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The critics have not been very kind to Crank: High Voltage. But what do they know? Here’s what this movie has going for it: gratuitous nudity, mindless violence, constant profanity, and a ridiculous storyline. Add to that stereotypes galore (gay, Asian, Latino, the neuropsychiatrically disabled, you name it), strippers with guns, a strike by porn actors (with a cameo appearance by Ron Jeremy), and a guy who refers to his heart as a "strawberry tart," and one can only wonder what’s not to like. In fact, writer-director-producers Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor’s sequel to 2006’s Crank is an absolute hoot, a non-stop assault of crazy sights and sounds that will leave you breathless and laughing. As the action starts, Jason Statham’s Chev Chelios has not only survived the fall from a helicopter that ended the earlier film, but is now on the operating table, awake and watching as some Chinese villains harvest his "tart" in order to implant it in their aging leader (a wacky turn by David Carradine). Chev quickly dispatches the bad guys, but the fun’s just starting; the mechanical ticker they’ve put inside him needs constant recharging, so as Chev pursues the real organ, he must use whatever’s available (jumper cables, a police taser, a car cigarette lighter, high voltage power lines) to keep the fake one going. Storywise, that’s about it. But it’s plenty, as the filmmakers’ ultra-kinetic style--with its manic edits, cartoony subtitles, and other envelope-stretching effects--and amusing performances by Amy Smart (as Chev’s girlfriend), Dwight Yoakam (as a "doctor" who helps him figure out what’s happening), and others keep things going. No, Crank: High Voltage ain’t exactly Masterpiece Theater, but this is without a doubt one of 2009’s most entertaining films. --Sam Graham

Customer Reviews

Crank: High Voltage Review from The Massie Twins
Like a car crash - in this case something like an oil tanker colliding with a school bus full of baby kittens - Crank: High Voltage is disturbing to an intense degree, yet it's difficult to look away. Topping its predecessor in every manner of excessive vulgarities, Crank's acknowledgment and subsequent self-reflective mockery of its own escapist anti-realism produces a highly engaging exercise in both parody and hurdling over the boundaries of good taste. Wholesome entertainment this is not. But it's entertainment nonetheless.

For relentlessly revenge-driven and eternally enraged hitman Chev Chelios (Jason Statham), not even death could slow him down. After being poisoned, beaten, shot, and falling several thousand feet onto unforgiving pavement, Chelios is alive and well, save for having his indestructible heart stolen by Chinese mobsters and replaced with a mechanical one. Now forced to re-energize his ticker with bursts of electricity at frequent intervals, the bitter killer must hunt down his assailants while simultaneously fending off nearly limitless enemies from his past. On his side is vitriolic girlfriend Eve (Amy Smart), maniacal ex-doctor Miles (Dwight Yoakum), spastic ally Venus (Efren Ramirez) and an unquenchable thirst for vengeance.

Crank: High Voltage finally recognizes the shortcomings of the original and uses them to its advantage. Realizing that an attempt at serious hardcore action gave way to unrealistic, hyper-stylized, implausibly frenetic chaos and unintentional humor allows High Voltage to break free from its restraints and fully embrace the over-the-top humor that Crank reservedly craved. The utter nonsense that surrounds this fast-paced sequel that refuses to take itself seriously oozes with bloodthirsty violence, overdoses of risqué sex in very public places and crazily callous cursing.

"Fatal" means nothing to the seemingly invincible Chelios or to the wide assortment of oddballs that frequent his odyssey. It's crude, cruel, coarse, and off-color and perhaps the best brainless escapism to bombard the action film scene in much too long. From the opening scene in which Vang smugly flicks cigarette ashes onto Chev's exposed "strawberry tart" during open-heart surgery, to Doc Miles' reminiscing about the loss of a medical license due to his wife's failed vaginal rejuvenation procedure in the basement, to Venus' untimely full body Tourette Syndrome attacks, Crank: High Voltage quadruples the action, fatalities, old lady defilement, random nudity, and unbelievably twisted villains, and even has time to throw in a John Woo homage or two and opera music for good measure. Just watching this film will get you high.

- The Massie Twins

I Left My Heart in Los Angeles
How much abuse can one body take? When we last left Chev Chelios (Jason Statham), he had fallen from a helicopter, bounced off a car, and landed on a street in the middle of Los Angeles. And this was after being injected with a toxin that stopped the production of adrenaline. Now he finds himself in the middle of an operating room, his still-beating heart removed from his chest and replaced with an artificial version that's hooked up to a battery. When the battery gets destroyed, he's left with only an implanted backup generator, and in order for that to keep working, he must keep himself electrically charged. Sometimes, that involves sticking his finger into a car socket. At other times, that involves clamping jumper cables to his nipple and tongue, at which point the person behind the wheel hits the accelerator.

