Product Description

One of the hardest truths about divorce is that every split - no matter when it occurs - will have lifelong effects on the children caught in the crossfire. While most people acknowledge our pain during our parents' parting, few of us realize that our most significant insecurities, questions, and doubts may not show up for years, when we seek our own intimate relationships as adults.

In fact, millions of adult children of divorce feel lost, displaced, or unwanted years after the ink has dried on their parents' divorce decree. Like them, you may fear abandonment, betrayal, or failure in your own marriage. Despite outward successes, you may doubt your emotional abilities. You may notice that your parents' divorce affects you more each year, not less. You are not alone.

Through research, interviews, and personal stories, Generation Ex will help you understand the effect of your parents' divorce on your identity, faith, and relationships, and will give you the tools you need to create a dramatically different legacy.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #955573 in Books
• Published on: 2007-02-28
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 220 pages

Review
?Anyone who has suffered the experience of their parents? divorce will be blessed by this book. Jen Abbas will gently guide you on the path of personal health and wholeness with her vulnerability, wisdom, and biblical counsel.?
?Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, Seattle Pacific University, authors of When Bad Things Happen to Good Marriages

?Jen has written a powerful book with a desperately needed message of hope for a lost generation. What?s more she does it with an honesty that is refreshing and the intimacy of someone who has walked down this road herself. I was personally moved by the deeply personal revelations in this book, and as a result I have been able to see the issues at work in my family in a much clearer way.?
?Brad Miles, lead vocalist with Everman

?Jen Abbas masterfully weaves practical helps into the vulnerable, honest, and insightful discussions in Generation Ex. She couldn?t have chosen a better format, because processing the smothering pain and enduring fears born of a parent?s divorce takes conscious work. Halfway through the pages of this book, I was personally struck again by the overwhelming weight of the emotions of those years surrounding my own parents? divorce, and yet I was struck once more by the hope soaking every page as this revolutionary book wound towards its close. Generation Ex will surely free countless broken hearts to sing again.?
?Fred Stoeker, coauthor of Every Man?s Battle and the Every Man series

?This is a brilliant book! Though I have never faced the issues Jen Abbas talks about, I was still enthralled because Jen is such an engaging writer. Her counsel is as practical as it is profound, and relevant not just for children of divorced couples but for any couple considering a divorce or anyone ministering to the children of divorce.?
?Gary Thomas, author of Sacred Marriage and Sacred Parenting

?Generation Ex is packed with stories gleaned from countless interviews of children of divorce, statistics gathered from a wide range of sources, and great interactive ways for readers to work through their own buried emotions resulting from a life thrust upon them by the mistakes and sins of their parents. Generation Ex is not a comfortable book to read. It isn?t intended to be. It is like a surgeon?s knife that has to do some damage before it can bring about the desired healing. While this is not a pretty process, it is necessary if true healing is to take place. Throughout this book Jen gently yet effectively confronts the reader with the hard truth and then gives them the means to begin the healing process.?
?Tim Way, senior buyer with Family Christian Stores

?More research is coming out every day about the long-term effects of divorce on now grown children. As a veteran in the publishing world, Jen Abbas knows where there are holes in the market that need filling. Jen also knows the hurt of growing up in a divorced home and offers practical, biblical help for the millions like her?and like me. Generation Ex is timely resource that meets a major felt need in our country.?
?John Trent, Ph.D., president, StrongFamilies.com

?This fine book is an excellent resource for both those seeking healing from the experience of divorced parents and those seeking to minister to them. Jen Abbas weaves together personal stories, practical exercises, and powerful faith in a masterful way that is highly readable and motivating. Her voice of experience is compassionate and credible, challenging the reader to not only understand but also move forward in a process of healing and restoration. Generation Ex is an essential resource for any professional who wants to understand and guide adult children of divorce through a comprehensive healing process.?
?Tom Emigh, vice president for student development, Cornerstone University

?Jen deals with this very delicate subject of divorce head-on, as only someone with her past family experience can. I have written about divorce in my song ?You?re My Little Girl? and am constantly being approached by children of divorced parents who are struggling with the very things talked about in this book. I am so thankful that somebody had the guts to step up to the plate and write a book like this.?
?Jamie Statema, member of the vocal group Go Fish

?The lingering effects of divorce will cripple adolescents and attempt to destroy the emotional health of adult children unless hope and healing can be found. Generation Ex helps readers take a big step in that healing process, equipping adult children of divorce to own their pain before they disown it and allow the losses in their lives to make them better, more healthy adults.?
?Gary Sprague, president, Center for Single-Parent Family Ministry -- Review

Review
“Anyone who has suffered the experience of their parents’ divorce will be blessed by this book. Jen Abbas will gently guide you on the path of personal health and wholeness with her vulnerability, wisdom, and biblical counsel.”
–Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, Seattle Pacific University, authors of When Bad Things Happen to Good Marriages

“Jen has written a powerful book with a desperately needed message of hope for a lost generation. What’s more she does it with an honesty that is refreshing and the intimacy of someone who has walked down this road herself. I was personally moved by the deeply personal revelations in this book, and as a result I have been able to see the issues at work in my family in a much clearer way.”
–Brad Miles, lead vocalist with Everman

“Jen Abbas masterfully weaves practical helps into the vulnerable, honest, and insightful discussions in Generation Ex. She couldn’t have chosen a better format, because processing the smothering pain and enduring fears born of a parent’s divorce takes conscious work. Halfway through the pages of this book, I was personally struck again by the overwhelming weight of the emotions of those years surrounding my own parents’ divorce, and yet I was struck once more by the hope soaking every page as this revolutionary book wound towards its close. Generation Ex will surely free countless broken hearts to sing again.”
–Fred Stoeker, coauthor of Every Man’s Battle and the Every Man series

