The Self-Sabotage Cycle: Why We Repeat Behaviors That Create Hardships and Ruin Relationships
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Average customer review:Product Description
A 12-year-old boy vows he will never do to his future family what his father did by leaving the boy, his sister and mother. Yet, 30 years later, the boy now a man leaves his own family. A young woman who's broken off an abusive relationship is now attracted to the same kind of personality in a potential boyfriend. And an attorney who grew up with an impossible-to-please father takes a job in a firm where the boss thinks praise is never productive. These are the kind of repetitive cycles that Stanley Rosner has seen time and again in his practice across 40 years as a clinical psychologist. A past president of the Connecticut Psychological Association, Rosner examines in this book whether there is for some people a compulsion to repeat self-destructive acts, and what the foundation for that compulsion might be, as well as how it can be changed to afford better, happier living. Assisted by popular author Patricia Hermes, Rosner offers many eye-opening vignettes from his therapy rooms, showing us clearly how early life events can create unconscious dilemmas that move us to repeat the situation in other forms. He aims to show us how we can resolve the issues that linger, explaining how to recognize these issues, then move forward to put them to rest in ways that are not self-sabotaging. "What I have to offer," says Rosner, "is the opportunity for change."
Product Details
- Amazon Sales Rank: #678288 in Books
- Published on: 2006-10-30
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Binding: Hardcover
- 192 pages
Editorial Reviews
Review
“From the viewpoint of clinical practice, the book is an enlightening account of the dynamics of the repetition compulsion--a tendency to repeat certain forms of behavior that are compulsive and destructive at the same time. The authors have offered an in-depth analysis of what causes this form of behavior, the various ways in which it manifests itself and finally suggest ways to overcome it. The book starts with interesting and day-to-day examples of relatively harmless forms of repetitive behavior arousing the curiosity of the reader. Later, the authors go on to describe the more destructive forms of repetitive behavior and its overpowering nature, which often result in hardships in one's interpersonal relationships at work and home....[t]he book is an interesting read and will largely appeal to people inclined towards psychology.”–Metapsychology
“Rosner, a clinical psychologist, and Hermes, an author, discuss the cycle of self-destruction that affects some people in interpersonal relationships, its causes, and how to recognize and change it. Through stories of cases, they describe repetitive behavior arising from early childhood, in marriage, in child rearing, on the job, and in ways people try to rescue or repent. Addictions and repetition compulsion are also covered.”–SciTech Book News
About the Author
STANLEY ROSNER, Ph.D., is a Clinical Psychologist who has been in private practice for 40 years. He is a staff member in the Department of Psychiatry at Bridgeport Hospital, an adjunct medical staff member in the Department of Psychiatry at Norwalk Hospital, and a Fellow of the American Psychological Association, the National Academy of Neuropsychologists, the Society for Personality Assessment, and the Connecticut Psychological Association. He has served as President of the Connecticut Psychological Association and President of the Connecticut Society of Psychoanalytic Psychologists.
PATRICIA HERMES is a Connecticut-based author whose work includes 40 novels for young readers. Her awards for her books include the Smithsonian Notable Book, the C.S. Lewis Honor Book, the California Young Reader Medal and the New York Library Best Book for the Teen Years Award.
Customer Reviews
A lucid, candid and very helpful approach
I came across this book by chance and the very word "cycle" in the title called my attention. What a nice surprise it was! This is not your typical self-help book where the author claims to be authoritative and then goes on to offer a nicely packaged solution. It is a brilliant book where you can follow the author's own efforts to understand and help people who suffer from repeating self-defeating behaviors. It is an insightful journey where the author provides a unique view of the relationship doctor-patient in a psychotherapy. You will be challenged to put this book down.
Ain't it the truth?
The cover is off setting and the prose is a bit wordy but the insight and knowledge is right on! I am an introspective person who often spends times wondering why I did things and try not to repeat mistakes. I just wish more people were open to self analysis and self critism. That sounds like a Maoist slogan but by the time we're past 30 years old I think we all need to be accountable for what we do and why we repeat certain behaviours.
Starting from the intro when the writer cites the books' inspiration from a mundane conversation w/ a hotel doorman we get a glimpse as to the depth of this books' ideas.



