were no fingerprints at the crime scene even though the assassin left a playing card that she touched with her bare hands.

I think I was supposed to be aroused by this film. I was laughing at it more. One of the main female cops has a mother who's a DA, but her mother looks younger than she does. This didn't help that the daughter was thrown around the screen in scantily clad clothing - sorry, but wrinkly breasts don't do it for me. And did I mention the dialogue in this thing is terrible?

"Why don't you settle down, have some babies or something?"
"I guess some people just aren't cut out for that sort of thing."
"Yeah, I guess not."

...uh...what?

"I want this area sealed off, we got some new developments."
"Where are Donna and Shane?"
"We got some new developments too."

Remind me why Hollywood is a competitive market again?

Do not watch. Really. Some of you nerds out there might be thinking this will be a fun film to watch to fill that empty shell where a socially progressive person is supposed to be, but be warned that is only if you get aroused by your college friend's mother.