(1963) The greatest Bond film of all! This one is a serious espionage thriller, with little of the silliness that permeates the later Bonds. If you only watch one Bond movie ever, make it this one. A+

(1964) Ahh, Goldfinger. Why isn't this number one you ask? Well, while it does have the most classic moments (Aston-Martin, Oddjob, the hat, the laserbeam, the Shirley Bassey theme) it also has the most rampant misogyny of all of the Bond movies (misogyny in a Bond flick? I'm shocked!) A

(1981) Roger Moore's best Bond. After "Moonraker" they figured they should actually make a serious spy movie. This one actually has the Russians as the antagonists (in the Cold War - what a concept!). The plot is great, and Moore is at his best here - both warm and cold, ruthless and avuncular. Only the very beginning and very end are disappointing. And the music. The music sucks. A-

(1989) Dark and edgy Bond. The first to be rated PG-13. It's the late eighties, so it's Bond versus the Central American Drug Lord. And it's good! But brutal - not something I usually watch on a regular basis (I have to be in the mood for this one). On the lighter side though we get to see more of Q in this than in any other Bond movie, and more of Desmond Llewelyn is always a good thing. A-

(1977) Goofy but fun. This one has an underwater car, Jaws, Mrs. Ringo, submarines, nukes, fish, and Caroline Munro's Cleavage. Oh, and one of the greatest stunts ever committed to celluloid. B

(1983) The Bond flick with the dumbest title ever. More goofy fun with Roger Moore. As a clown. Oh well, on the upside India makes for a great location and there's a great train chase sequence. A decent way to spend 2 hours. C+

(1979) Bond... in SPACE! By this point all subtlety has been thrown out the airlock. "Star Wars" was a huge hit in '77 so of course they had to go and make this. And it is silly, silly, silly. On the plus side though there's a great John Barry score. Note that this is not even remotely based on the book. Fun in an MST3K kinda way. C

(1985) This is pure eighties trash. Even Roger Moore thought that he was too old by this point. The only redeeming point of this movie: Patrick Macnee! The absolute low: Roger Moore getting it on with Grace Jones. At that point in the movie I was trying furiously to claw my eyeballs out. D+

(1974) This movie sucks. It's boring, it's tasteless and it's insipid. And it wastes any assets it does have. Christopher Lee? Wasted by script. An epic match-up between two of the world's greatest killers? Wasted by fun-house. An awesome aerial car stunt? Wasted by sound effect. Theme song? Horrible. D

(1997) Another one with a stupid story. This one is just as lifeless too, with tepid action scenes and horrible acting. Michelle Yeoh and Jonathan Pryce are usually good but are horrible here. There is only one good part in this entire movie but it's not worth sitting through the first 30 minutes to see. F