Product Description

"Not Tonight, Honey Wait Til I'm a Size 6" is the book people are talking about. Syndicated Gannett News Services columnist Susan Reinhardt takes every topic on men's and women's minds and blows them wide open with a never-before-seen candor. The humor is explosive. Topics range from bodies that have gone to pot, to grandmothers taking up smoking at age 80 and hiding lit cigarettes in bras and aprons. Once, the author had to "marry" her best friend when the minister (also the bride's yard man) blew a gasket in his colostomy bag.

Reinhardt's stories are often compared to that of a female David Sedaris or a married and middle-aged Bridget Jones. She is Erma Bombeck if Erma had Chef Emeril kicking it up a notch! People say they've never read funnier, but the poignant stories she tells pull a few tears.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #45834 in Books
• Published on: 2005-05-03
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 224 pages

From Publishers Weekly
Reinhardt slips Zoloft into her husband's tea for several weeks to cure him of an incessant need to clean and an overactive libido. She is matron of honor at her best friend's wedding—and ends up taking the minister's place when his colostomy bag malfunctions. She gives an interview while on bed rest due to irritable uterus syndrome and later winds up reading a headline on her "grumpy vagina." Obviously, syndicated newspaper columnist Reinhardt is the kind of woman who gets into endless scrapes, but she's as amused by them as readers are, and her book will appeal to lovers of the Sweet Potato Queens and Fanny Flagg. But there's another side to Reinhardt. Some of the essays in this collection are lyrical even as they pay tribute to old favorites: Southern women, pregnancy and motherhood. Most of all, the author knows that some days we, like her, come into work just to see what the "weirdos" are up to, and that we like the same thing in our nonfiction. And while her topics are sometimes predictable and her humor is sometimes crass, her heart is always in the right place, and her prose is often fresh and fun. Agent, Ethan Ellenberg. (May)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist
Newspaper columnist Reinhardt has put together a collection of anecdotes and tales that ranges from side splitting to achingly poignant. She's like a modern-day, southern-fried Erma Bombeck or Dave Barry, and her tales of the ordinary will resonate with women everywhere. Meet her husband, Tidy Stu, who won't let her have bed skirts or load the dishwasher; her grandmother, who insists she doesn't smoke as she hides the lit evidence in her apron pockets; and her mother, a true southern lady and "double virgin." Laugh as Susan, determined to get her children a dog despite Tidy Stu's objections, purchases a nursing dachshund in a parking lot; hold back the tears as her mother comforts her through a miscarriage and as she leaves her son on his first day of school. Readers of all stripes will find themselves relating to Susan and thoroughly enjoying these, by turns, raunchy and tear-inducing real-life stories. Maria Hatton
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

Review
"A dazzling work..." -- Cheryl McClary, author of the Amazon bestselling,

"Funny, wise and warm...from sidesplitting to achingly tender." -- Celia Rivenbark, author of

"Hilarious, captivating...no one is more accomplished at the fine art of Southern storytelling than Susan Reinhardt." -- Ronda Rich, best-selling author of

"Surgical patients should forgo reading this book until all sutures are completely healed." Jill Conner Browne, the Sweet Potato Queen -- Jill Conner Browne, The Sweet Potato Queen

"Susan Reinhardt takes the naked, honest truth and sets it on fire in a blaze of laughter." -- Laurie Notaro, best-selling author of

Customer Reviews

Great for Moms
I thought the writing was great and hilarious, but not being (or wanting to be) a mother made some of the material boring because I couldn't relate. I would definitely recommend the book to anyone, only with the caveat that much of it is focused around motherhood.

Amusing, but far from hilarious
As a hardcore fan of female humor writers, I eagerly anticipated cackling with abandon over this book. Alas, it's really not that funny. Amusing, yes. Hilarious, no. I was frankly disappointed. If you want to read something that will have you guffawing out loud, have strangers stare at you in public while you snicker audibly, or keep your husband awake at night because you won't shut up laughing at the book, try Laurie Notaro or Jen Lancaster. I practically hee-hawed myself silly over Lancaster's "Bitter is the New Black" and Notaro's "Autobiography of a Fat Bride."

Not Tonight Honey, Wait 'til I'm Finished This Book
Not Tonight Honey, Wait `till I'm a Size 6, arrived in the signature Amazon box just as I was headed out to dinner with a friend. I knew that four more hours was too long a wait to get into the book, and so I decided to bring the book along with us. It turns out that rush hour traffic was slower than a game of scrabble with Grandma, and so we sat bumper to bumper. I began to read, "The big jowly woman jiggled toward our car, preceded by one of those front asses split in half by her red polyester stirrup pants-" With that sentence, my friend lost it, and the car started to shake as we both held our stomachs gasping for air. Crawling along in slow traffic, the only sound was a high-pitched wheezing as we both tried to regain control. The book was opened again at the restaurant, because both my friend and I had to read the rest of the "The Taco Bell Dog" story.

Being an avid humor book reader, I've found that many books are either lacking in gut holding wit, or quality writing. This book is rich in warmth and detail. The author doesn't simply tell the story with a good laugh, but rather she has the ability to bring the reader into the story. I felt as though I was invited to smell the cigarette smoke and feel the rush of blood to my head as I lay at the top of the stairs with a young Susan looking down at her mother. I love how she wrote they had hair like That Girl, which set the time and the style in so few words. And I love the description, "Cigarette smoke like the funnels of tornados rose up the stairs to my nose."

All this to say, I can't wait for her next book to arrive in the signature Amazon box.