Santa Claus Conquers the Martians and Manos,Hands of Fate--essentials to any Bad Movie Collection. They are canon!

The homely Frank Whaley stars as a Playboy photographer who eventually finds love with his childhood sweetheart.Awwww...and to think I've seen this movie in the grocery check-out aisle.

Melodrama! Shirtlessness! Homoeroticism! Dancing! Have a Patrick Swayze Christmas! This movie took TWO DECADES to make. It was directed by Swayze's wife,Lisa Niemi,as his love interest. RIP Patrick Swayze (1952-2009)

Benjamin Bratt has a battle of wits with a scheming,evil Frenchman...whose presence is always indicated by a menacing accordion.

John Turturro stars as a mentally challenged man who gets mixed in with the Mob and horse racing. There's racial politics,his own amazing survival,and an ending that leaves you saying "Huh?"

Sigourney Weaver lookalike Annabeth Gish stars in "Gorillas in Space." A little boy and his beloved pet chimp conquer space,and his grief about his mother's death.

The late,great Luciano Pavarotti has some beautiful arias. Parts of it were filmed in the beautiful Napa Valley. In his one&only movie,Pavarotti stars as a married tenor carrying on a passionate affair with his throat doctor. Involves a food fight as foreplay scene.

One of the most pointless,gruesome horror movies ever made. Quentin Tarantino&George Clooney star as a pair of unlikeable bandits who hold a family hostage in a vampire-infested strip club.Amazingly,I've seen this appalling movie twice.

The reviewer at the Oregonian praised this movie for its lack of homoeroticism...which probably kept the fangirls away&quite unhappy.Yes,the hooligans sing&dance hobbitlike upon tables,but that's not enough.Lo,the weeping fangirls resumed writing Frodo mpregs,wailing&gnashing their teeth...

The Irish gangsta's paradise. Not to be confused with...

A penguin named Mumble dances to save the environment and wins an Oscar.They call it Sappy Feet for a reason...

Has Kaoma's "Lambada." Putumayo World Music fails to note that not one,BUT TWO bad movies happened to this fun,great dance song!

The funniest movie about the Apocalypse ever! Kirk Cameron stars as a godless reporter with the liberal news media who has a conversion experience...in a bathroom.

Jurgen Prochnow stars in this Predator/Alien ripoff. There's body paint,there are tribal rituals,a heroine who wears an evening dress to the jungle,and an annoying little boy! Fun for the whole family! Everything explodes!

Bruce Vilanch scripted this disaster. Robert Urich stars as a Han Solo-like "ice pirate" who escapes becoming a eunuch&goes on an ENDLESS chase scene on a desert planet.Unwatchable. As a famous pseudo-rapper said,"Ice ice baby."

Former hit man Matthew Modine finds a "new life" thanks to the paternal James Caan&his squeaky-voiced daughter,Joey Lauren Adams.I don't need to tell you how Modine finds his "new life."

Yet another Italian spaghetti fantasy. A cheap Conan rip-off with scantily clad women,a muscular hero named Cabot (who fights for feminism,battles slavery&sticks to his vegetarian diet),and an albino midget. As well as Jack Palance in a series of hilarious hats. Fun for everyone.

Think the infamous "Space Jam" was awful blending live action with cartoons? This one is worse,a melange of characters and plot odds n' ends thrown together. It's one tasteless stew.

Jennifer Beals is a maniac,maniac, dating like she's never dated before. She's a parole officer smitten with an ex-con who knocks her out (literally)

Peter Sellars' famously awful psychedelic take on James Bond. It's got Ursula Andress, Woody Allen, David Niven,a cast of celebrities--as well as an incoherent plot and unfunny jokes. Watch the Daniel Craig version instead,because he's buff&hot.