Product Description

A compulsive, informative and eye-opening read for women who want to know which men are most likely to commit to a relationship, what attributes in a partner they're looking for or whether their current partner will ever propose. Based on 11 years of extensive market research An utterly compelling read, this book contains illuminating facts and tips from the author's market research team of 300 experienced researchers who interviewed focus groups and engaged couples over a period of 11 years. Over 2,500 women and their fiances, along with over 1000 single people, were interviewed. When their answers to questions were analysed, patterns arose that led to the successful strategies offered in this book. Discover: / How to increase your chances of marrying by up to 60% / Ten warning signals that a man is never going to marry / How to trigger a proposal / The advantages and dangers of dating divorced or widowed men / How to deal with a partner's children Findings included: / After 18 months of a relationship, the chances that a man will propose drop by 50% / Women who are slender have an easier time meeting men and better odds of getting married / To be on the safe side, a woman should seriously start looking for a husband in her late 20s. / The majority of male graduates between 28 and 33 are in their high commitment years and likely to propose / After 38, the chances men will ever marry drop dramatically. At 42 or 43 many men become confirmed batchelors / Single men in their late thirties or forties with divorced parents may believe in living together, because in their minds, once people marry, the romance ends / Men rate sexual or social virtue when choosing a bride: someone they could take home to Mother or introduce to their boss / For many, their future spouse is a status symbol; meeting their ideas of refinement, elegance and decency

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #1401546 in Books
• Published on: 2004-01-19
• Original language: English
• Binding: Paperback
• 240 pages

From Publishers Weekly
Though the title makes this volume sound more like a Gone With The Wind-era admonition than a modern-day marriage manifesto, Molloy (Dress for Success) promises to "increase your chances of marrying by up to 60 percent" and teach women how to spot "ten warning signals that a man is never going to marry you." For the woman dedicated to landing a mate, this book does offer practical tips based on Molloy's interviews with thousands of engaged and married people. Some of the advice offered is common sense ("date eligible men," "if you want to meet men...pick a place where men really go"-i.e., a sports bar), but other suggestions have an unintentionally humorous effect. In the "Size Matters" section, Molloy writes: "Being overweight dramatically reduces your changes of attracting and marrying men... Naturally, there are many overweight women who do marry. We ran across dozens." Though he offers helpful chapters on relationship stages, open communication, divorced and widowed men and marriage after 40, Molloy's tone often makes it sound as if men do women a favor by marrying them. "If you want to discuss marriage, you're probably going to have to bring the subject up, because many men never will," Molloy warns, and his book sets forth a straightforward plan for any marriage-minded woman willing to change her habits. For better or worse, Molloy proves that most men still choose mates based upon qualities that signaled the perfect bride in the Edwardian era: virtue, respectability and accomplishment.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.

About the Author
John Molloy is the New York Times bestselling author of Dress for Success and The Women's Dress for Success Book and a much sought-after image consultant and corporate speaker. He lives in Florida.

Customer Reviews

Molloy recommends honesty and good sense.
Another reader said;

"I was surprised to read that the majority of women his team interviewed at marriage license offices admitted they had to give their sweeties what amounts to an ultimatum to get him to commit. (I worry such arm-twisting might account for our high divorce rate.)"

I think this misrepresents what Molloy actually says. Molloy does not tell women to use strong arm methods - he tells women to be *honest* in a relationship. If marriage matters to them, they should be honest about that. If their man's response to a suggestion of marriage hurts them, they should be honest about *that*, as well. He does recommend that women try to be considerate in presenting their protests, but what he is basically arguing is that honesty pays. I've been married seventeen years, and seen a lot of friends' marriages do a nosedive in that time, and I think he's right.

A friend of mine from high school who recently divorced let her boyfriend/fiance walk all over her while they were dating, then while they were married, until she just couldn't take it anymore, and left him. But she didn't tell him he was hurting her until they'd been married for years! She expected him to know. I think this is far more destructive than honestly telling someone you're close to that marriage is important to you, and you're not sure you can continue the relationship if it won't lead to marriage; or that they hurt you when they dismissed your desire for marriage.

When I was dating, many, many women warned me to never mention marriage, and said they never admitted they wanted marriage, because that would chase a guy off. I felt this was dishonest and wouldn't do it. If a guy and I talked life time goals, I was always up front about the fact that I intended to get married and have kids. I never said I intended to marry *him*, but I did discuss why marriage appealed to me and etc. And I got married, while my friends who were careful not to mention marriage did not.

