Pity is for living, envy is for dead. --Mark Twain

Wit and Humor- if any difference, it is in duration- lightning and electric light. Same material, apparently; but one is vivid, and can do damage- the other fools along and enjoys elaboration. --Mark Twain

I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them. --Mark Twain

We may not pay Satan reverence, for that would be indiscreet, but we can at least respect his talents. A person who has for untold centuries maintained the imposing position of spiritual head of four-fifths of the human race, and political head of the whole of it, must be granted the possession of executive abilities of the loftiest order. --Mark Twain

What is there in Rome for me to see that others have not seen before me? What is there for me to touch that others have not touched? What is there for me to feel, to learn, to hear, to know, that shall thrill me before it pass to others? What can I discover?- Nothing. Nothing whatsoever. One charm of travel dies here. --Mark Twain

There is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought- a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities! --Mark Twain

The holy passion of friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money. --Mark Twain

Happiness ain't a thing in itself- it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. . . . And so, as soon as the novelty is over and the force of the contrast dulled, it ain't happiness any longer, and you have to get something fresh. --Mark Twain

The face of the water, in time, became a wonderful book- a book that was a dead language to the uneducated passenger, but which told its mind to me without reserve, delivering its most cherished secrets as clearly as if it uttered them with a voice. And it was not a book to be read once and thrown aside, for it had a new story to tell every day. --Mark Twain

Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with. --Mark Twain

Let us consider that we are all partially insane. It will explain us to each other; it will unriddle many riddles; it will make clear and simple many things which are involved in haunting and harassing difficulties and obscurities now. --Mark Twain