Product Description

Curious about online dating but worried that it might not be safe? Not even sure where to start and which site to try first? Now there is a one-stop reference guide to teach you everything you need to know to enter the world of online dating — safely. The Absolute Beginner's Guide to Online Dating will help you acquire the skills to attract a future mate based on personality, values and interests using e-mail, chat and the Web. From a site-by-site comparison of features and costs to exercises that will help you assess what kind of person you are looking for, you will learn how to begin dating online. You will also learn how to:

• Build an online profile
• Establish a personal connection through exchanging chat messages
• Fill out forms that inform and attract potential dates
• Conduct background checks on people you are interested in meeting

There are even chapters dedicated to specific groups such as over-50, gays and people who only need a date for a special event. Complete with stories of successful relationships that originated online and tales of negative experiences to learn from, this book will help you feel reassured that online dating is not only safe and private, but, in many ways, better than traditional methods.

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Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #2224651 in Books
• Published on: 2004-12-02
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 336 pages

About the Author

Greg Holden is the owner of Stylus Media, which creates Web pages for other small businesses. Greg has written extensively about the Internet and the social implications of technology. He has personal experience with online dating sites, and his strength lies in knowing people who have married as a result of meeting online, and friends and colleagues who run Web sites and write columns on related topics. Greg is a former newspaper reporter and University of Chicago publications manager, who writes his own fiction and poetry, as well as contributing articles to publications such as the Chicago Tribute Magazine, Wired Magazine and C-Net. He has authored over a dozen books about the Web.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Introduction

If you are one of the many people looking on with envy as friends, relatives, and coworkers find new boyfriends, girlfriends, and even spouses through online dating, this book will help you join the fun—and, quite possibly, change your life for the better.

If you are new to the exciting world of online dating, this is the book for you. You'll boost your confidence in your ability to flirt, attract, and meet people safely. You'll also learn more about how to stay in control of your privacy and (as much as you prefer, given your personal makeup) your emotions. This book will streamline the process of creating profiles and give you the skills to effectively communicate online. My goal is to make you feel as though you have a personal consultant at your disposal as you exchange email and chat messages and make appointments for coffee, tea—or anything else that happens to come up.

Online dating is one of the hot topics in cyberspace, and it's fast becoming part of mainstream culture. Chances are you've heard about the subject, either through the media or word of mouth. When my editor and I put out feelers to begin the process of interviewing people who had met others online, we were flooded by responses. Other editors, and even other computer writers, were eager to tell about their experiences. Many of my friends know friends who have started with online dating and ended with a partner for life. As for myself, I've done pretty much everything ethical that it's possible to do on the Internet, including striking up long-term relationships.

For some years now, online daters have gone from being considered slightly shady to being entirely cool. But, as good as we all like to consider ourselves in the area of love, there's always room for improvement. In fact, this book is just what you need if you have only a passing knowledge of online dating and need a user-friendly coach to ease you into the cyber-dating "pool." You don't even need to be a computer expert in any stretch of the imagination. This book does assume that you're somewhat familiar with Windows or the Macintosh, you have access to an Internet connection, and you surf the Web on occasion. So if you'd feel a little more comfortable with some knowledge of bits, megabytes, and cable modems under your belt, I refer you to books such as Absolute Beginner's Guide to Computer Basics by Michael Miller, also published by Que.

Whether you want computer knowledge as a byproduct or not, this book will help you focus on your main goal—finding a significant other. If you can click a mouse, get a digital photo of yourself, and exchange email, you're ready to begin. A little bit of effort brings huge benefits that are changing society, relationships, and lives all around the world. Suddenly, you have hundreds of potential dating partners instead of just the few you meet at the local nightspots, or those who are recommended by friends or family members who are always trying to set you up with someone "just perfect." I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that realistically things don't always work out the way you hoped. Here again, online dating is your new best friend. You can strike up a conversation, assess the situation, end a relationship, and move on to someone else from the convenience of your own home with a minimum of heartache and expense of both time and money.

Ever since Adam and Eve, one of the big goals for every human being has been to find a life partner. Because the Internet has achieved widespread, everyday use rather than being the exclusive province of "propeller heads," achieving this goal has taken on new possibilities. With the help of this book anyone, including you, can participate in online dating safely and effectively. And you can have tons of fun, too!

Some Key Terms

This book won't bog you down in computer-speak, but it will help you navigate a number of Internet communication technologies ranging from the Web to chat rooms, instant messaging, email, and discussion boards. Here are a few definitions you should keep in mind so you can follow this book's step-by-step examples without phoning your niece or nephew for interpretation:

• Click. When you see this term, click something once, not twice.

• Double-click. When you see this term, click something twice, not once, three times, or ten times.

• Right-click. Use your right mouse button, not your left, to make a shortcut menu appear from which you can select options.

• Web-page form. This is a web page with text boxes, buttons, check boxes, and other fields you use to submit data (such as a profile of yourself) to a website.

• Drop-down menu list. This is a commonly used item on a web-page form.

• Download. This is what happens when you view content on a web page or copy a program to your computer: Data moves from a site on the Internet to your own hard disk.

• Upload. This is the opposite of downloading: You move data from your computer (for example, a computerized photo of yourself) to a site on the Internet.

Many dating sites—websites that bring people together so they can meet one another—streamline many of the processes. They make it easy to create an online profile, for instance. They might also give you your own email account. The most technical thing you have to do is take a good photo of yourself that is in the form of a computer document so you can add it to your profile. You'll find out more about how to do that in Chapter 9.

Some Things to Keep in Mind

You are in control when it comes to online dating. You can move from site to site, change your profile at any time, or take a break if you want.

Also keep in mind that your own computer screen might not look identical to the ones seen in this book. Windows and web pages appear different depending on the browser and operating system you use. Not only that, but dating sites change as often as hairstyles and waistlines. So if something has the same name but looks completely different when you see it, or if the address has changed by the time you try to view it, calm down and go with the flow.

How to Use This Book

This book is divided into six parts. Each part builds on the previous one. But that doesn't mean you have to read all of them, or that you have to read the book's chapters consecutively. Skip around to the content that applies most closely to you. Here's a summary of what each part covers:

Part I, "Getting Started with Online Dating," helps you ease your way into the cyber-singles scene. You learn what to expect, what equipment you will need, and what you might find when you get there. You even learn about some matchmakers who can make it easier for you to find the person you're looking for.

Part II, "Working with a Dating Service," introduces you to the most common way to look for love online—registering with a dating service. However, all services aren't created equal. Some fit your personality and goals better than others. You will learn about the differences and how to join without overpaying.

Part III, "Putting Yourself Out There," examines how to make a presentation that will stand out from the crowd and attract responses. You will learn how to create a profile, fill out forms, write essays, and create photos that will show you off in your best light (I mean that literally).

Part IV, "Jumping into the Dating Pool," describes different ways to communicate with people you meet online. You will learn that greetings are important, flirting is possible without actually being in the same room with someone, and how to move from typing messages to talking on the phone and meeting in person.

Part V, "There's a Match Out There for Everyone," covers the many specialty dating sites available for those with individual needs and interests.

Part VI, &qu...