 | Gankutsuou -The Count of Monte Cristo (Chapter 1)
Buy used from: $0.33 Japanese anime loosely based on the epic novel of revenge. Get all the DVDs and fritter away a whole weekend. (A 4 DVD box set produced by Funimation was available as of April 2009.) By the way, at over 1300 pages, the original novel by Dumas would be a terrific way to gobble up a few weeks of your useless time.
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 | The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien
Buy new: $46.80 / Used from: $29.95 The classic fantasy adventure story... read The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings, and The Silmarillion. Then get the extended movie DVDs and become a true vegetable.
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 | A New Kind of Science by Stephen Wolfram
Buy new: $38.21 / Used from: $11.96 At over a thousand pages, this puppy should put a big dent in your free time. Read it all so as not to "miss the odd novel insight hidden among a million trivial platitudes" (quote from a much longer review by Joe Weiss). Tips the scale at 5.6 pounds.
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 | The Last Exile - The Complete Series Boxed Set (Vol 1-7)
Buy used from: $50.00 Get this boxed set and kiss your weekend goodbye. Yes, it's another Japanese anime. Includes 7 DVDs with a total run time of 650 minutes, nearly 11 hours. (A 4 DVD box set produced by Funimation was available as of May 2009.)
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 | Horatio Hornblower Boxed Set
Buy new: $52.49 / Used from: $14.98 Do the math: 4 DVDs = 400 minutes = 6.6666666667 hours down the drain. (Note very small rounding error.)
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 | War And Peace (Signet Classics) by Leo Tolstoy
Buy new: $8.76 / Used from: $5.51 One thousand, four hundred, and fifty-six pages. Unless your time is nearly worthless (like mine), I would suggest avoiding Russian novels.
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 | Iberia by James A. Michener
Buy new: $8.99 / Used from: $0.19 900 and 60 pages about Spain. Spain! Michener also inked 640 pages on Poland. Yes, Poland. His novel about Hawaii (cleverly called "Hawaii: A Novel") tied with Spain at 960 pages.
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 | Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Buy new: $23.49 / Used from: $20.49 Get an extra large bag of cheese snacks, a box of diet cokes, and start watching both Star Wars trilogies. Love the special effects. Too bad about the mediocre acting. You may also consider reading the Thrawn Trilogy, part of the so-called Star Wars expanded universe.
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 | The Second World War (Six Volume Boxed Set) by Winston S. Churchill
Buy new: $75.60 / Used from: $63.56 Has anyone on God's green earth read this six volume boxed set? It's four thousand, seven hundred, and thirty-six frickin pages. Try "A Short History of World War II" instead. It's by James Stokesbury and only runs to 416 pages. His short history of WW I is also good.
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 | Don Quixote (Penguin Classics) by Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra
Buy new: $9.36 / Used from: $3.72 At 400 years old and 1072 pages, it deserves a special place on your bookshelf.
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 | William Shakespeare Complete Works (Modern Library) by William Shakespeare
Buy new: $40.95 / Used from: $26.00 The old bard can still kill a few trees. At 2560 pages and 4.8 pounds, this baby is not for those of limited physical strength or lacking mental endurance.
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 | Firefly - The Complete Series
Buy new: $38.49 / Used from: $23.98 A hybrid sci-fi western series with personality, action, humor, and even some occasional eye candy. Satisfy your inner reptile with over 11 hours of quality entertainment.
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 | Noble House by James Clavell
Buy new: $8.99 / Used from: $0.01 Clavell must have a gold card membership to Starbucks. Here's a sample of his largess: Nobel House 1376 pages, Shogun 1136 pages, Gai Jin 1248 pages. Tai Pan has only 736 pages... what's up with that?
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 | Bone: The Complete Cartoon Epic in One Volume (Vol 1) by Jeff Smith
Buy new: $26.37 / Used from: $15.00 It's the BIG Bone book. A massive thing at 1300 pages, something only a true lizard could love.
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 | Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
Buy new: $15.75 / Used from: $8.23 Settle in for the long haul. At 1200 pages, this magnum opus should keep you out of trouble for a few weeks.
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 | James Bond Ultimate Collector's Set
Buy new: $113.99 / Used from: $99.99 I know you've seen these movies before, but the lizard lifestyle may require mutiple viewings of the tasty bits.
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 | William Trevor: The Collected Stories by William Trevor
Buy new: $19.80 / Used from: $3.96 It's 1280 pages long, resembles a phone book, and has been accurately characterized as "somber". Even for me, your Lizard King, it was a long hard slog. If you like short stories, I recommend reading "Interpreter of Maladies" instead. (Jhumpa Lahiri is one of God's more recent gifts to mankind.)
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 | The Sandman Vol. 1: Preludes and Nocturnes by Neil Gaiman
Buy new: $13.59 / Used from: $9.75 Get all ten volumes and blow more time than a Siberian popsicle vendor in December.
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 | 2 - 18 oz. Barrels of Pork Rinds
Buy new: $20.99 Ingredients: pork rinds, salt, love.
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 | Holy Bible: Contemporary English Version
Buy new: $7.91 / Used from: $5.98 I know it's the Bible, but how many people have actually read it from cover to cover? Ever read Judges? How about Samuel 1 and 2? There's good stuff, like the legend of Samson, the fall of Jericho, etc, but much of the OT is a real hard slog. Then again, it's hard to beat the variety in this 1567 page compilation of sacred books. Try Psalm 23, 1 Corinthians 13, Sermon on the Mount, etc.
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 | Sarum: The Novel of England by Edward Rutherfurd
Buy used from: $8.91 Panoramic view of history along the southern coast of Jolly Old from prehistoric times through WWII. At 912 pages, many Euro lizards give it high marks.
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 | Starbucks House Blend Coffee, Whole Bean, 12-Ounce Bags (Pack of 3)
Buy new: $34.95 Lizards are very sluggish in the morning, like Dick Cheney and other cold blooded creatures.
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