Dave Grohl must have phoned in an android to fill in for him here. It manages to sound languid and carefree even when it's screaming its lungs out. It can also play the piano, deny that AIDS exists, and let Kaki King get one of her kind of boring tunes branded a Foo Fighters song.

Dear Evil Science, Please find a way to send this very mediocre record, along with all of its over-gushing, sycophantic fans, into space. xoxoxo, Luke

If you've taken Fleet Foxes, please consult your doctor before operating machinery. Although Fleet Foxes outperformed Ambien and Lunesta in several clinical trials, it may impair your ability to discern what "rock" music is.

Put a bullet in my head. Please, before another group of inbred morons like Hinder gets a recording contract.

I would like to leave Britney alone. If I could get her to put a restraining order on me, would that mean that all parts of me (mind, body, ears) would have to remain fifty feet away at all times? If it means radio stations and news networks would have to leave her alone too, I'd be willing to take one for the team.

The only thing worse than "Viva La Vida" is the song it was ripped off from: "If I Could Fly" by Doug's balding, hard rock/easy listening playing friend Skeeter.

The definitive anthem for creepy Ford Econoline drivers hanging out at high school parking lots nationwide. Just remember, "possess" is just code for "molest."

No, we can't.