“This is a brilliant book! Though I have never faced the issues Jen Abbas talks about, I was still enthralled because Jen is such an engaging writer. Her counsel is as practical as it is profound, and relevant not just for children of divorced couples but for any couple considering a divorce or anyone ministering to the children of divorce.”
–Gary Thomas, author of Sacred Marriage and Sacred Parenting

“Generation Ex is packed with stories gleaned from countless interviews of children of divorce, statistics gathered from a wide range of sources, and great interactive ways for readers to work through their own buried emotions resulting from a life thrust upon them by the mistakes and sins of their parents. Generation Ex is not a comfortable book to read. It isn’t intended to be. It is like a surgeon’s knife that has to do some damage before it can bring about the desired healing. While this is not a pretty process, it is necessary if true healing is to take place. Throughout this book Jen gently yet effectively confronts the reader with the hard truth and then gives them the means to begin the healing process.”
–Tim Way, senior buyer with Family Christian Stores

“More research is coming out every day about the long-term effects of divorce on now grown children. As a veteran in the publishing world, Jen Abbas knows where there are holes in the market that need filling. Jen also knows the hurt of growing up in a divorced home and offers practical, biblical help for the millions like her–and like me. Generation Ex is timely resource that meets a major felt need in our country.”
–John Trent, Ph.D., president, StrongFamilies.com

“This fine book is an excellent resource for both those seeking healing from the experience of divorced parents and those seeking to minister to them. Jen Abbas weaves together personal stories, practical exercises, and powerful faith in a masterful way that is highly readable and motivating. Her voice of experience is compassionate and credible, challenging the reader to not only understand but also move forward in a process of healing and restoration. Generation Ex is an essential resource for any professional who wants to understand and guide adult children of divorce through a comprehensive healing process.”
–Tom Emigh, vice president for student development, Cornerstone University

“Jen deals with this very delicate subject of divorce head-on, as only someone with her past family experience can. I have written about divorce in my song “You’re My Little Girl” and am constantly being approached by children of divorced parents who are struggling with the very things talked about in this book. I am so thankful that somebody had the guts to step up to the plate and write a book like this.”
–Jamie Statema, member of the vocal group Go Fish

“The lingering effects of divorce will cripple adolescents and attempt to destroy the emotional health of adult children unless hope and healing can be found. Generation Ex helps readers take a big step in that healing process, equipping adult children of divorce to own their pain before they disown it and allow the losses in their lives to make them better, more healthy adults.”
–Gary Sprague, president, Center for Single-Parent Family Ministry

From the Inside Flap
Finally, a Book for Adult Children of Divorce?
Written by an Adult Child of Divorce.

One of the hardest truths about divorce is that every split?no matter when it occurs?will have lifelong effects on the children caught in the crossfire. While most people acknowledge our pain during our parents? parting, few of us realize that our most significant insecurities, questions, and doubts may not show up for years, when we seek our own intimate relationships as adults.

In fact, millions of adult children of divorce feel lost, displaced, or unwanted years after the ink has dried on their parents? divorce decree. Like them, you may fear abandonment, betrayal, or failure in your own marriage. Despite outward successes, you may doubt your emotional abilities. You may notice that your parents? divorce affects you more each year, not less. You are not alone.

Through research, interviews, and personal stories, Generation Ex will help you understand the effect of your parents? divorce on your identity, faith, and relationships, and will give you the tools you need to create a dramatically different legacy.

INCLUDES QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION.

Customer Reviews

4 1/2 Stars...Realistic, Yet Restrained
Both my wife and I have gone through the anguish of our parents' divorces, so this book cried out to be read. The title, the cover, and the premise hooked us. Jen Abbas's wise words soothed us.

"Generation Ex" is more than a book for adult children of divorce. It's a book for life's wounded. It deals with God's redemption in the midst of heartache and loss. Chapter after chapter provide tidbits for forgiveness and moving on. Abbas's own restraint is commendable; she never lashes out or picks sides in her own family's upheaval. This is exemplary, but it also made it difficult for me to connect with the book at times. Perhaps dealing with these matters in a straightforward manner is best, yet if felt occasionally a bit clinical. Toward the end, the book seems weighted heavily for those who are considering marrriage in the light of their own parents' struggles. This makes the book particularly important for single adults.

Jen, thanks for sharing your own life and pain with us, and for doing so without bitterness. Thanks for bringing a sense of hope to those who have known despair.

Heart-Wrenching And Hopeful
I found that the most powerful parts of this book are about the author's life, including the poem about divorce Jen Abbas wrote at age 18, a letter from her father when she was six, and her heart-breaking memories of her parents' divorce and her mother's and stepdad's breakup. I read this book as a divorced parent--rather than as a child of divorce--and was touched by the author's emotional honesty. I didn't agree with some of the author's all-encompassing generalizations about how children of divorce have trouble forming relationships. However, I think this is an important book for divorced parents as well as children of divorce. Not only does Abbas provide children of divorce with a positive message about the need to move beyond past hurts and embrace the possibility of a happy future. She gives divorced parents great advice about how to treat their children: Don't lean on them emotionally, don't bad-mouth the "other" parent and don't insist your kids spend every vacation visiting all their "houses." Thanks to the author for her bravery and honesty!

Very Helpful Book
This book is about adult children of divorce, and the issues that they face when they grow up. I found this book helpful because I'm an adult child of divorce. I could relate to a lot of what the book said. There was some helpful information about having that sense of belonging, finding a home, finding peace, letting go of resentment, relating to your parents today, and how you can create that intact family by working with your own spouse. This book was not a parent bashing book, but a book about forgiveness, realizing that your parents are human, and that although you can't change what happened in the past, you can find ways to make your life work so that you can move on from the past.