Product Description

"In this readable and practical book, Dr. Flesberg addresses the needs of approximately 18-20 million children under age 18 who face parental divorce with lifestyle changes in the liminal place known as the "switching hour." The "switching hour" is Flesberg's term for the psychological, physical, and spiritual space between the respective homes of divorced parents measured by clock time as well as the context and lifestyle in which these children seek to balance the different ways of being that these homes represent. The book invites parents, grandparents, other relatives, and caregivers to enter responsibly into the world of the children of divorce.

"Chapters 1-7 begin with a child's letter. These letters plus intermingled vignettes lead the reader to connect with the soul and angst of each child. For Dr. Flesberg this connection is a prerequisite to the reader's responding redemptively to these children of divorce. Each chapter illustrates and defines the needs of children of divorce and then offers guidelines for appropriate response. A suggested reading list is included in the final chapter. This is useful for personal or group reflection.

"Her use of the children's narratives is diverse and compelling. Seminal themes and commentary are clinically accurate and creatively presented. The caring guidelines for response are well thought out and useable. The book is theologically sound, interfaith sensitive and inclusive, and gracious to the reader. This reader was touched profoundly by the uniqueness yet commonality of the children's stories. The Switching Hour offers hope and suggestions to those who seek to care responsibly and effectively for children of divorce."

James W. Pruett, Ph.D.; D.Min.; LMFT; LPC; CFBPPC

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #232757 in Books
• Published on: 2008-01-01
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Hardcover
• 128 pages

From Publishers Weekly
While underdeveloped, this well-intentioned attempt at listening to the heartbreaking voices of children of divorce struggle between two households merits some serious attention. A pastor and counselor in Nashville, Tenn., Flesberg offers eight brief chapters delineating the conflicts children express, in letters and quotes, as they are literally torn between lives with mothers and fathers, lost in the liminal place somewhere in between. They bemoan not seeing both parents every day and having constantly to move between two places they are supposed to call home. They express frustration at always being in a state of expectation, guilt and sometimes terrible disappointment, such as when a parent doesn't show up. The children do not look forward to stressful holidays, deflecting attacks by one parent at another or having to accept new step-family. As well, children relay their questions and confusions regarding their relations with God, Christian or otherwise. In review chapters and checklists, Flesberg gears this guidebook toward divorced parents who need and want to ease their children's bewilderment and distress. There is a great deal of important information, although it deserves much more development than this slim book provides. (Jan.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From the Publisher
"To read...Dr. Flesberg is to be confident that our children in our homes, churches and synagogues will be loved, protected, listened to, and cared for during their parents divorce and all the years following...There is real healing on these pages. This book is a warm coat in a chilling wind. It fulfills an urgent need in our homes and faith communities...As clergy, The Switching Hour is my first choice to support a family through divorce and the years that follow."
--April Ulring Larson, Bishop of the LaCrosse, Wisconsin Area of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America

"Flesberg's genius is her ability to pack a great deal of information for parents, educators, counselors and clergy into a short, easily accessible and wlel-organized book. As a rabbi, I now have much better insight into the trauma these children face. The author encourages clergy of all faiths to embrace the important role they have in helping these wounded children voice their fears and concerns of both God and their world. As a therapist, the book called attention to the heartbreaking separation anxiety faced by each of these children over and again. Within days of reading The Switching Hour, I shared many bits of its wisdom with single parents in my practice and ministry. Flesberg vigilantly keeps her spotlight of inquiry on the hearts and pains of these unique children. Yet her message is a human one, reaching far beyond this specific population. I heartily recommend the book to all thirsting for a deeper understanding of both the internal and external emotional lives of children of all circumstances.
--Ari Fridkis, NYC, Rabbi, LCSW

Customer Reviews

The Switching Hour: Kids of Divorce Say Good-bye Again
Found the book interesting, and it identified some points I had not thought of; therefore, helpful in our work with couples.

Powerful and applicable to all.
This powerful and thought provoking book should be required reading for all divorcing couples with children. It is truly applicable to anyone touched by divorce and with the current divorce statistics that likely includes everyone. Dr. Flesberg has given us insight into the child's world, enabling us to develop compassion and then to take action. It is an easy read, but their is nothing simple about this book or topic. I only wish it had been available 15 years ago to help guide me and my child through the "switching hours". I have already bought several copies to give to friends and fellow counselors.

A "Must-Read" for everyone!
Dr. Flesberg has approached an area that is so often over-looked in families where there is divorce. It is an "easy read" for the layperson, but also very well written and documented for the professional. The book does not point fingers of blame and shame at the divorce couple...rather it lifts up the children who are caught in the cross-fire of the situation. The letters from the children are compelling and heart-wrenching. Her analysis and understanding of the situation comes through her years of counseling and helping such families. Her approach is very sensitive and caring. I especially found the last chapters which invite the readers to reflect upon their own situations and come up with positive solutions,very helpful! I have given the books to several people with whom I am working. I am in hopes that the court system might require this book for people going through divorce to read and consider the children and how their needs can be better addressed. pf