The original "Crank" was shameless, high octane fun, and so is "Crank: High Voltage," a film that doesn't know the meaning of the word "excessive." There's not a trace of humility to be found in any one of its ninety-six minutes. It's an unabashedly crude crime caper that uses four-letter dialogue as if being paid by the letter. It's an in-your-face assault on the senses, a hyperactive video game that never makes use of the pause button. Normally, these would be the hallmarks of a God-awful film, but in this case, they're the hallmarks of a stylish thrill ride that's just as funny as it is shocking. It's a movie so audacious in its insanity that I pretty much have to recommend it; it may not be the most edifying thing you'll ever see, but it certainly will be the most unforgettable hour-and-a-half you've had all spring.

The story: An Asian gangster named Johnny Vang (Art Hsu) is somewhere in Los Angeles with Chelios' heart, which is said to be indestructible and therefore perfect for harvesting. Chelios, with only a weakly powered artificial heart to work with, goes on a frantic search, stopping every so often to recharge. Along the way, he meets a number of ... interesting people. There's his old flame, Eve (Amy Smart), who now works as a stripper. There's a Chinese prostitute named Ria (Ling Bai), who clings to Chelios like a dog in heat and uses language that would make a sailor blush. There's Venus (Efren Ramirez), who's on a mission to avenge the death of his twin brother, Kaylo. Chelios has an occasional phone conversation with Doc Miles (Dwight Yoakam), who was once a heart surgeon before losing his license.

The movie is filled with unbelievable moments, but there are three in particular so priceless that I have to describe them. The first takes place at Hollywood Park, where a horse race is being held. Miles tells Chelios that, in a pinch, skin to skin friction will generate enough static electricity to keep his battery going. When Eve learns of this, she and Chelios begin creating their own "friction"--in the middle of the racing track to a cheering crowd of thousands. The second takes place in a power grid. Chelios and Vang start fighting, at which point the scene turns into a cheesy Asian monster movie, complete with unconvincing miniatures and makeup effects. The third is a strange flashback sequence revealing Chelios as a child (Billy Unger). He and his mother are on a talk show discussing why he became such a juvenile delinquent.

None of this has any real bearing on the story; they're nothing more than excuses for the movie to be ill-mannered and/or goofy. There are, of course, many other instances of these extremes, but they're all so over the top that I probably wouldn't be able to describe them anyway.

I leave it to you to see what happens at the end. Let it suffice to say that the shot before the end credits perfectly sums up everything the filmmakers set out to do. It would not be enough to say that this movie is bizarre; it's so outlandish that it pretty much defies the conventions of genre. Comparisons can be made to "Shoot `Em Up," Michael Davis' no-holds-barred, brilliantly original action film from 2007 that made use of stylized violence and a delightfully sick sense of humor. Both films also feature a British leading man. This leads me to why "Shoot `Em Up" is the more successful film: Clive Owen gave us a performance we hadn't seen him give before. Jason Statham, on the other hand, has starred almost exclusively in extreme action films, so there's very little he can do to surprise us.

Nevertheless, I'd be lying if I said that I didn't enjoy this movie, and it has everything to do with how far it goes. There's a difference between a movie that goes too far and a movie like "Crank: High Voltage"--the latter goes so far, it actually surpasses offensiveness and becomes entertaining. This is cinematic decadence at its most potent, an unbridled foray into the mind-numbing depths of action, comedy, and yes, even sex. One of the earliest cues is given by John de Lancie, who plays a TV anchorman; he describes the events of the first film as implausible. No, he doesn't just say the word. He pauses momentarily before accenting the word, as if to let the audience know that they're in store for yet another round of sheer lunacy. The writing/directing team of Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor could have made a tamer film, I suppose, but like Chev Chelios, they're hearts just weren't in it.

He was dead. But he got better.
Jason Statham's Chev Chelios survived that impossible fall from the helicopter that ended Crank. What would have turned any mere mortal into smashed watermelon left an immaculate body just ripe for organ harvesting. Part one, the heart that managed to outlast the mysterious Japanese poison. Before they can get to part two, Jason's personal crank, he decides to get out. But the mechanical heart he has in him now needs the recurring electrical jolt or Chev's gonna be dead again. Sound familiar? If you saw part one, it should. Then again, if you've seen a Road Runner cartoon, well, yes again.

Get past the insanely flimsy plot, the heaping cartoon violence, the almost juvenille use of constant profanity, the misogyny, the racism, the homophobia, the ADD editing style and the scenes that are almost 100% repeated from the first take on "Crank," and you'll discover an embarrassingly entertaining piece of junk. Yes, "Crank 2" is junk food, but it's a non-stop sugar rush of junk and macho-clown humor that barrels along with no concern for subtlety. It's maybe a half-step above your typical Van Damme Collection of stuff blowing up, but "Crank 2" is completely aware of that fact. To the point that a 'victim' of Statham's juice seeking survival skills is some old lady in a walker that describes her assailant as looking like that actor in The Transporter movies, "built like a brick Sh-house."

So if you're looking for a message...forget it. But if you want utter nonsense clubbing you over the head like a baby seal on the tundra, the Crank movies will super-zap you.