A friend of mine once sat me down and scolded me because every guy I'd broken up with then proceeded to get married within a year - I think this happened because Molloy is right; guys honestly *don't* think much about marriage, but when it's presented as a valid possibility during their "Age of Commitment", many of them decide the idea is appealing. He's also right about religious differences being a problem - those relationships didn't last because I ultimately wouldn't compromise on my commitments to God or my principles. Getting married was important to me, but there were other things that were more important.

One of the few points I disagree with Molloy on is his emphasis on losing weight. I don't doubt this is what the statistics show, but I'm not convinced he's getting the whole picture. I had more than one guy suggest to me that "if you'd just lose a few pounds, I'd sure like to go out with you." I would NEVER date a man who said that to me. Maybe I could diet down to the weight he preferred for a time, but everyone in my family past their thirties is overweight and dieting - I always figured my odds of being overweight as I aged were all too high, and I had no intention of getting stuck with a guy who'd hassle me over it.

Despite my weight, I talked marriage seriously with four guys before marrying a fifth - and he was the one rushing us into marriage while I was the one dragging her feet. A friend of mine who is extremely obese - under five feet tall and over 200 pounds - remarried in her forties, and she married a considerably younger man to boot! But while she is over weight, she has all the other qualities Molloy recommends - she is very kind, she kept herself up (make up and such - not overdone, but she always looked nice and dressed up for dates), she always had fun on dates, she genuinely likes people and lets them know it, she got out and about, and she has that "always on the edge of a smile" look Molloy talks about. I think one reason older overweight women are less likely to remarry is that they've given up.

Which is a valid choice, after all. Molloy's goal in this book is not to argue that marriage is the best way for everyone - his book is addressed to women who want to marry. If, after dealing with the data on typical marriages, women decide they aren't interested in pursuing marriage under those circumstances, he has still done them a service. He can help you to make an informed choice - some women may chose to actively pursue marriage, and others may decide it isn't worth it. He doesn't condemn either route.

Sheryl

Don't bother if you are a woman over 35
I bought this book because I thought that I would learn some special insight into why I was still a single woman over 40. I don't recommend this book if you are older. The author states the obvious: 1) Men want younger women 2) If you are an over 40 woman, who is single, you better be attractive and thin more so than your younger counterparts. 3) You should marry unattractive men who get passed over by other women. 4) You should join an athelic group of some sort, go out on Singles outings etc..etc... Nothing new here to me. I have done all of the things the author suggests and I am still single going on four years. I am thin- if I get any thinner my doctor will get ticked, attractive, take care of myself and participate in many sporting activities.

Anyhow-there is no special formula here, maybe I should write a book and tell women the following:
1) Date divorced men - they are easier to get along with -
2) Stay away from players and guys who have NEVER settled down or who have a history of breaking women's hearts.
3) Love yourself enough to take care of yourself on the inside and out.

No brainers here ladies...I am done reading these dating books. Finding the love of your life is either meant to be ie, luck or it is not.

Just the Facts, Ma'am
How I wish I had read this when I was still in my 30s. If you're looking for a book that is entertaining or touchy-feely, skip this one. It reports results of thousands of interviews and bares the hard cold facts--some made me feel optimistic, most were sobering but truthful and necessary to know. I was surprised to read that the majority of women his team interviewed at marriage license offices admitted they had to give their sweeties what amounts to an ultimatum to get him to commit. (I worry such arm-twisting might account for our high divorce rate.) What interested me most was the section that discussed The Stringer, the kind of fellow you date for years without any certainty of a future in terms of marriage. So you wake up in your early 40s, figure out his game, then find how very hard it is to find a man who wants to date (and marry) you who isn't a whole lot older than you (and probably more interested in you as his geriatric nurse). Molloy described stringers as "very destructive" because their M.O. can result in woman being single (and he didn't mention, childless) the rest of her life. Also, we all kind of know it and Molloy was sympathetic to the unfairness of it, but the statistics are as clear as a bell that women who let themselves get heavy put themselves in a very, very bad position to attract a man despite a few happy string bean-tomato exceptions. He included some good tips on where to go to meet men even though I'd rather stay single than devote time to model train shows or hang out in sports bars (however he did cite other places more appealing to me). Why aren't more single men going to places where women with high values tend to gravitate--churches, volunteer programs, cultural institutions, etc.? I guess it goes back his finding that they need to be pressured to grow up and commit, and singles bars are the easiest route to a fling. Reminds me of Reagan's quote, "It was women who brought men out of the caves." I wish Molloy would lay some cold facts on men in his next book, but of course which gender is it who reads books on enhancing relationships?